Giving and Accepting Compliments

So today I took my son out for breakfast and gave the Waitress a compliment as she looked really stylish and my husband looked at me as if I was pulling an egg out of my mouth. So is it okay to give compliments and why is so alien to some? 

I feel it is a part of my personality. I do admire other people and mainly women because it is nice to see people make an effort and what I can do to feel better about myself. Also I bought make up and so don't want to tip it away so not everyday, but to mix my days up I will put some on. I have had compliments when working in call centre. I think it is nice and why can't we compliment one another?

It is nice to give myself pleasure and when I first started Vlogging (checkout: (235) Typical London Gal Carrie Holmes - YouTube) I got a complimented about my eye make up. It is good to give a confidence boost. Not for the sake of it, but say that I like their outfit or I work on Epsom Hospital Radio and given compliments to my fellow presenters as they all do a brilliant shows and feel privileged that I get to do a show too and hope people in the hospital listen to it, a long with those who have internet. 

A compliment is just that, A Compliment and always grateful and when people read and like my blogs it is really uplifting. 

So why it alien to others? 

May it is because they not sure if it is or not and don't know what it is. That isn't being viscous but honest feeling I feel when someone can't take or give a compliment and may not have experienced in receiving kindness and also feel, awkward. 

I think it is good to be nice and my son gives compliments and it really makes my heart melt when he does and I know he means it. 

That can also why some people feel awkward when it comes to compliments they don't know what to say back and if someone is actually meaning it.

It doesn't mean not to give any compliment because people find it alien but for that reason because to me I find it can be just gracious and build friendships and means you've given that person your time in complimenting them.

So what is your view in regards to compliments. I'd love to hear your views. You can use he Comments box below.

Many thanks for reading

Carrie X 

 

Feeling Ugly and losing your identity

I feel better these days about how I look and my reflection. I still catch myself when I begin to be critical about myself, but I no longer avoid looking at myself and I accept myself. I will make sure I look after myself, by looking after my skin, my teeth and eat healthy. 

You can be your own worse enemy when you put yourself down and would never say it to anyone else and when becoming a parent you can lose your identity, however much you love your kids. 

It is good to do things just for you at times and that is putting on some make up, going for a alone walk with a coffee, meet up with friends, but just you and just time where you feel better and be able to chat about your insecurities and forget about them, for an hour or two.

It is good to see yourself. The the worst thing is to avoid. For me it was, "Do I want to feel like this for the rest of my life?" I had enough, so I spent time challenging myself. I started to make an effort each day and that helped to build my confidence. 

The first thing was, "What makes me happy?" and "What do I want to change?"

Learning a new skill. I have done courses in Mental Health, Counselling and did football coaching courses and just spent time building my skills and knowledge and did a creative writing course and now doing a BBC Maestro course and I really enjoy learning. 

When you are on your Menstrual Cycle you can feel a little sluggish and out of sorts. Along with Menopause and if you are going through puberty. I found the changes of my body as I went through my teenage years, a shock to me and felt really insecure. I was very conscious of my weight, my teeth and would compare myself. 

Now I have stopped and I do feel better and that is regaining my identity now. I did a lot of self conditioning, like changed my habits. I will look after my body, I now paid of my debts, I read each day and go out a lot and explore and that has helped so well and make the most of my days and keep on growing and focus on what is important to me. This has been a huge turning point. 

So you don't have to feel low about yourself and build a better routine that helps with how you feel, like skincare, reading and Fearne Briton for example, enjoys organising her book shelves and I love doing a bit of tidying and make nice lunches. Mix your days up and do a bit of dancing. My son and I have been watching Strictly now it is back and been dancing. 

Increasing your endorphins can help in so many ways. So give yourself a break and doing different habits and changes can really help you to feel good inside and on the out. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

 

How Much Should You Share- Body Confidence- Online- Messaging and Trolling

I am watching the New Reality Show, The Prince Diaries who is Peter Andre and Katie Price's daughter and she shares a message to her friend, in her show and her dad, about guys on Social Media sending her inappropriate messages and I have had that too, or asked if they can call me and chat to me directly, yet I am not a reality star. Not saying that I disagree with Reality shows, but that even I innocently posting a selfie, too help my confidence, and fully clothed, was getting weird men wanting to hook up. I now block and have become more vigilant about what I post. 

There are two sides of this. That you, 

• Shouldn't be showing others yourself online if you don't want inappropriate messaging. Like those who are sending these messages, have the right to so
• Adding filters to your selfies, is the cause
• Showing images of yourself naked whilst pregnant or a friend I knew from when working at Butlins, showing pictures and writing a message of her daughter that had sadly passed away, is. wrong

I have no judgement on that, the human body is amazing and celebrating peoples lives, of people no longer in the world, to raise awareness and get support from others, is up to the person. I never really worried about my body when I was pregnant, but wouldn't have the confidence to show my body whilst pregnant or at all.

I think as long as you keep yourself safe and you are aware of other peoples views, then it is up to you. 

If you share a picture of a love one, can help others feel they aren't alone and can get help with helping others, then it can be a great asset to post on online. 

