Things That People Say and do online

I have always found that being seen as sexual quite uncomfortable. There was a time when I felt it was good to be sexy and admired people who showed off their bodies but for me I like to leave some things to the imagination and one of my friends said to me "Men like a woman they can introduce to their mothers". 

I remember it being a "Yes" moment. I see that. I don't want to be out there. I have been given unwanted attraction online when I was innocently posting on Instagram clothes on, taking part in a charity cause. There were guys it seems making fake accounts and women may I add, saying very inappropriate sexual things and asking me for my email and wanting to to message me. It wasn't one it it was about 20 or so within about hour or so one night on holiday. I don't want to be seen as sexy. Its not me. I want to be seen as a woman who is doing good deed and it made me feel very uncomfortable. 

There are women and men who are comfortable with it getting sexual attention but I am not. It's not that I don't like compliments its just the way it is said and its from random people who have no idea who I am and I just felt so conscious of myself and what I share. I can see how easy it is when young people are groomed. There are some disturbing people out there and I feel with social media you can be an easy target. 

It is good to be proud of your body but I want to have some privacy and be known as a good and kind person not as a sex symbol and it has made me realise how I feel about people looking at me. It opened my eyes to how people can misinterpret something and what you wear to the world have implications to unwanted attention. 

Should we care about what we are wearing? I feel it is up to you and if you feel comfortable then fine but for me I am not comfortable with that and I suppose I am drawing too much attention to it but it has really effected me and has altered my mind in what I share as this happened when sharing selfies and thought it was be a great thing to show me doing squats for charity in clothes may I add but the online world is becoming a mean world and I do feel social media is still not acting on these issues of the online world. These people are using it to scam, be unkind. It has really a vulnerable place and can affect your confidence.

Let me know how you feel about posting online and what you feel about sharing online. You can leave a comment below. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

No Such Thing As a Nobody

When I'd get attention or be praised I would think "I'm a nobody" and watching the News programme on ITV one of the presenters says that Arthur Fery, a Tennis Player, was a nobody. He fought his way to winning to get the next round, which was the Quarter Finals. Okay he is not a well known name compared to other players and it was one of the best Tennis matches I have seen in years, but he is somebody and I bet he is known by those who really follow the sport. 

Everybody is somebody. They are someone's son, daughter, father, mother, brother, sister and so I was like you may not have heard of him, and it was how it was said. He is young so he's the beginning of his career but he has to be good to get to play at Wimbledon and no I hadn't seen him before but Rod Stewart wasn't known world wide at first but in a 60's song he is mentioned. It is a tough competition but they are all somebody. 

Watching Carole King she was writing for other artists before she became a singer too and often writers are forgotten about, but they're still somebody. She still created music that has lasted a lifetime and in watching her concerts on Youtube had written songs I have loved for years that I had no idea she had written.

I believe we are all unique. We all have personalities which may be different to yours and not everyone will like what you like but I like people who are different. Working at Butlins there were such a mixture of people and of course I didn't get on with all of them but there were those that I got on with instantly and liked. They were different. It made me see that we all somebody whether you may know their name or not. 

One guy who was a big lad and chatty, good a darts but then he was in the pub got up a sang and was amazing yet you would have never noticed and my friend and room mate was a good singer and she was good at cooking and was very sociable and very few people have helped me grow out of my shell and I felt like I was somebody. 

At school I made friends who were into Rock Music. How I got into that type of music and glad they were different to other girls and not trendy and just did their own thing. 

We are playing a part in this world and so if I hear someone say "I am noone" then I will think "No because you wouldn't be here" and everyone is someone. Yes there are bad people, but hearing Jo Good, Middle Age Minx, she was on the train that collided recently, that the NHS were brilliant as many people were very badly hurt and many paramedics, doctors and nurses had to give up what they were doing and went into the treat passengers that was hurt. Are they somebody? Of course and so never say your a Nobody because you are. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Handling Your Hormones

Watching a video on Tik Tok of a Princess of Wales greeting people I suddenly I felt emotional. I am an emotional person which I have learnt to embrace and often a cry especially when it is my cycle and so a little cry always helps with my monthly hormones and feeling extra tired, sleep is not too bad now, but I would find I had to stay still not to bleed, but now as I have gotten older it is less heavy and if you are heavy then speak to the doctor. They can give some great advice and now it is less now it has sort of corrected it self but still get other feelings and that is feeling sad, reacting to things differently because of my mood changing and extra hungry.

Your body and emotions are always evolving and it can be a song, a picture or a memory but to handle my feelings having a good cry has a greater impact on my wellbeing. Let it out and journal too. I journal everyday and would not be a good day if I didn't. It really helps with my hormones as it helps face my feelings when I feel low and no day is the same. 

