Sunday, 31 May 2020

Losing Sense of time

Hello and welcome to another Building Self Confidence blog.
In today's post I am writing about losing sense of the time, as this can so easily happen, when events in our lives take place, like losing a love one etc

It has been a testing time, many of us practicing self isolation and social distancing.

We can often feel that we have no control but we do. I used the time during the lockdown to write a blog/s everyday and work on some new books I wanted to publish, created a new work system to manage my work load, I created my first online course, (check out my blogpost on my related site everyonecanbuildacastle), and so I have really embraced the time I have had to make the most of self isolation.

Now it is time to gain some normality and gain more sense of time again. I will have that time from when Henry starts school to when he finishes to get bits done, I will hopefully be able to go back up to London again, take charge of my fitness as I have lost some of that since the lockdown and I am going to begin running again.

So it is time for me to embrace the school run once more and embrace that free time. My son I think is ready for school again and he will be able to mix with other kids again, which he has missed.

We have made some last minute preparations.

Have a good week everyone and stay safe as much as possible.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Monday, 18 May 2020

Ending Relationships to start new ones

You know when you are in a bad relationship, because you feel worthless, helpless and often betrayal, if they have cheated, lied and not been real.

If they make you feel like everyday is a bad day then it is time to call it a day.

My advise like I said before in previous post above negative people, is that leave them in their misery.

Never allow them to drag you down.

I have had to do this, the last few weeks and I got to say I am pretty relieved.

Ending relationships to start new ones is part of life, and you just have to let them go.

I have gotten to know some fantastic people and I know it is time to let those negative people go.

I still wish them well, but as far as I am concerned it is time to open a new chapter and the only way to do that is to have closure to the last chapter that drawing to its conclusion.

Sometimes in life you have to say goodbye and tell those who try to fuck your life up to fuck off and do one.

I know I will be told off for swearing but now I don't care because life is too short to allow those to drag me down even further.

So here's to a new life and time to surrender those that try to fail you and take your rights away forever.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Saturday, 16 May 2020

Respecting people with Mental Health Issues

I have just come back from having my evening meal and I wanted to reach out to all those like myself who have suffered or going through mental health issues.

There was a teacher at my school who's partner had killed themselves and the people around me were talking about his funeral, saying how the music was terrible. Why would anyone play that?

Let me tell you when someone is clinically depressed,

Tip 1# Don't judge when you don't know

I have been clinically depressed and hence why I am on anti-depressants now and it can be the loneliest place in the world, and you imagine your funeral, and I would have had my family respect my wishes.

Today after those close to me knowing what I have been through this year first of all didn't believe me when I felt someone was after me, and made it about them.

Tip 2# It isn't about you it is about the person who is depressed

You need to put your own feelings aside and listen. That is half the trouble I felt like noone was listening to me.

All you want is someone to listen and not judge, just be quiet whilst I poor my heart out.

Tip 3# Never say you understand when you clearly don't

People who are depressed, anxious or have psychosis are in a very bad bubble and feel there is no way out.

Only those who have suffered with this problems can understand what is like and are more likely to say "I have been there you can get out of it".

Tip 4# Respect people with Mental Health issues, by giving them space not thinking they are attention seeking but are crying out for help for a reason.

I sat not so long ago on a bench in Hammersmith near Hammersmith bridge and cried my heart out and kept thinking about jumping off.

I haven't told anyone, but there were people who knew but were helpless and was going through trauma themselves.

I felt like my world had come to an end.

Tip 5# Be compassionate with someone who is clinically depressed or have other mental health problems

I don't mean treading on egg shells just offer them your shoulder to cry on if they need it.

I know there are times where as family member you can't always help those with clinical depression, but just being there can make all the difference.

Respect peoples wishes and don't judge those like you wouldn't like to judged yourself.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Friday, 15 May 2020

Ten ways to building confidence

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When it comes to self confidence it has to come within, it isn't something that fades away over night, you have to build on it, taking small steps rather than big steps.

Here are ten ways to building confidence:

1. Set a goal a day and stick to it
2. Give yourself some love, care and attention
3. Create a vision board of the ideal you
4. Keep a journal of when you felt low and when you have felt happy and concentrate on the happy events rather than the sad ones
5. Eat a healthier diet or avoid binge eating
6. Do an act of kindness
7. Practice gratitude
8. Give your wardrobe a make over
9. Exercise
10. Set yourself a challenge a day

It is all about coming out of your comfort zone at times but finding out who you are, what you are capable of and caring for yourself.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Sunday, 10 May 2020

Ten Tips on how to create Happiness

Hello and welcome to another blogpost on this site. 

