Be Proud Of Yourself and stop resentment

Take a pen and paper. Write down how you feel about yourself right now?

Go through your achievements and the people in your life, work, family and just reflect and what do you want to take from this?

There was a time where I felt I hadn't accomplished anything. I daydreamed continuously, of having completely different life. Being someone else and that there is always going to be someone better than me. 

Last night I listened to a new presenter on the hospital radio I work on now, do her show and it was so good but triggered my insecurity and could feel it rising and I felt a grudge. Why? Does she care? 

I feel that I have often seen life as a competition but all that does, is make me beat myself up even more.

Yet it also inspired me. The importance is to create entertainment for people in the hospital and outside and we all, do our own thing and made me see how important it is to me, that I have good feelings towards like minded people and not feel threatened.

Would she resent me? How would that make me feel?

Can I even ask that question because she has no idea that I feel pressure from her show and that she is there for the same reason I am, so why feel resentment when we do the same job? 

From experience it is my problem not hers and. 

Do I want to see her fail? 

mess up and quit? 

Or actually use it to learn instead?

The one thing I need to stop doing is being super nervous about doing my show and proud that I actually used my ambition to work on radio and used my own initiative to apply to work on the radio, a job I had always dreamed about and to make new friends and not feel any negative feelings.

She should feel proud of herself, being that she is new too, no matter how it makes me feel and that I do as a good job as she did and learning. 

I want to be the best that I can be, but I need to not being so self scented. I made it about me and not that she is trying to deliver a show to override mine, she's just doing what I do, but feel proud that I have been doing a good show too and that we all work on hospital radio, to grow the station and that the shows we do, are enjoyed.

I enjoy it, so have to remind myself of that. I love the fact that I am in control of it and have fun with it too. I feel proud that I know a lot of music, that it is step to having a career I love and work on my own feelings and thoughts. 

Feel good for others. Someone I heard in a podcast with Boy George and he said "Do I want people to see me as rude and unkind?" I know what I will choose as I hate having bad feelings and not a jealous angry person who resents others, but respectful and want to see other achieve their dreams and why I write these blogs and please share if you have any thoughts on this blog.

You can put a comment below and subscribe or follow if you like to read more. It is free to do so.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Work Confidence how to build it so you are always confident in what you do

When something goes wrong with work it can knock our confidence. Like falling out with co-workers and their being tension in the air that you couldn't cut it with a knife. You can move on from that and if it really makes you unhappy and dread everyday then it is your mind telling you, you need to change and look for another job. 

With the jobs I have had I have taken them as they came and took it in my stride and hast helped me with confidence. I have tried different professions and the ones that stand out for me, was working in a football club when I left school, and wrote a newsletter with one of my friends for the rugby supporters of a club I fell in love with and then Butlins. 

Go through your highlights so what has been good about the job and what hasn't and perhaps it may be the department you are in doesn't suit you and when I was having a hard tine at Butlins working Front of house and then spoke to the Manager and worked Back of house for a bit, and it did make me feel better and then I would work in other parts of the camp too, which helped me continue on. 

It is good to try the different jobs to find the one that matches and would say that Temping was good thing due to the amount of companies I worked for and once that was over, I would then move to the next one. 

If the company to courses you can do and is free, take advantage I was doing an NVQ in Food Safety, but I saw that I didn't want to work of that department any more. I wanted to be a Red Coat that was the reason I wanted to work within a holiday camp, I did a NVQ in Customer Service when I worked in a contact centre and anything like that is worth doing.

I also did pass my Intermediate Food Safety and Hygiene when working for a Holiday Camp and now I can work in cooking and restaurants for this, and if you like cookery then this is a good course to do. 

Take every situation and lesson to help you achieve more and sit down to go over what changes you wish to make and the pros and cons for working in a industry and find out if it is for you, if not sit down and go through what would make you happy and how can you over come the challenges of work, depending the job and can you grow independently and if you need help find a Mentor that can help and a lot of is learning on the job.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

3x tips on having a High Expectation of ourselves/over estimating/putting too much pressure on ourselves

We can be so self critical at times that we put too much of a high expectation on ourselves that we over estimate of what we can do, that we think we have to carry so much on our shoulders. 

Here are 3 tips on how to stop too of a high expectation:

Tip#1: Rein yourself in and ask yourself, can I break down the expectations I have for myself?