Then there is trolling and bullying and it can lead to that. 

My one bit of advice is, make sure your on guard, that if anything comes up, you don't entertain them.

With Princess (Peter Andrea and Katie Price) daughter has always been in the limelight and grown up with cameras in her face, and that can add pressure and insecure. I think about Karen Carpenter and she began to be affected by horrible reports in the News Papers. 

Being in the headlines and living with celebrity parents, people can be extra unkind, when I worked in a call center and helped people through the chat service, could be so much ruder and unkind. I was threatened, called names and told that I should get run over by a train. As a kid I wanted to be famous, but I know now, if I had been from a young age, it would have affected me, in terms of insecurity and damage, a lot more because I already had insecurities. 

I am glad that there was no social media back when I was a child. Yet people were unkind still growing up in the 80's, in newspapers, sporting events and Miss World competitions. There were page three girls, Miss World, Ring Girls and Playboy. 

Then you had String fellows, with Topless dancing and nude modeling. 

As a Temp I worked in a Porn Magazine company, processing invoices and met a girl there who I'd known since a kid and they were local women. Then you had the Supermodel, Kate Moss, Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford. Were these models showing too much? Is it exploitation like Ring girls or Topless Models? 

Should they get attacked and have strange people sending obscene messages? 

I think personally that more should be done. I also think that it is not just men. I have had girls on  Twitter asking if they can meet me and yet I would post about music, TV I have watched and I did report and not had anything for a while.

So where should we draw the line? 

Please share below. I'd like to hear your views. 

I think that social media sites should instantly get the law involved. I like the fact that there are organisations stopping Hackers, but we also need to crack down on trolling and inappropriate messages. I do think it should be an offence and they should have a system where they are instantly blocked those who trolling, bullying and being obscene online, so they can't access anything.

Summary

• Be on guard 
• Report straight away
• Block 

I hope you find this blog helpful and you can put Parental Controls on sites and change your Privacy settings too.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Its okay to be different

There is a saying that "It is okay to be different as the world would be boring". How much of that is true?

It is. As a kid being different was judged if you were gay, of a different colour, small or quiet. I felt different but glad I was. Who wants to be the same as everyone else? Isn't it better to be original?

Madonna is one person I think about. She had her own unique style Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and ABBA, Cyndi Lauper or Boy George. They stood out but was part of why they became big stars and had so many fans who wanted to be original too.

As a child I didn't like my size and a doctor was amazed of my height and told me about going to bed early as it helps with growth. I found that hard to go to bed early as I was a bad sleeper and still unsure if that was true or not. It was as if being a certain height was a real problem, but people are different shapes and sizes. 

It is hard to accept yourself when people see that it is a abnormality but look at the Late Barbara Windsor, Dolly Pardon and Judy Garland. 

I am okay with my height now. Yes I think a lot of people used it to feel bigger than me and I was made fun of but I just let them and moved on. The person who would make fun out of me wasn't exactly tall either and heard her so friends talk about her and turned out that they didn't like her either and was taggling on with them. 

Often the person who is taking the micky are doing it because it makes them feel good, because of their own insecurities and this girl told me she didn't like me and I replied "Good I don't like you either" and was great "I said well I stay out of your way and if you stay out of mine" and it was settled and was glad that I didn't have to pay her much attention. 

I don't mind people making fun out of me as often it was funny, as long as they can take it back. Or aren't sniggering behind your back.

I am not one to upset anybody but if someone is not your fan then there is no need for an argument and means move on and focus on the people who do like you and have your back. In fact this girl at school friends were alright with me, it was just her. 

She was the same with other girls not in her group and was just wanting to pick on someone. I am glad she wasn't a friend of mine. It didn't upset me that she didn't like me, in fact I admired her honesty. I have had those who pretend to like me only to find out they've been talking about me behind your back and it happened when I was working for a national TV Station as a Temp and the girl I was working with was so nice and we would chat, have lunch together, but then I heard her really complaining about me to the managers and I did get fired and realised why they kept having a new assistance, working with this girl because she was not nice. So I went on my Merry way and moved on. 

Often people who are tough on the outside are actually not on the inside and why she was like she was, because she didn't like the job either and moan about them to me and they were all talking behind each others back. 

I don't want to be the same but be me. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Focusing On Our Body Shape

We are all different shape and sizes. It can get us down. I was always giving myself a hard time. I would focus on everything that was wrong with me. I wanted shape but didn't feel I had the shape that a woman was supposed to have and felt like I didn't belong in the Pretty category. I was the ugly duckling. 

After I completed Parkrun

I then at secondary school was told by a girl in my class saying I had a good figure. This was back in Secondary school where we'd dress in a shared changing room. I was unfit, had what is known as puppy fat and suffered with dry skin. I found it hard to tan when on holiday having such fare skin and would burn. 

Since seeing Nigella Lawson who was is fair skinned and curvy made me feel a, and lot better and since then Pamela Anderson who now wears no make up, because it is up to you to decide. I would get upset when I was challenged when it came to me not looking my age, as I looked so young, but then a friend said to me "I know you don't like it now, but when you get to my age" which she was ten years older than me and in her 30's she said "You'll see it as a complement" and she was right. 