Here are 10 tips on how to create happiness:

1. Make the most of every day. If you had one day to live what would you do? To me is spending it with people that I love, going to a concert or a soccer match and letting my hair down.
2.    Find you niche. So what creates good energy and makes you want to get up in the morning.
3.    Find your smile. When we smile it automatically releases endorphins and can be contagious.
4.    Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. I have struggled with the way I look, but now I will have a good old look at myself and see that, “I’m not so bad after all”.
5.    Being content. For me that is writing or sitting in the garden reading or listening to a book.
6.    Practice gratitude. I schedule time to journal in my gratitude book and really helps get rid of the cobwebs and feel good about life
7.    Give a compliment. If you see someone wearing a nice dress or pair of shoes for example let them know, as this will make them happy and in turn make you happy too.
8.    Create a happiness journal. I have one and love to get it out and write about an event I went to which was a success or even on a day out somewhere. This is a great thing to create as you can make it into a photo journal.
9.    Create a happiness board. This similar to above and creating a vision, but this will be a board with photos, a picture of your favourite dress, a flower from your garden, anything that makes you happy
  10. Have a worry pot. So it’s like having a mindfulness pot, with happy messages, well you can do one for your worries and then at the end of the week go through them and ask yourself, was it worth the worry? Did everything turn out okay?

  Many thanks for reading, 

  Carrie X 

Thursday, 7 May 2020

Having Self Belief

Hello and welcome to another blog post. 
In this blogpost I am talking about Having Self Belief, which is so important to our happiness and wellbeing. 

If you don't have belief in yourself then this will reflect on other people around you.

The one thing I am learned is not to doubt myself as I can be my own worse critic, but I know I have strengths, which are, I am determined, passionate and compassionate.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, but how you deal with them is what will make a difference.

If you dwell on your weaknesses then that is all you will see, so you need to get in touch with your strengths, which will override your weaknesses.

Yes you should still work on your weaknesses, but the worst thing is to allow them to dominate.

It is a bit like if you kept thinking about a red car, and suddenly all you notice are red cars everywhere. It is what you focus on.

Self belief is so important to help you towards conquering your goals and achieving things in your life.

So be determined, find your strengths and stay focused.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Tuesday, 28 April 2020

Building confidence about your self image

Since I was a kid I have always been someone who has struggled with their self image, and compared myself to others.

At school there was a girl called Sherie who I have written about in my book The Peabody Years, because she was so pretty and popular, that I wished I could be just like her and would imagine it too.

I have always found it tough since I was a kid to fit in, but now I am 41 years of age my outlook on myself image compared to back then has changed dramatically.

Please check out my EBooks relating to this topic called,

Mind Matters : Building Self Confidence 

Don't get me wrong I still get those days where I avoid a mirror of any shape or form. I still am hesitate at times when it comes to trying on clothes in a public fitting room, but I have learned to love myself more and appreciate what I do have and what I do like.

Excepting who you are is important especially being a mum now, I don't want my son to feel those emotions about himself like I have done, and I want him to thrive. So I am conscious about my self image, so my insecurities don't rub off on to him.

The one book I would recommend to read about building confidence is a book by Paul McKenna, called,

Change Your Life In Seven Days

It will help you get out of a rut and even if you are in lockdown you can still follow the book and its exercises.. 

I found it super helpful and I have even got the Paul McKenna book, 

I Can Make You Rich

  • If you need financial support which is not helping your confidence then this book is great to follow. 
  • Meditation is also good way of feeling good about yourself, along with exercise and eating a lot healthier. 
  • Practice mindfulness, which is noticing everything around you whilst you breath in through the nose out through the mouth.

Yes you can still splurge now and again, but as I see it a treat is a treat and not something you need to have everyday. You know within yourself that if you eat 12 Mars Bars in one go, you ain't gonna feel happy, but regret. As soon as we eat fatty foods and processed foods the more we crave them and feel we need them, which in turn destroys your confidence because you are now paranoid about your weight. 

I see it as unnecessary stress. 

You can easily workout at home, I have done and I am going to start doing some exercises today even if it is for 5 to 10 minutes or going for a walk. I have been self isolating at my mum's for a bit now, and my marriage has broken down, so things have changed, but I feel new positive outcomes on the horizon. 

I can look at myself in the mirror and feel like "Yes I feel good today" And that to me is a stepping stone. 

Tony Robbins does videos about Instant Confidence, check out his video linked below: 

Building confidence about your self image, is to remember that noone is perfect and many images on magazines have been airbrushed and edited in a way that they look good, but it has taken make up and hair done professionally for them to look glamorous on the front cover. 

We can be unkind to ourselves and ridicule every each of our body. 

  • Practice gratitude as this helps get in touch with the positive side of the brain and go through what you are thankful for. If it is self image, then say "I am grateful for my eyes and ears" for example, because there are people who can't hear or see, and we should feel grateful for these senses. 
  • Create a vision board of what you would look like and set a budget, as it could be the jumper is too big or jeans for example not suiting your body type, so create an ideal you, and think carefully about this image you see in front you . 
  1. Are they super confident?
  2. How are they standing?
  3. What are they wearing?
  4. How are they speaking?
  • Go through your wardrobe and have your own fashion show and put outfits already together and watch repeats of Gok Won programme How To Look Good Naked: This is really great for inspiration.
In any case beauty is within, they can be the most beautiful looking person in the world but not necessarily a nice person. 

So don't fret over the way you look and have fun with putting make up on, painting your nails or dressing up for a change if you are going out. 

I will post more very soon....

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X