Finding your way through parenting

 As a parent I haven't always been super confident in fact having anxiety and being anxious did double. Sorry if this feels like I am scarmongering, I just like to give the facts but you find your way through. You will begin to see that kids from an early age will begin to make choices for themselves and want to do things without your help, and it can be a culture shock but when you have found your feet, you'll see that it can all fit in and will find a balance between you, the baby and non parent relationships and the other parent. 

Discussing any worries with your midwife whilst pregnant or trying to get pregnant is a great way to get advice and you can get counselling now when it comes to having children, which was never there before, and sitting down and chatting about it, along with other parents can give you real support and you'll be glad to have talked about anything that is causing you to feel anxiety still and anxiousness. 

Take each step as they come and I found comfort by learning about each stage of my pregnancy and wish I had a camera to see all the different stages as it is amazing and the biggest thing you'll ever do in your life. 

If you are tense your baby will feel it and so get prepared and have your stuff ready for the birth as soon as you have your 25 week scan. 

Have a budget when it comes to buying items for your baby and separate their money away from yours and have a changing basket in each floor and rooms you spend most of the time. 

I loved having a portable changing mat as it makes nappy changing a breeze.

Use a baby carrier for when they are new born and something I will do if I am able to get pregnant again. 

Finding items that are functionable and practical, like a portable changing areas and I used our items in the living as the bathroom where I lived when having Henry, wasn't big enough for baby changing to be done in there, so it was his room, a bed or the floors cleaned downstairs. 

I write a regular blog post on my site: https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

When people take sides and effects your confidence

Experiencing an end of a relationship, you'll discover many different emotions and dilemmas, like the change it means. Moving to a new home and sharing custody if you have children, and guilt especially you if like me ended it. 

It was not like I wanted it too and had it planned, I kept going through it as you get feelings, like will it change back and the emotions followed by the end of a friendship even, can hit like a knife but when one of you feel there's no spark anyone, it has to be what you decide, and what is the right answer? Often we look of answers when it is right in our face, and that is it can only go two ways, carry on praying it will fix it self or take action. Often you have to take action, however much it can hurt.  

With the end of friendships too, people will take sides and give advice when often we want to be listened to and yet people immediately in my experience jumped in front of the other person involved and then your left feeling like a criminal of some sorts. 

Yet it can be resolved by saying "Do you want to hear it from my side?" This gives them the choice, but people can be narrow minded and still not taking it in. I wrote a blog on my other site: everyonecanbuildacastle.com   about how to talk to someone when they don't want to listen? it is often you can't but give them the chance to, but if they are adament about it then it best to leave them and just support and back yourself and seek help elsewhere like Mind.org or even with mental health teams in your area. They usually separated going on borough in London and Surrey. 

So never feel guilt, and do like I did. We my ex-husband did sit down and talked, and now we are on good terms. I hope it can last this way and good for our some to be civil as you do have to remember if you have children they need to be told about what is happening and are listened to too. 

If it has knocked your confidence and self belief, then it is time perhaps to do something for yourself and take time to rebuild the wall around you and find people who are on your side and noone is sitting on the ledge, and being stuck in the middle of it. 

For me relationships I have had for years are like family and so when it ends it does really effect my confidence but I address and then go over and try to reach a medium and work on my self belief, and leave the window open for them, but only for so long. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X