There has been controversial subject about should they have ladies who are what some people would consider, were large, modelling clothes and having large size clothes. There was a debate about Dove Advert, which pictured different size women, to help people have body confidence. For me it is about inspiring and being healthy. I am not super skinny or large, but do pay attention to what I consume that has a negative effect. Like seeing people starving themselves to be a different size. I had an eating disorder and then had type 2 diabetes years later and it was my worst fear. That has changed and changed my medication as I have had psychosis, really bad bouts of depression and terrible anxiety, and now feel good. 

I watched Trinny and Suzanna, Gok Wan and Louise Pentland on Youtube and that our bodies are amazing machines that help us to walk, talk, eat, think and see. Not everyone has that and meeting people in disabled homes as one of my Uncles had a stroke, they never allowed themselves to be down. I made friends with girl named Sally and we wrote to each other. We lost touch but she was amazing. 

She wasn't skinny or overweight or was miserable. She was full of light, with the most nicest handwriting I had ever seen and she was full of life.

Now so many who would have been once overlooked and seen as odd are now in TV shows, comedians and successful athletes. Chris McCausland won strictly not because he is a certain shape but because he was good and blue everyone away watching him dance.

Be proud of who you are. If you want to lose weight then fine, but don't allow your insecurities stop you from living and that our bodies are shells that help us to live and I began to set myself challenges, find clothes that suited me and walk and exercise to keep me healthy and watch my blood sugar. That is the utmost importance and not my body shape. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

Worried About Not Being Good Enough

Do you ever feel that you are out of your depth? You continuously criticise yourself and worried about what other people think of you. You need to live by your own means and not someone else's life as people have different things going on in their life and beating yourself up needs to stop. 

As soon as I feel down I take myself away to a different environment or have a bath and do my skincare.

A picture from yesterday doing some writing in a local coffee shop.

I enjoy walking and going on walks up London or locally and have a coffee and do some writing and instantly makes me feel better. 

Going through my days I like to plan, set goals and this morning made pancakes for a change, with a cup of tea, working on my book and do a bit of reading, then did a walk on the treadmill. This was before my son set off to school and just doing things like  that helps me to forget about myself and that I am grateful for having hands, feet and got clothes to wear. 

Having a declutter can help you to feel better. I have been sorting out my bedroom in Epsom and seeing the results makes me concentrate on what is around me that makes me feel good, about not just by my body image, but things that give me joy like having a bed of my own, I will have closet I can hang my clothes on and wearing favourite clothing. 

Listen to feel good music. When I feel down all my life, have played music to help and create playlists and it gives me so much joy. It is good to have songs that say how you feel but make sense, along with writing down thoughts and restore my self belief. 

Reading certain books. I loved Bridget Jones and felt I could have been her, always wanting to lose weight and look for love in our lives, gets her heartbroken, but she realises that she made the wrong choice in terms of romance and then changes her job, realises someone she despises at first likes her, just as he she is and films like Dirty Dancing and that an ordinary girl attracts someone totally opposite to her and teaches her to dance, with a happy ever, ending.

So when having a down day about yourself then decluttering, journaling, reading and watching feel good films can change your thoughts about yourself, along with food. What will make you feel good and not guilty and can still be a comfort to eat. 

We put so much on our plates that we judge ourselves and so appreciate yourself and leave by your own means.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

 

Changing The Way You Feel about yourself

I no longer feel ashamed to be me, when I would look in the mirror thinking "Who the hell are you?" and having total different feelings of how I looked in my head to the image I saw in the mirror and not liking any of who I was. 

It has taken a long time to be comfortable in my own skin and accepting myself, building my life to follow my dreams, concentrating on my health and my wellbeing. 

Having fun with clothes and like to change my style as I get bored, to help and been trying to eat more healthy foods, as I have had battles with my weight which has affected my confidence and being happy about myself and exercise. 

Becoming a mum, I knew I had to change my mindset for him as I wanted him to like his body and bring the best out of him and be confident with himself and when having a child, your body changes and you have to grow up and fast. It changes you whole life and being pregnant can affect you, but the fact that we can carry a child, is something to be proud of and have a vessel that can do that. 

Men can feel bad about themselves, take Pete Burns who was in the band Dead Or Alive and I thought he was super hansom, but it is a personal thing and had an amazing voice, and it is all what's going on, on the inside and I worked with a woman who didn't like her boobs so had a boob job, yet I said to her, if I ever looked like her I'd never feel bad about myself. 

So on the surface it appears that someone is confident, but hide it and suffer in silence. 

The one person who I think about is Karen Carpenter she had Anorexia and started by comments in the press about her size, that it began and she was beautiful and had a voice of an angel but starved herself and she had some much more to give and having it myself I see her and think I don't wanna to die young, which she did and so I educated myself with food and diet and I love food now, not binging but enjoying my meals and still needs work but I want to live for my son and for myself. 

Please talk about it as we can feel alone and you can build your relationship with yourself so you feel good about you and noone can love you more, than how you love yourself. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Its okay to be different in this world

Watching on Prime Video a documentary about the Footballer called, Peter Crouch, it was quite hard to watch, because being a fan of soccer, I criticised him too. 

