Lose confidents in yourself when there is nowhere to go/how to still see people during the winter days

Hello and welcome to a new blog! Today's blog is about lose confidents in yourself when there is nowhere to go. 

This was me in the Spring where it was Lockdown and I was desperate to get outside but because of Lockdown, and felt a feeling of "Where can I go?" and I stayed in. I have a heart condition and that was why I was keeping myself indoors and safe.

When there is nowhere go to you can feel stuck and depressed, so if there is another lockdown I am still going to pop out and go for walks and visit any store that is open just to browse and to see new faces and places. 

I am still going to make sure that this Christmas is better than last year and say good morning to people if they say it to you, and you can still have playdates or meet ups you just have to keep your distance and why not take some hot chocolate in a flask to share with your kids and fellow parents, and going to use the time to exercise and still go for my walk on Christmas day which I love to do, and take my son out to play football or on his bike or scooter, and get outdoors. 

Getting in touch with nature always makes a different to me and watching the birds and Squirrels running around and if Bocketts Farm is open this year this is great to see some animals and even some raindeer, and pehaps Santa Claus. 

If you don't have family near you then make the most of the internet and other luxuries, and why not have a movie night with a few people around if you live on your own and do have friends and family close by. 

So lets not allow any lockdown to stop us from enjoying our lives.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

 

As if life was really that way/triggers of low self esteem feelings

I would love to be cured of my constant jabs at myself, but I have done this so much through my life to know that as much as I want those thoughts will soon creep back in if i don't act upon it. 

Since being in my 40's I have seen a lot of change in myself. I now am proud to be me and it has taken a long time to feel that way. 

Today I noticed my facial hair that I get just above my mouth really gets at me, thank god for skincare tbat I have a way to control it and for it to go and isn't really a lot but it makes me very self concious. 

If only there was a pill I could get to help prevent the growth of it. I would definitely take it and in fact I would think about having lazer treatment but that costs a lot so I have bought some disposable trimmers and did the treat to get rid of it. 

I am listening to a Paul McKenna book about confidence and has a lot of hyponsis tips in it, and gonna listen to it in a minute and found that his books are great to help me when having a down day about myself. Just being able to salute myself is a step forward and have been tried doing Mel Robbins The High Five Rule and go it ready to listen to on audio but been watching her videos that she has been making so you don't need to purchase the book, and it does help. 

when it comes to confidence I find when I am in a comfortable place I will make a coffee or a cup of tea without fear, but if it someone I don't know and worried about the atmosphere my low self esteem sets in and feel like I wish to be invisible at times. 

People think that you are not socialable but I am. As a kid I loved it when a whole group of us family and friend would go on holiday together because they were people I known from since a child and knew without being fearful. As a kid I would often be shy around family and could never workout myself why that is. 

Lacking confidence becomes a habit that is hard to break, but doesn't mean it can't be done and you can change, as I now see that it is a form of protection, and measuring the good with the bad. 

You can move on and to do that spend time to create new special things in your world, if it is a new make up rather than the some all the time or a scented candle when having a bath or reading a book. 

Is life how you make it? I am not sure now as I think mapping it out is better and go through, that was the passed, this is now and this is what is next. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Tea and Coffee how it comforts me and then lowered my confidence as a kid

As a kid I was a tea drinker and now I switch between the two, and it I am not sure if this is a normal thing being a grown up now, I do not know but with my tea I am quite precise in what I like. I am going to try and finish my jar of Nescafe, and not been great and gonna go back to Kenco Jar and there is a richer one I want to try. 

Why has these drinks come into my life?

Because when you get older your taste of things change, and for comfort. With tea I drank it like orange juice and has always been part of my life. When I have a cup it helps me reflect on things happening in my life, passed, present and future, yet my snn who is 8 years old has never had a cup and drinks water or milk and reminds me of the things I experienced in my life that is different for him. 

If he ever wanted to join me and in having a cup I would oblige as it never stopped me. Yet when tea did stain my teeth it made me really self conscious and felt ashamed of my teeth. 

I stopped drinking so much and the dentist at the time told me to cut down to 2 to 3 cups a day and this was hard as I was like, what else can I drink? I didn't drink water as I found it tastless and didn't help me, I didn't drink cans of drink as I could never finished one, and so it was tough to hear that, and did follow for a few days but not for long I was drinking so much. 

Now though I have 1 to 2 cups a day and may be a third in the winter, but I do cut it down and now my teeth are back to being white and learning as a kid I needed to do it when I was ready.

I love both tea and coffee but I no longer rely on it and do drink sodas and water now. 

How much my life has changed since a kid has made me see how much I have grown.

I no longer have to fear my teeth, I still struggle with the shape of my teeth but not the colour any longer, and so to be confident it means changing things in your life, the simplist of things, to keep building everyday you are alive. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Finding your confidence through the Winter and Autumn months

When it begins to get dark early I find it can effect your mood and feel that you don't to be up when it is dark and when it gets dark early it can feel like there is not enough time in the day, and I hated when working in London, it would be dark when you began your work and then dark when I would be going home.

Seeing the sun does lift me from my lack of confidence I still have this time of the year. I am starting to appreciate myself visually now, but it has taken a long time, and I would suffer with SAD sometimes and feel bleak around this time of the year. 

I am getting better on this, because I have had to do a lot of work of building my confidence up. It has progressed from being a child, to teenage years throughout adulthood. 

