Embrace Your Life and Yourself

There was a time I hated my style. Looking in my wardrobe I felt I had nothing to wear and found it hard to get out of bed. I wouldn't bath because we'd have to wait for the water to heat up and didn't have a shower back then.

One of the places I like to walk a local park in Epsom and looking at the flowers

I was looking at myself whilst out recently and I really loved my style. 

There are times I do still question what I look like and compare. 

Since working on my mindset I will instantly snap myself out of it. I make an effort and do my skincare, I will brush my hair and make sure I brush my teeth. It is that simple. 

I like putting outfits together and buying less. I like good practical but nice looking footwear. I do wear make up and have a quick routine but have no make up days but still moisturise and love facial sprays.

For me they are like a wake up tonic for my face.

I am making changes with my shopping habit, by no o longer investing in cheap clothes from amazon. I have found that they often are made quite badly and buy from the Highstreet again or charity shops. I focus on longevity and condition. 

I do stay active and walk everyday and do weights. In the summer I like to go swimming and playing sports with my son and it mentally stimulates my mind and body and worked on a good bedtime routine and that has made a huge difference on how I feel about myself and not feeling good about myself was draining. 

So in a journal write about your feelings. I have never enjoyed journaling so much than a do now and has really been helpful and what I want my ambitions are. I am having so much fun these days and I make sure when I rest I rest and have some social interaction, enjoy my home and organising the house.

I like to walk around where there is nature and go for a coffee and just having that time not rushing, being outdoors and love a pond, lake or river. 

I love that I have legs that can walk, I can see and hear what is around me and just thankful of what I have and not what I don't and what I like about myself and my life. 

It isn't about doing 5 mile walks but just for 10 to 30 minutes a day. 

It has made such a difference. 

So embrace yourself and your life and something not working then journal and go through why. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Decluttering Isn't all about Physical items but decluttering your mind too

When we think of declutter we think of physical things. It is also the mind and physical decluttering can help but this can have a negative effect too. It can feel lonely and want to ask for help but we are afraid to.

So you need to decide what is going to make you mentally charged. Do we ignore our mental state or should we take action to feel good in how you feel about yourself. If things are too much where can you go that will help and if there anyone who you can chat to? 

Are you finding that you hate what is around you? Are you in a volatile relationships? Physical declutter won't help but jotting down your negative thoughts about yourself will and that something needs to change by getting out of bad relationships will and knowing where and who can you turn to. I remember someone saying "You know who your friends are when you are down and not having a good time".

Christmas can be hard because of the expense and the loss of others. It felt strange the first Christmas without my nan as Christmas was always so enjoyable and my dad not being around now.

I like the Christmas again as I still have traditions, but new ones as and I know they wouldn't, my nan and my dad to feel sad and I want my son to enjoy it and now I feel this release of "Its okay".

I have found that it is good to go for a walk, journal and all those things people advise but also a nice meal, a good book to read and switching off from my laptop and phone. Playing music. I love creating playlists and now I work on radio this has really been a real revelation and that dreams can come true and that has helped declutter my mind. It is good to have things take your mind away from your troubles and redressing your thoughts as clutter in the mind can knock us down. 

Its not being selfish to have time for yourself. It in fact more important because if we can't function mentally how are we going to help our kids and family and friends. You need to focus on you sometimes and have joy in your life and so clear mentally then physically.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Body Confidence and look after your health

To build our confidence we have to help ourselves to become healthy, and make you happy. Giving your self some time to look after your skin and haircare. I like to treat myself to nice shower gels and perfumes but don't over do it, just the amount that makes me feel good about myself. 

Take supplements. I take Garlic, Vitamin D, Iron and multivitamin, because I kept feeling fatigue and I also take legal prescribed medication, for my mental health, but taking supplements can still help and make a different to what you need. 

Look after your skin. I love Skincare as I have suffered with heat rashes, heat lumps and dry peeling skin and can make me really self conscious, so I will take my make up off in the evening, as I would often leave it on, I don't wear make up everyday, because I like to allow my skin to breath, and so I don't wear make up everyday. I do use face creams, washes, scrubs and show gels, and night creams. 