He had trouble with confidence being so tall and slim, standing out amongst players who weren't seen as different and looked to him, normal height and it also opened to the fact I was the opposite I hated being so small. 

I now see after battling with my self image that it is okay to be different. It is what makes you unique and yes like Peter Crouch he had to work harder to succeed in football, but paid off when he was struggling at Liverpool FC which he joined from Southampton, and played many games not being able to get a goal, until suddenly, as he kept trying, began to score for them and also for England FC too. 

The world can feel so daunting and that everything is stacked against you. When you look different to what we perceive others as normal, when actual fact they can lack confidence too, you can feel like a misfit and not want the world to see you. In fact, those who appear to be normal, may also have confidence issues, and you don't see it because many disguise it and you'd be surprised when it comes to people who appear super confident, but aren't.

I think about those who would give everything to have the perfect body, and have constant cosmetic surgery, like Katie Price, yet to me she was beautiful without all that surgery. On TV she appears super confident but for me she appears to be quite vulnerable often because of judgement of others had been through broken relationships, has a disable son, who has been targeted  by trolls, and part of that was because of what she did for a living, being a page three girl and I would hear guys I work with talking about her in a negative way. 

Just because it appears you have it all, doesn't mean your not human and be called all the names under the sun can take it tolls no matter on how tough you are. I've been called names and doubted by others and it can be hard to hear. Now I am in forties I feel like I am the strongest I've ever felt and had some challenging times, but got to the otherside, and feel good that I was able to get through challenges that came my way and faced life head on. 

So never give up and it is good to be different. Use it to build you, not knock you down. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

Summer holidays 2024

The School Summer holidays 2024 are in full swing and took my son up London and walked to Vauxhall. 

It has been testing as Henry wants to do so much and find it hard to keep up with him and has bags of energy. 

He also loves to eat and made sure I took some snacks with me and had a few coffees by the river and watching the world go by. 

My son Henry wanted to go to the London Aquarium which I felt guilty because I thought he had grown out of visiting Sealife and go for walks outside instead. It is good to go and see so promised we will go and see if we can make it a playdate as it is great to do as a group. 

I going to see if I can get money off when I book it and want to travel by bus as I like bus rides and so used to traveling via London Transport its what I have always known being a Londoner and walking too, my dad who worked in London would walk from Central London home and he used to walk so fast that I would be almost running. 

Tomorrow we are baking and packing up as we are going over to Wimbledon and hope the weather behaves itself so I can read my book in the local parks and go for walks, take a takeaway coffee and just chill. 

I hope I haven't jinxed it. The one place I love too is Battersea and would like to visit Covent Garden as I do love the street acts and there is an indoor market and the London Transport museum. From there you can get to Leicester Square and this leads on to Piccadilly Circus and Oxford street. 

There are a lot of Theatres from Tottenham Court Road and the Strand which is near Covent Garden and then there is Trafalgar Square and St James park,  Hyde Park and love having a coffee near the Serpentine. 

The other places is the Riverside Studios where they have shows and things on has a cafe to have a drink and sit by the river and Barnes is a nice spot too. 

If you wanted to venture out of London then check out Hampton and you can get a boat from Kingston to Hampton and one of my birthdays when I was a kid did that and went around the Thames and visited Hampton court and there is a maze that can entertain your kids with, and be quite competitive. 

The one thing I like is making discoveries of new places to visit, to eat and drink, meet people and love being by the river or water and taking in what is around me. 

So it is good to take a trip and given you ideas of where to go during the holidays and making the most of them.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Testing your confidence

I have been having a real brain fog at the moment and forgetting simple things like I couldn't remember the name of working on radio a title of a Cher song, yet I sing it most days so to help going to do better planning for when I am working on radio. I work for Epsom Hospital radio as a volunteer and so it is important that I plan what I am going to play and say. 

Image of Epsom Racecourse where the Afternoon tea was held 

There is no auto queue and so it is you and the people listening and has really tested my confidence and each Friday before hand I feel I want to cancel but then afterwards I feel such a buzz, and it drives me mad, some people call their inner critic a name to address it. 

For me it is just so frustrating because I don't want to miss opportunities and be energized and not have that feeling of dread, and questions like, "Does anyone care that I am working on radio?", "What if the people listening don't like my voice?" as I had the micky taken out of me when talking front of my class at school and yet when I did drama and dancing I would be fine. 

I went to an afternoon tea on Tuesday and felt awkward not seeing anyone I know at first and then Ian found me and people did make an effort to come to talk to me and wasn't going to go because of my anxiety, and had to take my son to the hospital as he has had a flare up of eczema so wanted to make sure it was checked first as the doctor at my sons GP said it could be due to a burst blood vessel. 

So was looking at the time and trying to be optimistic, but thinking no not going to make it but my husband had finished early so I could go, so already committed myself and so glad I went. 