It often is the stress of the school run, when it is wet and rainy. I wish I could hybernate some days and getting up when it is cold tough and I hate it when it begins to get icy. 

The weather can have an influence of how you feel, and so it is good when you see the sun, get outdoors and enjoy it.

In England, you never know when the days will start to be colder and bleak and so Vitamin D is vital, and I love exploring whenever I can during the Autumn and Winter, and going to different places and can be nice to venture out, even when it is raining and chilly, and it all about wrapping up and just make the most of the good things about it, like treating myself to a hot chocolate or a coffee walking around London's national parks. 

The activities can make you burst with confidence as it helps with mindfulness and time to reflect and for me helps with my creativity and not become bored and lonely. Having good feelings about this time of the year as I write this blog on Halloween 2021, stops me feeling down about myself and focus on the good things in life. 

So how do you feel this time of the year? Do you suffer with SAD which can effect your confidence. 

You can leave a comment below. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

  

Don't put limitations on building your confidence

When it comes to confidence we often don't secretly want to be confidence because we fear other peoples reactions to this confident person that is still yet to come out.

That is limitations and can disrupt the change you want to have to be confident. We feel unworthy in having confidence and we tell ourselves, "I am never going to be confident because of XYZ".

This is not true and you are worthy. Do you still want to be lacking confidents when you are 50, 60 at 80? As when you stop it, it stops and will be on the wheel of confience and blocking yourself in creating a better view on yourselves and how you feel within. 

Within is where our confidence lives and often you want to keep it there, but then you look at someone thinking, I wish I had your confidents and you can have this. 

LET IT OUT!

Limitations are the door that shuts on you, and when people start to bitch, that becomes their issue not yours, so allow it to help grow into a confident person and let them see it. 

Work on building the support network you want and have a shuffle of letting people go to bring new people into your life. 

Set deadlines for yourself on working on your confidents and start creating an image of yourself with full confidence. If people don't have your back, then don't hold theirs and move on to the new people in who love your confidents and be there to help their's too.

So never put your confidents building to a hult and keep driving it up, so think about how you would get a car up a mountain and if you get to the top, give yourself a cheer and pat yourself on the back. 

We are our own makers and we all serve a place in this world. 

Many thamks for reading, 

Carrie X    

Finding your way through parenting

 As a parent I haven't always been super confident in fact having anxiety and being anxious did double. Sorry if this feels like I am scarmongering, I just like to give the facts but you find your way through. You will begin to see that kids from an early age will begin to make choices for themselves and want to do things without your help, and it can be a culture shock but when you have found your feet, you'll see that it can all fit in and will find a balance between you, the baby and non parent relationships and the other parent. 

Discussing any worries with your midwife whilst pregnant or trying to get pregnant is a great way to get advice and you can get counselling now when it comes to having children, which was never there before, and sitting down and chatting about it, along with other parents can give you real support and you'll be glad to have talked about anything that is causing you to feel anxiety still and anxiousness. 

Take each step as they come and I found comfort by learning about each stage of my pregnancy and wish I had a camera to see all the different stages as it is amazing and the biggest thing you'll ever do in your life. 

If you are tense your baby will feel it and so get prepared and have your stuff ready for the birth as soon as you have your 25 week scan. 

Have a budget when it comes to buying items for your baby and separate their money away from yours and have a changing basket in each floor and rooms you spend most of the time. 

I loved having a portable changing mat as it makes nappy changing a breeze.

Use a baby carrier for when they are new born and something I will do if I am able to get pregnant again. 

Finding items that are functionable and practical, like a portable changing areas and I used our items in the living as the bathroom where I lived when having Henry, wasn't big enough for baby changing to be done in there, so it was his room, a bed or the floors cleaned downstairs. 

I write a regular blog post on my site: https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

When people take sides and effects your confidence

Experiencing an end of a relationship, you'll discover many different emotions and dilemmas, like the change it means. Moving to a new home and sharing custody if you have children, and guilt especially you if like me ended it. 

It was not like I wanted it too and had it planned, I kept going through it as you get feelings, like will it change back and the emotions followed by the end of a friendship even, can hit like a knife but when one of you feel there's no spark anyone, it has to be what you decide, and what is the right answer? Often we look of answers when it is right in our face, and that is it can only go two ways, carry on praying it will fix it self or take action. Often you have to take action, however much it can hurt.  

With the end of friendships too, people will take sides and give advice when often we want to be listened to and yet people immediately in my experience jumped in front of the other person involved and then your left feeling like a criminal of some sorts. 

Yet it can be resolved by saying "Do you want to hear it from my side?" This gives them the choice, but people can be narrow minded and still not taking it in. I wrote a blog on my other site: everyonecanbuildacastle.com   about how to talk to someone when they don't want to listen? it is often you can't but give them the chance to, but if they are adament about it then it best to leave them and just support and back yourself and seek help elsewhere like Mind.org or even with mental health teams in your area. They usually separated going on borough in London and Surrey. 

So never feel guilt, and do like I did. We my ex-husband did sit down and talked, and now we are on good terms. I hope it can last this way and good for our some to be civil as you do have to remember if you have children they need to be told about what is happening and are listened to too. 

If it has knocked your confidence and self belief, then it is time perhaps to do something for yourself and take time to rebuild the wall around you and find people who are on your side and noone is sitting on the ledge, and being stuck in the middle of it. 

For me relationships I have had for years are like family and so when it ends it does really effect my confidence but I address and then go over and try to reach a medium and work on my self belief, and leave the window open for them, but only for so long. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X