I have had a good week so in my life personally is good but I just get really heavily emotional each month and it used to drive me mad but it is part of being a female. Its my body reacting to my change each month and the good thing I am no longer turning to, is bad food all of the time and not depriving myself either, but being wiser in my choices. What you eat can react to your feelings when your in your monthly period and it can be hard for our partners or spouses because they often don't know what to do. Why your being short tempered and sweating a lot. I find my body heat goes up and the constant need of the toilet can effect how you feel so if you need get extra rest do it. Listen your body and often my body will turn to carbs, so will have pasta, potatoes and like a slice of toast. 

Watching something that makes me laugh and speak to someone professional about it. When I was struggling with life I got help and it was the best thing I did, but I still get bad days or days where I am not so happy, but why I journaling, getting rest or go for walk if I feel able to, slow walking . Walking to me is the a great source of therapy, I wrote this blog for my life coaching programme: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2026/06/19/what-you-have-and-do-each-day-can-be-therapy/  and when I was in a mental health hospital they did a morning walk each week. 

I like to have a nice bath and using a nice bubble bath or a shower gel and just making your emotions reduce and still feeling good within yourself. I love music. I never go a day without listening to some good tunes and having a playlists to listen to and binge on. like Podcasts and enjoying currently watching the World Cup. I feel we often don't want to talk about it but for me chatting to a teacher at school when I first started to have my monthly cycle talk me through it and getting my health checked each year and any changes to share with your doctor or nurse as it may be minor but just to check and I want to hospital and I was examined but it was okay, but good that I got checked out. 

I hope you find this helpful. I do have a Youtube channel where I share part of my life too and please if you like to share then please do, use the comments section below. Here is the link to my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@Carriechalloner

Many thank for reading,

Carrie X 

Building A Relationship with your body image

Self image can really play with our minds. I see stars from reality shows have face lifts and extreme work done and it scares me because of the future generation. 

There was a time where I was thinking of changing my breasts and getting them lifted but that is what bras are for and I worry. I remember sex and the city where Samantha goes to get her boobs changed and she finds our that she has breast cancer. That may never be the case but it does worry me and also I like them. 

They may be saggy but they're alright and I am petite but again I wouldn't be me and I feel that we were given our bodies for a reason. I am not saying it is not right to get a nip n tuck, it just feels me with fear especially when it goes wrong and people not being medically trained to do a procedure to change someone's look. I'd like to have a facial and get my hair done but that all I want and will do. I personally would stay well clear and I've had an operation. I have a hole in my heart and feel that I have to take good care of my shell and bones. 

I see Katie Price and her daughter Princess looks just like her when she didn't have her lips and face done. It makes me feel like I want to say "Your perfect and no more" but people do have to decide for themselves and would she listen to me? Probably not and it can be proved that it can become addictive. 

I like to look after my Skin and so will by creams. I like to moisturise as I can get dry skin and been prescribed foot cream as I tried different ones but not made a difference and I do have nice feet so want to look after them and listen to your body.

There was a time I'd purposely not look in the mirror. I hated fitting rooms and it would really get me down. I hated being me and why I developed an eater disorder. There is so many people with big lips and I hate to say but they can look like a duck or a Goldfish a lot of the time and you don't need face lifts to look good. 

I think it is good to want to tone as I am working towards that, but I don't want to be too toned but look after my physique and changing my style as I'd like to be more feminine and I look at Pinterest a lot for looks but on what suits me and I feel good in wearing.

Nutrition I am getting conscious of and did at one time eat a lot of chocolate but not so much and I feel good for that. I like a fizzy drink and do consume alcohol but at a balanced level and what my body can have and not binge drinking anymore, but enjoy the taste. I used to be the one who'd be paralytic. I like a coffee or tea instead and when I do have an alcoholic drink it will be at the weekends. 

I have build a tolerance against my inner critic and even writing a book about it. 

Please check out my X Account where I post all my blogs and my Pinterest:

https://x.com/typical86285

https://uk.pinterest.com/carriechallonerholmes

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

 

Embrace Your Life and Yourself

There was a time I hated my style. Looking in my wardrobe I felt I had nothing to wear and found it hard to get out of bed. I wouldn't bath because we'd have to wait for the water to heat up and didn't have a shower back then.

One of the places I like to walk a local park in Epsom and looking at the flowers

I was looking at myself whilst out recently and I really loved my style. 

There are times I do still question what I look like and compare. 

Since working on my mindset I will instantly snap myself out of it. I make an effort and do my skincare, I will brush my hair and make sure I brush my teeth. It is that simple. 

I like putting outfits together and buying less. I like good practical but nice looking footwear. I do wear make up and have a quick routine but have no make up days but still moisturise and love facial sprays.

For me they are like a wake up tonic for my face.

I am making changes with my shopping habit, by no o longer investing in cheap clothes from amazon. I have found that they often are made quite badly and buy from the Highstreet again or charity shops. I focus on longevity and condition. 

I do stay active and walk everyday and do weights. In the summer I like to go swimming and playing sports with my son and it mentally stimulates my mind and body and worked on a good bedtime routine and that has made a huge difference on how I feel about myself and not feeling good about myself was draining. 