I am now anxious about this weeks shopping as after it being okay to be told I am not allowed to film in the supermarket we buy from, which was fine but feel like I was upping there clothes and food, to have it fall down on me and now worried about going in there. So waiting for my husband to call me to complete an online order. 

Life can get complicated, which I try to avoid but shit happens and you have to accept that not everyday is going to be as great as the last one but not being super negativity, and have a sense of peace and quiet and not allowing daily stresses to stop you from building your confidence. 

So our confidence can be tested, because of the negative voice in our minds, but doesn't mean we can't walk the plank and get to the otherside of our pessimism and feel good about ourselves and life experiences can make you stronger and resilient when our lives turns that can affect our confidence and feel good about ourselves and our lives. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X  

Feeling Better About Myself and changing my image

Looking in the mirror I no longer give myself a hard time and thankful for the fact that I can see myself, can pick my son up even though he is super heavy and not for long, but embracing it as my son is growing fast. I can walk and breath, and going through what I am grateful for has made a difference and writing down what has made me happy each day. Not about the way I look but other things, like writing a blog and receiving more followers, for walking to my sons school each Thursday at the moment as he does an afterschool club, and takes about an hour and half but don't mind as its a nice route to walk. 

Stables in Ashtead that I walk pass and love it everytime I do this walk from Epsom to Leatherhead

My life is taking a turn and started a new adventure. I am now working on my local Hospital radio and loving it. I do a show on Fridays evenings and has really helped build my confidence, as putting yourself out there can cause fear, but knew that this was made for me and wanted to work on radio since leaving school in 1996, and now its just by chance has happened. 

You have to face your fears and is out of my comfort zone, but if I didn't do this I know I would have missed out and got to seize the day, otherwise you may never get it back, and I hate regrets. I like the fact when I wanted to do something I have done it and I have done it myself. 

Its "Dipping your toes in the water" as I call it and unless you do, you'll never find if something is for you or not and life is full of risks, but ask yourself, listening to Mel Robbins, what if it works out? What if it does happen to be the job of you dreams for example and all your dreams come true?

The solution isn't to sit down and wait. All that does is bring negativity when noone is coming, but taking action. I made a choice do I want to be happy or not? Do I want to be able to get out of bed not feeling anxious? Do I want to continue this feeling of dread? 

Ask yourself those things. Noone wants to sit back, and I was someone who daydreamed whilst listening to music envisioning all day and be someone else, check out blog I wrote: Building Self Confidence- The Ugly Duckling: Wanting to be like somebody else (buildingselfconfidencetud.blogspot.com)

Avoiding mirrors is one trait I developed at one point, and then I made changes like finding a look that suited me, so changed the clothes I was wearing, made the effort and put make up on, and looking after my skin, hair and teeth, and made life changes. I no longer listen to music before bed, having my phone by my bed, I make my bed, journal and go for walks with my son and play sports and not dreading those moments because I had really bad energy levels at one point. So changed my medication, and I still have moments of low energy, but I love walking and looking after my body and feeling proud of it by making changes to my appearance that make me feel good and rejoicing who I am and working towards my future self. Live now, and make changes. Its gonna help you, and if you have advice or want to leave feedback of this blog then please do. You can leave a comment below.

So if something in your life isn't working out for you, it is time to change it, and can help you discover what area your life you are happy with, by writing it down and going through your life to make it one that gives you joy. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Does Size really matter when it comes to health and self image?

Watching the women's rugby 6th Nations, Scotland vs England, I was chatting with my mum and step dad about the size of some of the players. Not disrespecting them, but that if you didn't know that they were rugby players you would think they'd be classed as overweight? And does size really matter?

When it comes to rugby you have to be strong and bulky to play rugby, and this is for men and women. Think about athletes who do the Shock put or Hammer, they are bulky and not because they are over weight, but because they need to be a certain size for strength because of the demand of these sports on the body. 

It all down to lifestyle. If you eat 8 donuts a day then this will effect the body and lead to being unhealthy. It is all about what your body needs and listening to it, and so if you worry about your size then make a list of what you want your lifestyle to look like. 

I am still growing and not always eating super healthy, but I don't believe in depriving yourself. For me it is balance, working on my food habits and gaining control over it again. I have fallen off the wagon, but got back up again and now I do make sure I eat food and vegetables rather than crisps and chocolate. This helps me to feel good about my body and my self. I want to eliminate my feelings I get when eating bad food by choosing food that is nutritious, but will have a take away occasionally, and not binging. 

This has been one of my biggest flours.

Looking after the body is important and being able to accept yourself can take a long time, and noones life is perfect, its what makes you happy and be able to look in the mirror rather than avoid looking at yourself. 

I remember watching Trinny and Susannah and would show how to dress for your size and names of different sizes and this helped me a lot, and that no matter your size you can still be super fit and that it is just a frame, not your total whole being.

So look at yourself and be proud of who you are and there is more to a person than just their size.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

The image you see in the mirror how I have changed my view of myself

It has taken a lot for me to look at myself in the mirror, but since doing Youtube videos and getting my mindset better, I know longer fear the way I look and don't want to be forever punishing myself with those thoughts and love my style and enjoy the clothes I wear and image I see. 