I often have to do this, and see that I can't do it all, however much I try.

Its not even about doing it all, but setting a daily goal of what you like to and what you have to do.

Tip#2: When you have errands that you don't really enjoy but got to do them, set 5 minutes or 10 to get it done, and then go back to the things you want to to do.  

This helps break up your day up and control your expectation of yourself.

Tip#3: Listen to your mind and what it wants and the body too. If you craving social interaction, then set a date to see friends again. That is the thing with Lockdown not seeing people who are important in your life can be hard, but now we can make that time again, and even go for a drink in the afternoon in a pub.

Our bodies want different things, so listen to it and ease your craving and get outdoors with the sunshine so you can a bit of Vitamin D and make sure you protect yourself from the sun, but I have been going out early before it gets too hot during the day.

I really hope these blogs help you and see in soon,

Carrie X 

Key areas in your life you can learn from/How to get over the mistakes we have made

Life is full of mistakes and it can be that we have chosen the wrong person to talk to, because they may have passed judgement and told other people, when you told them in good faith, being a friend. We all make mistakes, but how you learn from them is different. 

You find yourself over analysing every situation of how it could have been, how it wasn't what you thought. Example jobs that look fantastic on paper, but then you realise "This job is not meant for me".

So you go back out there into the working world, finding a good mindset to do something different which is working within an industry you wanna work in. 

I have had many jobs, and used to do Temping work, which really helped tied me over until I found work at a Holiday camp, which is something I have wanted to do since a kid. It was a totally different world, but was a good choice because he bought the happy go lucky girl back and it was like working and having a holiday at the sametime. 

That is key area in my life that has helped made me who I am today. I felt fulfilled when I worked there, yet I did still have bad days, but it was good to go out there to see what it was like. I did get homestick at one point but stuck with it. This is another Key area in my life that has helped to the next job I took. 

Key areas are those in your life that gives you a reason for being here, and it is finding out who you are. Getting away from my life as i knew it before working a holiday camp, was perfect timing. I loved being able to watch a show for free, and would help in other venues for guests clearing glasses and wiping tables.

The hours can be long, and Christmas time was the one for me, as we would recruit via other camps and were some of the things that has helped me come out of my shell and socialise with other stuff aswell being a member of the audience too.

So lets enjoy our freedom at last and see you in another blog on this site soon.

Manu thanks for reading,

Carrie X

New Begnnings and challenges

Hello and weleome! So since I wrote this blog post so much has changed so I wanted to update you all. I have had new beginnings in that I am now in a new relationship, some of my friendships have changed and my working life has changed.

This blog post in sponsored by the #mentalhealth organisation Mind.org who help and support Mental Health. 

It is so good to have a fresh start and for me this is what this year has all been about. Now I am doing a programme called "Project 2021", which is a Life Coaching programme, fall of tools and information to help you have a better year and a better life.

I never thought I'd say the next sentence, and that is "I am loving life" not the environment I am in, as this is on the cards to change, but in terms of work and being in a finally a Very Much in Love relationship, and as Donna Summer sang "This Time I know Its for real". 

In terms of challenges I have started new habits, I get up early like I have now to start work, I am creating new EBooks everyday, and so look under the name Carrie L.M or Carrie Lee Holmes, I am starting to bet back into fitness, and I am writing more songs. I am so looking forward to my fresh start and the other items and opportunities that are coming my way and really think that often you have to take on the rough with the smooth, but if I can get out of a dark hole I found myself last year, so can you.

Find something that makes you smile and pin it to a wall or somewhere you look everyday to start making a change.

Many thanks for reading.

Carrie X

My Life as a Writer and how it has built up my confidence

As a kid I was always writing and has always been something I enjoyed and it is my kind of therapy. I began writing children's stories and then stemmed via writing a blog post, began writing more adult type books as I have gotten older, and I love it.

My life as a writer could be seen as repetitive some days, but that is why I mix it up. I have weekly posts I do and then I will write random posts on various topics coinciding with the main topic of the blog. 

I do have a Bloglovin site where I blog too and where I share tips and ideas on blog writing and self published books: See link here:

https://www.bloglovin.com/@carrieholmes40

It has built my confidence no end as it a skill that is natural and helps clear the mind, and with having so much positive feedback has seen that I may not like what I see in the mirror all of the time, but I have a naturally talented skill, and finding that skill that you look forward to each day can really help release endorphins and work on yourself. 

