Worried About Not Being Good Enough

Do you ever feel that you are out of your depth? You continuously criticise yourself and worried about what other people think of you. You need to live by your own means and not someone else's life as people have different things going on in their life and beating yourself up needs to stop. 

As soon as I feel down I take myself away to a different environment or have a bath and do my skincare.

A picture from yesterday doing some writing in a local coffee shop.

I enjoy walking and going on walks up London or locally and have a coffee and do some writing and instantly makes me feel better. 

Going through my days I like to plan, set goals and this morning made pancakes for a change, with a cup of tea, working on my book and do a bit of reading, then did a walk on the treadmill. This was before my son set off to school and just doing things like  that helps me to forget about myself and that I am grateful for having hands, feet and got clothes to wear. 

Having a declutter can help you to feel better. I have been sorting out my bedroom in Epsom and seeing the results makes me concentrate on what is around me that makes me feel good, about not just by my body image, but things that give me joy like having a bed of my own, I will have closet I can hang my clothes on and wearing favourite clothing. 

Listen to feel good music. When I feel down all my life, have played music to help and create playlists and it gives me so much joy. It is good to have songs that say how you feel but make sense, along with writing down thoughts and restore my self belief. 

Reading certain books. I loved Bridget Jones and felt I could have been her, always wanting to lose weight and look for love in our lives, gets her heartbroken, but she realises that she made the wrong choice in terms of romance and then changes her job, realises someone she despises at first likes her, just as he she is and films like Dirty Dancing and that an ordinary girl attracts someone totally opposite to her and teaches her to dance, with a happy ever, ending.

So when having a down day about yourself then decluttering, journaling, reading and watching feel good films can change your thoughts about yourself, along with food. What will make you feel good and not guilty and can still be a comfort to eat. 

We put so much on our plates that we judge ourselves and so appreciate yourself and leave by your own means.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

 

How your period can affect your confidence

I was not ready when my period came at the age of 9 and changed the way I felt about my body. Watching and listening to a podcast on Youtube: Fearn Cotton Happy Place (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFf9BKDLsec) they were talking about it and I am glad woman are sharing because I read a book about it but I was not prepared and did sex education at school, but still was a shock and took a me a long time to adjust to this change in my body and felt embarrassed and it can make you feel groggy, bloated and just want to rest.

                                             

A lot girls can have painful periods and be super heavy and it was frowned upon, taking time off school because of it and I would begrudge fellow pupils myself, like "Well I have still gone to school" and gone home because of it, but going on how I feel now, it should be taken more seriously and should be allowed to take time off. Employees too. 

It made me afraid of wearing certain clothing as I would leak, so not wearing white and would be a lot heavier on some days, meaning having to wear three or four pads at a time and cause a lot of paranoia, and stress. 

The one thing I found hard was PE day and getting changed in front of each other, because for me I need that privacy and compassion, because your hormones are developing and feel extra stressed and agitated.

I couldn't get used to it. I feared it. Now I used to it, it's still not nice but no longer feel bad about my body. It is your body getting ready for adulthood and I do think there should be therapy available knowing what I know now and not suffering, thinking they are exaggerating as there are woman who can have real problems each month and for few years back, they would be super heavy, clotting and last a lot longer and was not able to walk without bleeding heavily and was afraid of moving. 

I was offered the coil but a bit fearful of it. There was any other options to take but began to change my diet and not sure if it was due to medication I was taken for my mental health, as I was having terrible anxiety. However they seem to be okay now and not lasting so long and under control.

It can effect your appetite and put on a bit of weight on. I am not scaremongering but being honest. I have been affected a lot by my menstrual cycle in terms of confidence and appearance and thinking I am the only one who found it so hard, but now I know it not just me who has had a hard time but celebrities are sharing and your not a freak with having to wear dark clothing all the time, not able to exercise because of heavy bleeding and not knowing what to do. It affected my energy and health and when unwell, I became anaemic and the doctor couldn't believe how long my period would last for and why the were so heavy and there wasn't much help available. 

Teaching about it I think is key. When I was at school mainly primary you had a school nurse, but once I reached my final year there that had all changed. I would bring them back, because it is knowing who to talk to about it and getting the right support and provide towels and tampons in schools. 

If you have had problems too with your periods and you want to share then please do. We need to help each other and young girls to help get the right support, as it can make you feel isolated and afraid of your body. We should be proud of our bodies and what it can do. It can mend it self and be okay, it was not knowing the full extent of what can happen when you begin period that affected me a lot.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X