There is more to life than the way we look, and my eating habits not great, so we are working on that, but love exercise and going for walks again, and putting make up on some days helps and practicing self care has helped, by looking after my skin and body, and in turn managing my life as a mum, with my writing I do on my blogs and books, and other projects to support my blog community, who take the time reading my blogs and following me.

First thing never yourself, and do this by going through images of yourself, as when I do this and look at pictures of when I was a kid, and remember having insecurities back then, and there was nothing wrong with me. I looked okay and wished I had realised that at the time.

I no longer fear fitting rooms, if you are new to this site, then I used to hate them, and hate for me is a strong word for me, but really caused me to hate myself and would really give myself a hard time over it. 

Life is too short though and had to change these thoughts and feel good about myself, and now I am comfortable in my own skin. Don't get me wrong the inner critic still speaks but I have learned too shut it down, by saying in my head "No I look fine" and like being real and I do like to wear make up and take care of my appearance but for me it is looking after myself to feel good about myself, like using Skincare products that suit my skin, have good nutrients and minerals in my diet and making the most of each day and learn to be grateful of what I have, not what I don't have. 

I know longer feel like the ugly duckling and not relying on what others think of me, but how I feel about myself, for me and if I feel I look good, then that is okay. 

Don't get me wrong I like compliments and does help with my feelings, but I no longer rely on that and concentrate on how I feel about myself and if something doesn't look right, I change it but no obsessed over it.

So I hope this helps you and please let me know if you too have turned your image of yourself around and want us to help each other. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

 

Dieting, is it a bad word?Are diets healthy?:

For me Dieting meant not eating and starving, but now being a lot older, it to me means Nutrition and eat what my body needs. I do wish to have a flat stomach, but I like my curves and now clothing and that has changed, I do feel a lot more confident and so it is not such a poisonous word to me now, and don't cringe if I hear it.  

Homemade soup my son made and was delicious and was a vegetable soup

I never wanted to be super muscly and this is not offense to those who are, and its just not for me, but want to be toned, but eating and enjoying food, but minimising. Not having huge portions of food, but are nutritious and makes you feel good. 

The one area I am struggling is Lunchtime. So I have began making of planning my lunch to help this, as I am fed up of chocolate and sweet stuff, but have more vegetables and not having too much meat. I like having a yoghurt at breakfast rather than cereal but have a substantial amount of food to give me energy, and I do find I feel fatigue after lunch so more reason to have a better food during the day, rather than biscuits and crisps all the time. 

When I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes I was told which I was surprised about that not to eat too much fruit because it is still sugar and have a certain amount of portions per week and have a leaflet on my wall showing what are good and bad foods, and was surprised that not all vegetarian dishes, like burgers and sausages, are allowed occasionally but glad eggs are best choice if scrambled, poached and boiled, but I do love a fried egg so will occasionally have that. 

It is all about moderation and having food that is enjoyable and nutritious like my step dad makes a homemade chicken and leak dish and it so nice and adds bacon to it too. Okay so doesn't sound like this is healthy but it is and don't have this all the time, but really enjoy it when its on the menu for dinner. 

Homemade food is the best and you know whats in it. I do have two ready meals in the fridge and are Chinese style meals, but again don't have these all the time. If you have the same thing each week it can make you bored and not enjoying it. 

So having a good mixture of food is the way to go and you look forward to it and will continue to eat healthier food. So yes, diet is a good word when you are not starving yourself, but fasting between meals and varying your diet. 

Many thank for reading,

Carrie X 

Can following trends help us to feel good about ourselves and what can effect how we feel

As a kid I was someone who would follow trends, having the current skirt, dungarees and MC Hammer suit and had a pair of Kickers and observing myself, and this is from a video I did about Following trends saying that I don't, but then recently in some new clothes I have purchased realised I do. 

It has been subconsciously as was unaware of this habit but don't buy items just because they are trendy it has to suit me at the same time. I don't dress to feel current but to feel good and enjoy what I wear. I don't mind wearing the same clothes on consecutive days, and putting together looks that I like to see if they suit me or not. If it raises your self esteem then wear it but if it doesn't then fear not, it just not your style and that is okay. 

Following trends can cause a lot of pressure because often we use fashion to fit in, and worry about being different and in the 90's I was very much heavy metal/tom boy, and so you'd see me in DM's with Jodhpurs and long baggy T-Shirt. I would wear Denim on Denim and got into waistcoats and now I do like the oversized clothes look. I do write a fashion blog called Carrie Versatile fashion https://carriesversatilefashion.com/

I have been influenced which knowing about life now being my 40's we all do and that is okay but I do like to be different in what I wear too If we were all the same the world would be a boring place and I do like those who are different and have their own unique style, example: Boy George, Kylie Minogue, Victoria Beckham and my music Icon, Cyndi Lauper. 

Then their is surgery and getting bigger lips, bigger boobs, younger looking skin and permanent make up, and yes I have been thinking about it, as I hated having big boobs and being short and having straight hair. Now though for the first time in my life I have been acceptive and having a heart operation and mental health issues, I like how I look, and that is taken a lot for me to say that. 