When you have created that masterpiece it can be like finding a pot of gold and it is something to cherish and build on, and getting people saying "Yes I have been there" and "Its as if someone has seen into my world" is like music to my ears. 

I did a video for my Life Coaching Programme I am putting together about Finding your talent and never copy, and may be of use to you. See this link here: https://youtu.be/vZsD-vECu9k 

When it comes to writing the tips I would say is to just write and don't worry about editing, just write what is in your head and what you picture. When I first published a book it was a like a milestone that I had taken that step to a dream I had and that it was like doing a marathon for the first time, and thought I would never have that. 

Finding a profession which is fulfilling and has a purpose, has been so rewarding by so many levels and once you see your book in print its something indescribable and those endless days typing and editing has paid off. 

With writing it can be passed down to your kids and can be taught to so many and have so many benefits. I was not a lover of school, and so spending my afternoon's writing was a highlight as I and another girl called Helen, who'd I would sit next to writing, was a good bit that I can say that I liked about school. 

It has made me grow as a person, and made me look at things differently and will continue on and say to all those who want to write to build their confidence to do so, and it doesn't have to be blogs or books, but writing a journal or a memoir, and even for a scrapbook. 

So get pen to paper and open that world you wish to create. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

How to build your confidence to get back into work

I have struggled getting back to work as I have lost a lot of my confidence and having anxiety and psychosis has been hard, but using intervention it has been a massive help and I do take medication, and felt like it was not me and couldn't get myself back on track. 

Thankfully my mental health is a lot better and I am in a place where I am acceptive of my life and yes it hit a dark spell but I am through that. I just felt my life was not great that I missed out on a lot. Yet I have a roof over my head, a have a son who is the most adorable little man and love watching him grow and I love being his mum. We do have a great bond and he brings out the child in me. 

I am not saying I constantly hearing voices but became scared, and felt I was being followed and that my family were in trouble and it just all built and so I went a bit insane. 

However I am fine and I am through it. Not being on social media all the time has helped, having a good steady routine. Being able to look after my on again has really been a massive turn as I would have anxiety over the school run, and dreaded the walk and would play what I can describe as movies of the most dreadful thing that could happen. I was in a state and felt out of control. 

I was losing my mind. That includes returning to work and was working in childcare, in various nurseries and have anxiety over that too, and felt I couldn't do anything and making lots of mistakes and so it has taken its time but I am slowly bit by bit getting more confident each day and taking my time. I have stopped rushing around but taking gradual steps to being myself again. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

Being Confident/What it means to me

What is being confident?

For me it is about having a low or good level of feeling it is good to be me or not. I have learned a lot of "It isn't as it seems". What I mean by that people who seem confident, aren't. 

Everyone can lack confidence but not show it. I found my confidence when it came to dancing and playing sports. Writing is my bestfriend and it was forgotten about for a long time, and now is what I love to do each day. I have lived a lot in an imaginary world, believing that I would be famous one day. That was my goal as a kid. Now I like privacy but sharing parts of myself that can help others. Hence why I created this blog. 

It took a while to get started, with that my Mentalhealth that effected my confidence took over. I dreamed another life, because I felt unfulfilled with the life I have had, and created different story of a life that wished I had lived. My confidence was from feeling like the odd one out, but looking at my life now that I am in my 40's I feel more awake of the life I have lived so far. 

Confidents is something you build as you grow, and can be knocked as you build it up. 

I feel my anxiety effects my confidence and I doubt myself all of the time and question myself. Not just now and then, but all of the time. 

I hate feeling this way. I want to have a good life and one that is fulfilled. I want a good level of happiness and be able to deal bad times, and take responsibility of what I do to help build myself, that will continue to boost my confidence and help others do the same. Yet my life has been good. My parents would encourage me and my brother to have hobbies. My brother did judo and played football. I did dancing and joined in drama groups and clubs. 

Later in life I did running. Took part in many running and walking charity events, and I got into going to Rugby League, by a friend of mine and had such fun. So it is all about how you see your love and how you see yourself and not go over all the bad that happened, and focus on the good, and continue to build and build until I can say, "You've done all right" and do what makes me feel good and will continue to build my confidence and changing how I see my life and making a difference to others too. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X