I look after my hair and don't wash it everyday, but keep my hair hydrated by using refresher sprays and serums, and blow dry my hair after every wash. It has made a difference as in the summer I can get itchy flaky sculp so I take hair of that, as I love my hair. 

Doing these things along with healthy food, can make a huge difference. 

I am still doing a Life Coaching Programme "The Summer Project 2022", and so check out my main Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg and my website, https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com    

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Typical London Gal 

Lose confidents in yourself when there is nowhere to go/how to still see people during the winter days

Hello and welcome to a new blog! Today's blog is about lose confidents in yourself when there is nowhere to go. 

This was me in the Spring where it was Lockdown and I was desperate to get outside but because of Lockdown, and felt a feeling of "Where can I go?" and I stayed in. I have a heart condition and that was why I was keeping myself indoors and safe.

When there is nowhere go to you can feel stuck and depressed, so if there is another lockdown I am still going to pop out and go for walks and visit any store that is open just to browse and to see new faces and places. 

I am still going to make sure that this Christmas is better than last year and say good morning to people if they say it to you, and you can still have playdates or meet ups you just have to keep your distance and why not take some hot chocolate in a flask to share with your kids and fellow parents, and going to use the time to exercise and still go for my walk on Christmas day which I love to do, and take my son out to play football or on his bike or scooter, and get outdoors. 

Getting in touch with nature always makes a different to me and watching the birds and Squirrels running around and if Bocketts Farm is open this year this is great to see some animals and even some raindeer, and pehaps Santa Claus. 

If you don't have family near you then make the most of the internet and other luxuries, and why not have a movie night with a few people around if you live on your own and do have friends and family close by. 

So lets not allow any lockdown to stop us from enjoying our lives.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

 

Finding your confidence through the Winter and Autumn months

When it begins to get dark early I find it can effect your mood and feel that you don't to be up when it is dark and when it gets dark early it can feel like there is not enough time in the day, and I hated when working in London, it would be dark when you began your work and then dark when I would be going home.

Seeing the sun does lift me from my lack of confidence I still have this time of the year. I am starting to appreciate myself visually now, but it has taken a long time, and I would suffer with SAD sometimes and feel bleak around this time of the year. 

I am getting better on this, because I have had to do a lot of work of building my confidence up. It has progressed from being a child, to teenage years throughout adulthood. 

It often is the stress of the school run, when it is wet and rainy. I wish I could hybernate some days and getting up when it is cold tough and I hate it when it begins to get icy. 

The weather can have an influence of how you feel, and so it is good when you see the sun, get outdoors and enjoy it.

In England, you never know when the days will start to be colder and bleak and so Vitamin D is vital, and I love exploring whenever I can during the Autumn and Winter, and going to different places and can be nice to venture out, even when it is raining and chilly, and it all about wrapping up and just make the most of the good things about it, like treating myself to a hot chocolate or a coffee walking around London's national parks. 

The activities can make you burst with confidence as it helps with mindfulness and time to reflect and for me helps with my creativity and not become bored and lonely. Having good feelings about this time of the year as I write this blog on Halloween 2021, stops me feeling down about myself and focus on the good things in life. 

So how do you feel this time of the year? Do you suffer with SAD which can effect your confidence. 

You can leave a comment below. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

  

Life is yours so live it/Be your own date

Hello and welcome! I have been doing a 30 day challenge to write a blog a day for one of my Wordpress posts and today was the final day of that challenge and so if you want to read them then go to:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com 

In this blog post I am writing about Life is yours so live it and Be your own date.

So, tomorrow I am taking myself out and going to do a few errands and filming tomorrow for a couple of vlogs and then scheduling some Youtube videos for the week ahead and scheduling some blogs and work on my books.

I like having a whole day to do what I want and being the first week of the UK School summer holidays it is well needed. 