Part of me can still be self critical, but having fun in what I wear has helped and I use Pinterest to help me plan my wardrobe. A lot of it is boredom I get sick of seeing the same face, same clothes etc, so I like to change and look different, and so will dye my hair and make sure it is trimmed and easy to wash and dry. I love patterned socks, and wearing baseball caps and hats, and love be able to mix 'n' match.

Clothes aren't what makes us or trends, it is a necessity and so shouldn't dictate but be creative and finding your own style that makes you happy and feel good about ourselves.

So create a good capsule wardrobe can really make a difference and watch trends adding your own style to it. 

Check these boards I have created on Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thetypicalLondongal/yearly-fashion-look-book/

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thetypicalLondongal/fashion-vision-for-2023/

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

 

Being the underdog is there such a thing?

I got the idea of writing this blog watching the Semi finals of the FA cup, Sheffield United vs Manchester City and Manchester United vs Brighton. Whenever I watch these sorts of games I will support the team less likely to win, when actually they have every chance. A lot of the time when it comes to football as there are always surprises and any teams can have a bad day, its anyone's game especially when it comes to cup football as anyone can win it. 

I do have a team I support, please no judgement, it is Chelsea, but I like watching the smaller clubs do well because it can be so much more inspiring because it is, "Well they did it why can't we?" and gives hope and shows that "Football is a funny old game", a quote by the wonderful footballer Jimmy Greaves who is sadly not with any more, but who was a local boy who made his name playing for Tottenham Hotspurs and England. 

Many say that "There is no such thing as an underdog" and I used to believe that but there is and it doesn't mean they don't stand a chance but they have to deliver extra and climb a lot more hurdles to be a success and many clubs like Chelsea, who have had huge success for a long time, have had bad spells, like this season and not always been top high flying club. They have had to rebuild themselves a lot and then we by winning the FA Cup, Winning the Premiership and the Champions League, became one of the big teams.

I remember when Chelsea played Manchester United in the FA Cup final in 1994 and it had been 30 years since we won the FA Cup and because of Manchester United Success was the underdog and we got beat. I was I remember adamant that we'd win but we were over taken but it didn't means we didn't stand a chance, no we gave a good fight but Manchester United were class and became champions and they over took the League and the FA Cup and Europe and so it meant that other clubs especially smaller clubs had to step up otherwise they were defeated. Yet they did get beat by Southampton 6-1 and I remember listening to the game on the radio with my dad and we thought when they gave out the score thought they had made a mistake but no Southampton took over and shows that don't worry if you are the underdog you can still make a difference and become champions. 

If you show up and have self belief you can overcome the underdog status and make it big.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

Improve your habits to improve your life

I think good habits go a long way. They can boost your energy and your confidence which leads to good wellbeing.  

There have been many struggles in my life that I have documented through blogs and youtube videos, but I have always got back on my feet. Having a good routine of good habits has helped, for example I no longe4rspend the whole day in bed. I like to get up and kick start my day.

I wrote a blog on my site: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com How to start the day and end it and this blog is about how to Improve your habits to improve your life as I have improved my habits a lot and they really help with my mood and how I feel about each day.

There was a time I would skip breakfast and when working at a holiday camp I wouldn't eat anything until after my first shift that could end by lunchtime and would over eat. So now I make sure I have breakfast and vary what I have. 

It is also about what you consume, and I can over do it with Youtube so I take a break and get outdoors whenever I can. Today as I write this blog I decided to stay in and be outdoors when taking my son to a half term holiday club called Youngstars and pick him up. 

However I do like to get outside and is a habit that is good for my body and mind, and looking forward to the summer when I can read my book on a local park and enjoy working and spending time in a coffee shop, not all the time but now and then just to get outside and be around other people. 

I am not a fan of drinking water all of the time, so I make it an evening habit to have a glass when taking my last medication of the evening, and I know there will be people saying no you should do this in the morning and I will tomorrow when I go for my run, but will drink water instead of a hot drink for the evening that helps keep me hydrated from night time to morning, and hydrate with a cup of tea and a few coffees. 

Running has been a habit I began after two year break and has made a difference since starting again it helps wake me up and is my me time and warm up the body and costs me nothing to do. I like to run around our local gardens and parks and do an indoor workout in the week along with walking. 

It is all about getting yourself into a good mindset and a reason to get up in the morning and use up your energy to have a goods night sleep.

So start changing your habits and honestly you won't look back.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Typical London Gal 

Life is about living and not just trying to do everything

The writing of this blog was inspired by watching Sarra Cannon on Youtube on her Live chat Friday. and talking about her recent trip to Disney and thinking we have to be better than what we are. 

I write about all that, and life is about growing but also getting to know who we really are and it took me a long time to accept myself, but I like building, that's why my word for this year is BUILD and never really had a word only this year because I like making things grow. 

Life is to be enjoyed and not following a strict routine all of the time, and living it. Watching the Apprentice which all about creating a business to impress Alan Sugar, who will invest into one of the candidates businesses, if you notice that when they get through to the house that they are still human at the end of the day, and they have to be the better business person when they have a task, but can still be friends and I like it when like in Bake Off they cheer each other on. 