So in a journal write about your feelings. I have never enjoyed journaling so much than a do now and has really been helpful and what I want my ambitions are. I am having so much fun these days and I make sure when I rest I rest and have some social interaction, enjoy my home and organising the house.

I like to walk around where there is nature and go for a coffee and just having that time not rushing, being outdoors and love a pond, lake or river. 

I love that I have legs that can walk, I can see and hear what is around me and just thankful of what I have and not what I don't and what I like about myself and my life. 

It isn't about doing 5 mile walks but just for 10 to 30 minutes a day. 

It has made such a difference. 

So embrace yourself and your life and something not working then journal and go through why. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Be Proud of Yourself

Choose the word that describes you and compliments you. Tell yourself "I am friendly and people feel comfortable around me". This does not mean your big head, which was something I believed for a while and now I can honestly say I like who I am. 

I do make sure I look after my body by making sure I keep myself clean, I look after my teeth and hair. I love casual clothes now and glad I no longer have to wear a suits and can be in jeans and a cozy jumper. I like my tastes. Yes it may not suit all, but not everyone is going to wear it. 

There are times when I still find myself criticizing myself and catch myself and comparing myself.  

I am trying to wear leggins less and wear trousers. I want to wear more dresses but it depends on the weather and my son loves playing sports and so I have had to adapt my style but it is not all about clothing. 

Being overly shy I feel in observing and having experience in life, we can all be shy. One of my mums friends is super chatty and chats to people like she knows you, but when it came to it she wouldn't get up and sing on Karoake and so I feel we can all be a little shy and it depends on who is around you. 

When I followed a rugby team the social aspect was brilliant and I fell in love with it and within I say 5 minutes felt like I was part of a family and really let my hair down. I would make an effort and was very much into heals, but I loved that girl who enjoyed herself to the point I didn't want to go to work the next day and couldn't wait until we went to the next game. 

I was a very much into being feminine, but now I like the boyish look and I find it brightens me and when I am happy. I was told that I would influence the mood in the room and when I would go out with friends, in my clubbing days when I enjoyed myself everyone got a buzz from me and had a dance partner when I would go out. No romance at all we just loved to dance. I am generous and will wish people a Happy Birthday and compliment others. 

Yes I am blowing my own trumpet but why can't I? 

It is has taken years to feel confident about myself and so be proud of yourself, you have the right and it is better a place when you do and makes you get up and enjoy who you are, rather than disliking yourself. 

I have torn myself apart, when looking at myself and with being a mum I know I had to change my mindset and get help with my depression caused by body image and not liking myself.

So be proud of yourself and don't allow anyone to bring your own including that inner critic. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

I like being natural - Building Self Confidence

It is good to have no make up days and that my nails are my own and that I allow my skin to breath, along with wearing clothes that are comfortable and I don't put tones of make up on. I know if I did my skin would suffer. If your going out then it is nice but just a day indoors or a chilled out day, then I don't bother. This is not against those that do wear make up daily. that is up to you, for me it would be too much for my skin. 

Me 

As a young girl I never wore make up. I feel that Pamela Anderson has woken up to show that someone who was a Calendar Girl and a glamour model and actor that, you don't to wear make up if you don't want to and it has been accepted. I feel that she has started a new found confidence and that you can still be beautiful without make up.

I remember on TOWIE some for the girls didn't wear make up to campaign about being natural and one of the women said "I don't want to look like a boy. Why would I like to be boy?" and I thought that was really ignorant thing to say. Women with make up doesn't mean your gonna look like a boy. 

If a person doesn't want work done, that isn't them being less of a person it comes down to personal choice and should be respected. My mum chooses to wear make daily and that is up to her. There is nothing wrong with that, but she doesn't get Botox or had a face lift and she has made me feel that I don't need to get work done either. I despised myself for such a long time and have battles with my self. I wanted to reduce my breasts, get work done on my neck and be slimmer but I don't want to do that now.

We put too much pressure on ourselves and spend thousands on trying to fix our faces and our bodies. I am 47 and have young skin still because I haven't spent too long in the sun. I use products suitable for my skin, but that is non fragrance and moisturise and careful with what I apply inside and on the outside. 

I am in a place where I am okay as I am and I focus on the inside of my body. So I take Supplements and medication for my Mental Health and brush my teeth each day. Shower and have a bath on some days and to me, that is still making an effort but not putting myself through a lot of pressure to feel good about myself. It can be a never ending cycle. 

It is good to look at yourself and going through what you like about yourself. I like my boobs, my hair and my legs. Now you do it. The human body is an amazing thing and that we should think about that. My body held my son. I have a hole in my heart and feel unique when thinking about that. 

I have done running events and fundraising walks. My boobs produced milk for my son and so our bodies are unique and so love it and embrace the natural beauty you have. Be authentic and smile, and that is a good remedy that helps the toning of you face and feel good in being you.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X