It also means tonight I don't have go to bed early and stay up a bit longer as I am looking after my son all week so it is good to have a free day and I am also gonna fit in a home workout and do more walking to up my steps again. 

With a child of 7 this is not always easy so when I can I use the days I have free to have "Me Time" and so pick a day with no kids and explore and I may even read my book if not raining out too or may have a coffee in a coffee shop and do a bit of work out doors for a change too. 

Life is about enjoying life, and errands don't have to be boring, so have a date with yourself and enjoy.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

5 Ways to build confidence throughout the year

Even though we have been restricted of what we can do with ourselves it is still possible to build your confidence including dealing with setbacks still and to do that go through everything and start to deciding, What do I want out of today? The same thing each time or to do something different for a change. 

Here are 5 ways to build confidence throughout the year:

1. If you haven't ventured out yet but going to now why not book a restaurant to eat out and choose something that you wouldn't have if at home. I used to be very boring when it came to eating out. I was a real fussy eater but I have now come over that and eat more foods and for example I love eating duck and having scampi and chips. There is nothing worse than a boring diet so I go with if I am hungry I will eat now what like making it healthy like adding salad or a vegetable without a fuss. 

2. You don't have to be a famous person to reinvent yourselves. This is great to do as it helps to reset as a lot call it and time to get hair changed, clear out and go through your wardrobe to see if there are items not worn and if not and you fall in love again with the item then change it up a bit. like adding different buttons on it and up cycle your wardrobe.

3. Set yourself a challenge. I in May was doing 21 week challenges and in that time wrote a lot of EBooks available on Amazon and there are loads under my name Carrie Holmes, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Challoner. It is good to have these challenges as they make you see how much you can do, but focusing on one thing at a time break up the days and the weeks

4. Have a coffee routine. I was never a coffee drinker until I got older and it was in my 30's that all changed and love my three coffees a day two hot and one Iced and I looking forward to having them everyday.

5. Go for a bus ride. Now we are almost out of Locdown I love using my Qyster Card riding on several buses and go for a walk up London. I get such a buzz from doing this that I have to at least once a month travel up to London to get a bit of sunshine and exercise down and then may have a coffee in a park or have a bit of retail therapy as a reward. I find I walk more up London than locally and it just makes a nice change. I find it really gives me an energy that is undescribeable and crave it almost. 

So hope this blog helps you, thank you for viewing my blogs and remember to like if you would like to read more of mt blogs on this site. 

I have written a new book called Mum&Me available on: amazon.com

https://www.amazon.com/Mum-Me-Gucci-Tits-Queens-ebook/dp/B096ZPLGR9/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&qid=1624708745&refinements=p_27%3ACarrie+Holmes&s=books&sr=1-3

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

Key areas in your life you can learn from/How to get over the mistakes we have made

Life is full of mistakes and it can be that we have chosen the wrong person to talk to, because they may have passed judgement and told other people, when you told them in good faith, being a friend. We all make mistakes, but how you learn from them is different. 

You find yourself over analysing every situation of how it could have been, how it wasn't what you thought. Example jobs that look fantastic on paper, but then you realise "This job is not meant for me".

So you go back out there into the working world, finding a good mindset to do something different which is working within an industry you wanna work in. 

I have had many jobs, and used to do Temping work, which really helped tied me over until I found work at a Holiday camp, which is something I have wanted to do since a kid. It was a totally different world, but was a good choice because he bought the happy go lucky girl back and it was like working and having a holiday at the sametime. 

That is key area in my life that has helped made me who I am today. I felt fulfilled when I worked there, yet I did still have bad days, but it was good to go out there to see what it was like. I did get homestick at one point but stuck with it. This is another Key area in my life that has helped to the next job I took. 

Key areas are those in your life that gives you a reason for being here, and it is finding out who you are. Getting away from my life as i knew it before working a holiday camp, was perfect timing. I loved being able to watch a show for free, and would help in other venues for guests clearing glasses and wiping tables.

The hours can be long, and Christmas time was the one for me, as we would recruit via other camps and were some of the things that has helped me come out of my shell and socialise with other stuff aswell being a member of the audience too.