It can have reverse effect, like one of the candidates on the apprentice, who didn't continue and that is okay. STOP PUTTING PRESSURE ON YOURSELF if it is not for you, do what is true to you and often we have to take risks but also be true to ourselves and if the outcome was not good, that is fine, its all about learning and dipping your toe in the water. 

This doesn't mean you aren't good enough, you just want to take a different path to find what is for you. 

I was not well on Wednesday through to Thursday and spend the time in bed, as my tummy didn't feel right and I had a terrible headache and today I felt fine, but took a bit easier this morning and once I had a cup of tea I was fine and started my day. Okay so I didn't do my walk as planned but if you are not well exercising can have a reverse affect and it's important to rest, and will use the rest of my week to walk and still got most of what I planned so far this week, so feel good in that and now we are at the weekend can chill and spend time with my son to have fun and then start again on Monday. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Typical London Gal 

Not all about make up but looking after your body and listening to it.

When there are so many people showing their capabilities online it can make us feel insecure because I have often asked "Why do they look like that?" and "Why don't look like that?". 

Comparing is a habit, and I have to catch myself, and remember that they would have spent time with someone dong make up and with stylists, especially for TV interviews and I can look that when I make the effort. 

I like to have days where I don't wear make up and like being casual and I do wear it depend on the day and where I am going. 

Like Wednesday I am up London to celebrate my step sister's birthday and so will make myself more presentable, and I like allowing my skin to breath.  

Beauty is skin deep, and learning about your body can important as I am not able to wear make up all of the time as my skin can react when I do, and thinking of putting some on now writing this post. I like a doing a look which takes no time at all and just wakes me up a bit, and so I will film the latest make up I use and also do plan to sort out my make up and my toiletries in another reset video, and check this new Reset video of me tidying my desk to motivate, https://youtu.be/ZJiP0hDwLks

The other thing to help me is sorting out my wardrobe each Sunday and weekend ready for the week and wearing what I have and not buying anything new, because I have plenty of clothes and outfits to wear. 

There are still items I haven't worn yet and so this is ensuring that I do and going to do as part of my next reset is sort my clothes out int the chest of draws I have in the closet I use for storing some of my clothes, and I use my wardrobe in my bedroom as my weekly clothes that I want to wear for the week and I do wear the same clothes on consecutive days. They do get washed and I do change my underwear but if the clothes aren't dirty and can be worn on numerous days before washing them then I do and having this control, really helps how I feel about myself and its not all about wearing make up, but what makes you feel good. I have debts to pay and need to focus on that and making sure that I use up my skincare products and toiletries. I do like to invest in good creams and toiletries but again, controlling this as I don't need eight moisturisers, or scrubs or sponges. I would like to invest in buying some flannels, because I do like to when I wear make up, is use hot water and a flannel. I do use Micellar Nivea to help remove make up, but once this is used, as I hate waste and am conscious of landfill use it up and it is good on the skin, but can get buy with a flannel and hot water. 

It is all about moderation. I am also working on my diet, as this can have an affect when I eat bad foods, and my appetite has changed, and don't need a lot for breakfast, but just enough so it feeds my hunger and get good benefits at the same time. This morning I had a yogurt and banana. I have bought some pancakes and so would like these with some grapes or strawberries with a small amount of honey or maple syrup so it helps with my sweet tooth. 

I want to feed my body and I do eat vegetables a lot now and I have cut back on eating meet a lot. I love meat but like non meat products too. I am all for vegan and gluten free foods, but some items aren't that much better and on biscuits they go stale very quickly so it is finding what suits my body and is going to help limit waste. 

I'd love to hear from you, what changes you going to make to help build your confidence. Please leave a comment below. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Typical London Gal  

 

Rebuilding your confidence

It has taken me a long time to feel fully confident within myself and I still have days where I like "Oh its you again". Not as often though and today I was feeling super anxious so I got my exercise mat and did a bit of Pilates with some Yoga and feels good to just workout but at a slower pace. 

I feeling the slump, and doing all I can to get myself out of it and I just want to hibernate, and super fatigued. Yet I have just uploaded a new video. It is of my total reset I did in my bedroom and boy did this make a difference. Check out via this link: https://youtu.be/udenyPsPZD0

Its been a battle through out my life and so to manage it, exercise and set challenges for myself that helps me feel good and seeing what I can do and make an effort and found my style and what I love to wear and acknowledge myself and see that "There is nothing wrong with me". 

As a kid other people perception of me would influence my feelings, because I believed that everyone around me was better than me. I would think "Why can't I do that?", and have "shiny hair", "How come they can make friends and no me?" and I begged to fit in, yet often felt I was different to them and I would never feel good about myself. 

Now though I have retuned my thoughts and now being 44 years old, see things different and never allow the influence of others knock my confidence and whenever I have felt unworthy focussed on what will help me and seeing that I can have shiny hair, I just need to look after it and this will help my feelings I feel inside. 

It is the little things like that, that can make a difference. It's not about having the perfect picture, but being healthy and being kind to yourself and making an effort each day. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Typical London Gal 

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