Feeling under valued

Have you ever felt as if your world has tumbled? Well I worked in a call centre and I had been there for a long time and would train new agents and one day one of the actual Trainer asked for my advice only for a manager tell him to not ask me as if I didn't know anything. 

She would ask me for help, so I was like okay and kept my distance. 

I have seen people moral go within a instant because this particular person could be very two faced. She was a manager and before she said the above felt we had a good work relationship. 

I couldn't get it out of my head and in the end I was made redundant like many but I thought really like saying "Stuff you", but I decided not to and forgot about it.

Should I have said something? I just hate confrontation and so just let it go. 

This was not just one experience and one time someone made me feel undervalued I decided to say something. Was it the right thing? At the time it was and felt no I am going to speak up for myself and so can you. It not right to be treated badly. Be seen incapable when you've worked your butt off. 

It is not how you treat people and one manage was good because he'd always pulled then aside to speak to them, not shout and was still respectful. People make mistakes and rather then help, feel it okay to go mental because of it.

If somebody is doing something wrong then show and teach. Let them ask questions and listen to what someone has to say. I often find myself talking over the other person so now I no sit back and listen and catch myself when I am about speak and teaching children about handling situations it has to begin from our own actions and make people feel valued and I hate seeing people being mistreated. 

There is no need to scream and shout. Keep your voice firm but not get in their face, throw things around and just calmly chat. I knew someone I'd go for a drink with and had a discussion and then use it against you at work. 

Leave the outside discussions to one side. Remember people are human and that we all deserve to be treated respectfully and dignity.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

Things That People Say and do online

I have always found that being seen as sexual quite uncomfortable. There was a time when I felt it was good to be sexy and admired people who showed off their bodies but for me I like to leave some things to the imagination and one of my friends said to me "Men like a woman they can introduce to their mothers". 

I remember it being a "Yes" moment. I see that. I don't want to be out there. I have been given unwanted attraction online when I was innocently posting on Instagram clothes on, taking part in a charity cause. There were guys it seems making fake accounts and women may I add, saying very inappropriate sexual things and asking me for my email and wanting to to message me. It wasn't one it it was about 20 or so within about hour or so one night on holiday. I don't want to be seen as sexy. Its not me. I want to be seen as a woman who is doing good deed and it made me feel very uncomfortable. 

There are women and men who are comfortable with it getting sexual attention but I am not. It's not that I don't like compliments its just the way it is said and its from random people who have no idea who I am and I just felt so conscious of myself and what I share. I can see how easy it is when young people are groomed. There are some disturbing people out there and I feel with social media you can be an easy target. 

It is good to be proud of your body but I want to have some privacy and be known as a good and kind person not as a sex symbol and it has made me realise how I feel about people looking at me. It opened my eyes to how people can misinterpret something and what you wear to the world have implications to unwanted attention. 

Should we care about what we are wearing? I feel it is up to you and if you feel comfortable then fine but for me I am not comfortable with that and I suppose I am drawing too much attention to it but it has really effected me and has altered my mind in what I share as this happened when sharing selfies and thought it was be a great thing to show me doing squats for charity in clothes may I add but the online world is becoming a mean world and I do feel social media is still not acting on these issues of the online world. These people are using it to scam, be unkind. It has really a vulnerable place and can affect your confidence.

Let me know how you feel about posting online and what you feel about sharing online. You can leave a comment below. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Handling The Nerves/Hearing yourself Speak

I remember when I heard myself for the first time. My friend had a camcorder and I was shocked by hearing myself and the fact that it was cringing, was an understatement. 

Then when I heard Diana speak and how she had elocution lessons made me feel that I am not the only one who suffered with nerves when speaking out. So did her Great Father law the Queens father and had help with speaking to world and the whole of Britain and it can really effect your confidence and I hated the way I spoke. 

Yet as a young girl, performing in shows as I had dancing lessons and did performances in school and the dance teacher would put a yearly show and I loved it and I wasn't nervous at all and it is strange that when I heard myself, I wanted to be invisible and then as I began to do Youtube videos I got used to it. I found myself say "You know" like a thousand times and er and um. 

I used a Dictaphone to practice speaking and began to laugh at my voice. I had the micky taken out of my voice because I'd stutter and would laugh but deep down it was affecting me and began to move away from that. People will think that it is just a joke but when it does make you want to hide away you know that these people will continue and when I would give back they didn't like it and I suppose they felt that it made then feel better. 

I mean some of it was funny but when I felt, when I stammered, like I wanted to go home and glad that I lost contact with them. My real friends would be supportive. It was work colleagues and we did have fab times but when you feel them smirking and felt uncomfortable, I decided to lose contact. I suffer with social anxiety and I now work on Hospital radio and I actually love it and really has helped with my confidence. 

I heard myself sing and I didn't think I was too bad and no I will never be Charlotte Church or Katherine Jenkins but wasn't like a cat screaming as I thought and I do get nervous doing my show but enjoy it at the same time and I love music and as a child I wouldn't always speak. Talking has always been a struggle and when someone would talk to me either my mum or brother would talk for me and now my son does the same when someone talks to him and so I encourage and he is never rude, he still learning about conversation and I feel he will struggle talking in front of others but again it is a skill that can grow and being around the right people. 

I mean David Beckham I remember hearing on Match of the Day for the first time and he had the micky taken out of him and I felt he handled it impeccably and I am sure it bothered him. I mean he is human. He took it and spoke via his skill in football and that is often the best way. 

So if you find it a shock when you hear your voice then one tip is, to find a song that you can listen to and sing to, record your voice via your mobile phone and read. That is what has helped me and I loved acting. That really did helped and enjoyed being in shows and plays.  

So use your voice, never hide away. That is not the answer and your voice is just as important to listen to, as the next person. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X