Things That People Say and do online

I have always found that being seen as sexual quite uncomfortable. There was a time when I felt it was good to be sexy and admired people who showed off their bodies but for me I like to leave some things to the imagination and one of my friends said to me "Men like a woman they can introduce to their mothers". 

I remember it being a "Yes" moment. I see that. I don't want to be out there. I have been given unwanted attraction online when I was innocently posting on Instagram clothes on, taking part in a charity cause. There were guys it seems making fake accounts and women may I add, saying very inappropriate sexual things and asking me for my email and wanting to to message me. It wasn't one it it was about 20 or so within about hour or so one night on holiday. I don't want to be seen as sexy. Its not me. I want to be seen as a woman who is doing good deed and it made me feel very uncomfortable. 

There are women and men who are comfortable with it getting sexual attention but I am not. It's not that I don't like compliments its just the way it is said and its from random people who have no idea who I am and I just felt so conscious of myself and what I share. I can see how easy it is when young people are groomed. There are some disturbing people out there and I feel with social media you can be an easy target. 

It is good to be proud of your body but I want to have some privacy and be known as a good and kind person not as a sex symbol and it has made me realise how I feel about people looking at me. It opened my eyes to how people can misinterpret something and what you wear to the world have implications to unwanted attention. 

Should we care about what we are wearing? I feel it is up to you and if you feel comfortable then fine but for me I am not comfortable with that and I suppose I am drawing too much attention to it but it has really effected me and has altered my mind in what I share as this happened when sharing selfies and thought it was be a great thing to show me doing squats for charity in clothes may I add but the online world is becoming a mean world and I do feel social media is still not acting on these issues of the online world. These people are using it to scam, be unkind. It has really a vulnerable place and can affect your confidence.

Let me know how you feel about posting online and what you feel about sharing online. You can leave a comment below. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Handling Your Hormones

Watching a video on Tik Tok of a Princess of Wales greeting people I suddenly I felt emotional. I am an emotional person which I have learnt to embrace and often a cry especially when it is my cycle and so a little cry always helps with my monthly hormones and feeling extra tired, sleep is not too bad now, but I would find I had to stay still not to bleed, but now as I have gotten older it is less heavy and if you are heavy then speak to the doctor. They can give some great advice and now it is less now it has sort of corrected it self but still get other feelings and that is feeling sad, reacting to things differently because of my mood changing and extra hungry.

Your body and emotions are always evolving and it can be a song, a picture or a memory but to handle my feelings having a good cry has a greater impact on my wellbeing. Let it out and journal too. I journal everyday and would not be a good day if I didn't. It really helps with my hormones as it helps face my feelings when I feel low and no day is the same. 

I have had a good week so in my life personally is good but I just get really heavily emotional each month and it used to drive me mad but it is part of being a female. Its my body reacting to my change each month and the good thing I am no longer turning to, is bad food all of the time and not depriving myself either, but being wiser in my choices. What you eat can react to your feelings when your in your monthly period and it can be hard for our partners or spouses because they often don't know what to do. Why your being short tempered and sweating a lot. I find my body heat goes up and the constant need of the toilet can effect how you feel so if you need get extra rest do it. Listen your body and often my body will turn to carbs, so will have pasta, potatoes and like a slice of toast. 

Watching something that makes me laugh and speak to someone professional about it. When I was struggling with life I got help and it was the best thing I did, but I still get bad days or days where I am not so happy, but why I journaling, getting rest or go for walk if I feel able to, slow walking . Walking to me is the a great source of therapy, I wrote this blog for my life coaching programme: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2026/06/19/what-you-have-and-do-each-day-can-be-therapy/  and when I was in a mental health hospital they did a morning walk each week. 

I like to have a nice bath and using a nice bubble bath or a shower gel and just making your emotions reduce and still feeling good within yourself. I love music. I never go a day without listening to some good tunes and having a playlists to listen to and binge on. like Podcasts and enjoying currently watching the World Cup. I feel we often don't want to talk about it but for me chatting to a teacher at school when I first started to have my monthly cycle talk me through it and getting my health checked each year and any changes to share with your doctor or nurse as it may be minor but just to check and I want to hospital and I was examined but it was okay, but good that I got checked out. 

I hope you find this helpful. I do have a Youtube channel where I share part of my life too and please if you like to share then please do, use the comments section below. Here is the link to my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@Carriechalloner

Many thank for reading,

Carrie X 

How Much Should You Share- Body Confidence- Online- Messaging and Trolling

I am watching the New Reality Show, The Prince Diaries who is Peter Andre and Katie Price's daughter and she shares a message to her friend, in her show and her dad, about guys on Social Media sending her inappropriate messages and I have had that too, or asked if they can call me and chat to me directly, yet I am not a reality star. Not saying that I disagree with Reality shows, but that even I innocently posting a selfie, too help my confidence, and fully clothed, was getting weird men wanting to hook up. I now block and have become more vigilant about what I post. 

There are two sides of this. That you, 

• Shouldn't be showing others yourself online if you don't want inappropriate messaging. Like those who are sending these messages, have the right to so
• Adding filters to your selfies, is the cause
• Showing images of yourself naked whilst pregnant or a friend I knew from when working at Butlins, showing pictures and writing a message of her daughter that had sadly passed away, is. wrong

I have no judgement on that, the human body is amazing and celebrating peoples lives, of people no longer in the world, to raise awareness and get support from others, is up to the person. I never really worried about my body when I was pregnant, but wouldn't have the confidence to show my body whilst pregnant or at all.

I think as long as you keep yourself safe and you are aware of other peoples views, then it is up to you. 

If you share a picture of a love one, can help others feel they aren't alone and can get help with helping others, then it can be a great asset to post on online. 

Then there is trolling and bullying and it can lead to that. 

My one bit of advice is, make sure your on guard, that if anything comes up, you don't entertain them.

With Princess (Peter Andrea and Katie Price) daughter has always been in the limelight and grown up with cameras in her face, and that can add pressure and insecure. I think about Karen Carpenter and she began to be affected by horrible reports in the News Papers. 

Being in the headlines and living with celebrity parents, people can be extra unkind, when I worked in a call center and helped people through the chat service, could be so much ruder and unkind. I was threatened, called names and told that I should get run over by a train. As a kid I wanted to be famous, but I know now, if I had been from a young age, it would have affected me, in terms of insecurity and damage, a lot more because I already had insecurities. 

I am glad that there was no social media back when I was a child. Yet people were unkind still growing up in the 80's, in newspapers, sporting events and Miss World competitions. There were page three girls, Miss World, Ring Girls and Playboy. 

Then you had String fellows, with Topless dancing and nude modeling. 

As a Temp I worked in a Porn Magazine company, processing invoices and met a girl there who I'd known since a kid and they were local women. Then you had the Supermodel, Kate Moss, Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford. Were these models showing too much? Is it exploitation like Ring girls or Topless Models? 

Should they get attacked and have strange people sending obscene messages? 

I think personally that more should be done. I also think that it is not just men. I have had girls on  Twitter asking if they can meet me and yet I would post about music, TV I have watched and I did report and not had anything for a while.

So where should we draw the line? 

Please share below. I'd like to hear your views. 

I think that social media sites should instantly get the law involved. I like the fact that there are organisations stopping Hackers, but we also need to crack down on trolling and inappropriate messages. I do think it should be an offence and they should have a system where they are instantly blocked those who trolling, bullying and being obscene online, so they can't access anything.

Summary

• Be on guard 
• Report straight away
• Block 

I hope you find this blog helpful and you can put Parental Controls on sites and change your Privacy settings too.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X