So lets enjoy our freedom at last and see you in another blog on this site soon.

Manu thanks for reading,

Carrie X

The Word Confident/How you can get instant confidence/Making it Simple

When I was doing a home study course in fitness and nutrition, it read in a the book I was studying from that if there was a pill that can give you instant fitness it would be sold out in a second, and the same for confidence, but honestly it is simple we just like I have made it harder for myself. 

Getting fit is how I did it, I just decided I would start to do running and do home fitness, then I moved into using the gym and then I did other forms like Military fitness and that is one method. 

The second one is have a day where you wear something different to other days, like a dress and some make up for a change, and have your hair done. Now lockdown as started to shift, itis now possible to get our head done, and yes I will be one of those, getting mine done. I am desperate to dye my hair and have it cut. 

With confidence it can be how you go about your day. Forget To do lists for a bit of time and go through the itens you have put down, does any of it include you? If not include things for yourrself. It is important we all give ourselves time to get things done for us, not just for everyone else. 

I really want to find a good gym where I can do boxing training, as it is a great way to destress and so I hope to be in a new home that is being sorted out for me and find somewhere I can do some boxing, pilates and a dancersize workout. I know I have mentioned this above but, stress can also effect our confidence as when we feel we haven't accomplished everything we said we'd accomplish each day we can feel like we have let ourselves and other people down. So find something that eases that stress and don't give yourself too much to do.

When it comes to confidence you need to make sure that you are feel good alround and having a bath once a week can make all the difference. Or twice a month especially if you have kids, and showers are quick in that you not having to wait for the bath tub to fill up and be at the temputrature you want. 

Clean and area of your home. This doesn't have to be everyday but set a day or a time in the week to just do a clean on one area at a time. I wrote a blog about how dropping some powdered milkshake was a sign that "not to put it off and clean my desk" so I did. I have written an EBook about Change on thing a day see below:

What you want to do is take the stressors away and not allowed them to build, and just adding one item to clean in the week can help the mood. I am not a fan of cleaning but I do like the ending result. It has been a game changer, and you'll be surprised how a spray of polish can make all the difference to your home, along with a scented candle.

This comes to the last thing, Treat Yourself, buy a scented candle of your favourite scent, create a dsiplay on windowsill, but not too much in case of a fire and it is the only escape route, and on shelves and on worktops. 

I hope you are having a good Sunday and have a good week ahead too. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

How to Jet Set Your Life to A Better Confidence

Hello and A Happy New Year! It is 2021, and time to start a fresh. I am so glad to see the back of 2020 and be ready for a new year. 

In this blog I am going to give tips on How to Jet Set Your Life to a Better Confidence. 

The thing you need to do is to write 3 things you wish to change and then create little steps that will lead to the ultimate goal. 

Example: I want to get back into my fitness, so I did a workout indoors yesterday and today I am going to go for another walk outdoors, and then tomorrow do another home workout, and then rest on Monday.

If you can find a song that gives you that boost of "Yeah I can change my life around" then play it. I was just told off for singing, but am I taking any notice? No. I just played the song by Paloma Faith called "I've Gotta Be Me" and have they come back up to say anything? No. 

Please see below Paloma's song:

If you wish to choose your own then go ahead. I also would advise to find a positive quote, and take a photo and frame it,or print it and then put it somewhere, where you can easily see it. 

This sounds to be right up my street today, and so I am going to add this to my vision board and my Life Coaching Tools board on Pinterest. 

https://ro.pinterest.com/carriesblognetwork/life-coaching-tools/

https://ro.pinterest.com/carriesblognetwork/my-vision-and-goals-for-2021/

I wrote a blog on my site Everyone Can Build A Castle about Developing a new story of your life, and if you want to stop feeling so bad about yourself, developing a different mindset to your life is the key to making such a change. See link below to this blog:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/12/31/kick-start-your-year-by-developing-a-new-story-of-your-life/

We can feel so sluggish this time of the year, of the weight we can add after Christmas, and when I was on the contraceptive pill I had ballooned in weight. This was some years back now, but I remember being told by someone close to me that I had gained weight, and even though they may have thought they were helping me by doing that, it did not.

I felt very unhuman and that I wasn't worthy of being happy with myself because I had put on a load of weight. 

In the end I came off the Pill and the weight dropped off of me. I would say to anyone who wants to be truthful to someone they know, that never make an issue over someones weight as it can lead to an eating dissorder and can torment that person for life, and it is about being healthy not super skinny. 

This is where I would ask you to write 3 things that makes you happy with your life and yourself and you can either write these down or type them and again put it somewhere so you can see it, and then remind yourself of these three things. 

Then I want you to write a letter to your younger self. Check out my Blog post where I have done this:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/12/24/how-you-would-like-to-be-remembered-writing-to-your-younger-self/

We are never going to be remembered for how good we are at putting make up on, how we did our hair or how we organized our homes, but of who we are and if we were kind or not. So sit down and write a sentence that you would like to be remembered by. 

Building Confidence comes with looking deep inside you and what triggers you to feel bad about yourself. 

Life is about living, being happy and having a purpose, so live but don't just exist.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie (L.M) X

Having Christmas Blues, how to deal with them and still seeing friends and family through another Lockdown

Hello and welcome! I really hope you had a good Chrismas, it is Boxing Day which is one of my Nans, my Nanny Rose birthday today, and this time 40 years ago we would go around to her flat she shared with my Grandad Jack to celebrate it and have Christmas Dinner there.

It is today or the day after where we can get the Christmas Blues, because all that planning and preparation makes us excited and then, its like a blink of an eye and gone until the following year.

I always got the Christmas Blues and I often suffered with SAD in winter time, which is Seasonal Affective Disorder, but it didn't have a name when I was a kid and just thought I had the hump because it meant going indoors earlier than the summer and going to bed early.

If you do suffer with SAD then you can get a Lumie Lamp which helps you wake up naturally during the winter and can make a difference. I was given one free when I worked for a manufacturer who made these, but I gave it away. I would buy one of these for the Winter time as it they can do wonders as I find this time of year your body clock can be all over the place.

Having Christmas blues is normal and can effect your confidence in the fact you feel you have nothing more to look forward. Being in Lockdown it is difficult to know what to do, but there are plenty of things. You can still see friends but limit it at the moment, and have some of your girl friends and have pamper evening where you watch a chick flick, paint each other nails and have a hair cut or dyed if someone there can cut hair and colour it for you.

Being in Lockdown does not mean we can't still have a life. The Queen god bless her is still going to celebrate with her family and I hope that I get to one day meet her Royal Highness again, as it has been a long time since I used to see her at Bolton Gardens with her sister Margarette as they were very close and always like a twosome. Where the Queen went so did Margarette. Plus the Queen Mother who was so down to earth you sometimes forgot she was the Queen mum. 

The other thing you can do is meet someone in the park, as a few are still open or just go for leisurely stroll around your home town as there will still be supermarkets open and just having a short catch up with them can do us wonders. We as people need socialising so you can still do it, even using Zoom or Face time, just being able to interact with people still, is so good for our wellbeing and should not allow Lockdown to stop us. 

I hope, like many that the Lockdown shifts soon so we can have some normality again and have a huge amount of people in one place again, as I an dying to see a Football match again. It has been a hard year and can't wait to see the back of it. 

I have a new love in my life that has helped me through this year and family that I have seen on the TV but forgot that I had met them years ago, and have seen my go from a complete state to someone who fought tooth and nail some days and still here to tell the tale of my last year's nightmare. 

Christmas should not be about you fighting for your life but about enjoying the people celebrating with you and taking in the day. I want my son and daughter, one day to have good memories like I did of Christmas time. That should not be taken away from them, and have them open more presents after Christnas too, so it is not over for them to quickly. 

So I hope you all have a good Boxing Day and I will see you in next weeks post where we will be in a new year. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie (L.M) X

So