Building confidence about your self image

Since I was a kid I have always been someone who has struggled with their self image, and compared myself to others.

At school there was a girl called Sherie who I have written about in my book The Peabody Years, because she was so pretty and popular, that I wished I could be just like her and would imagine it too.

I have always found it tough since I was a kid to fit in, but now I am 41 years of age my outlook on myself image compared to back then has changed dramatically.

Please check out my EBooks relating to this topic called,

How To Stop Scrutinizing Yourself and stop self sabotage

Mind Matters : Building Self Confidence 

Don't get me wrong I still get those days where I avoid a mirror of any shape or form. I still am hesitate at times when it comes to trying on clothes in a public fitting room, but I have learned to love myself more and appreciate what I do have and what I do like.

Excepting who you are is important especially being a mum now, I don't want my son to feel those emotions about himself like I have done, and I want him to thrive. So I am conscious about my self image, so my insecurities don't rub off on to him.

The one book I would recommend to read about building confidence is a book by Paul McKenna, called,

Change Your Life In Seven Days

It will help you get out of a rut and even if you are in lockdown you can still follow the book and its exercises.. 

I found it super helpful and I have even got the Paul McKenna book, 

I Can Make You Rich

• If you need financial support which is not helping your confidence then this book is great to follow. 
• Meditation is also good way of feeling good about yourself, along with exercise and eating a lot healthier. 
• Practice mindfulness, which is noticing everything around you whilst you breath in through the nose out through the mouth.

Yes you can still splurge now and again, but as I see it a treat is a treat and not something you need to have everyday. You know within yourself that if you eat 12 Mars Bars in one go, you ain't gonna feel happy, but regret. As soon as we eat fatty foods and processed foods the more we crave them and feel we need them, which in turn destroys your confidence because you are now paranoid about your weight. 

I see it as unnecessary stress. 

You can easily workout at home, I have done and I am going to start doing some exercises today even if it is for 5 to 10 minutes or going for a walk. I have been self isolating at my mum's for a bit now, and my marriage has broken down, so things have changed, but I feel new positive outcomes on the horizon. 

I can look at myself in the mirror and feel like "Yes I feel good today" And that to me is a stepping stone. 

Tony Robbins does videos about Instant Confidence, check out his video linked below: 

youtube.com/watch?v=eI7Tdvi4PBA

Building confidence about your self image, is to remember that noone is perfect and many images on magazines have been airbrushed and edited in a way that they look good, but it has taken make up and hair done professionally for them to look glamorous on the front cover. 

We can be unkind to ourselves and ridicule every each of our body. 

• Practice gratitude as this helps get in touch with the positive side of the brain and go through what you are thankful for. If it is self image, then say "I am grateful for my eyes and ears" for example, because there are people who can't hear or see, and we should feel grateful for these senses. 
• Create a vision board of what you would look like and set a budget, as it could be the jumper is too big or jeans for example not suiting your body type, so create an ideal you, and think carefully about this image you see in front you . 

1. Are they super confident?
2. How are they standing?
3. What are they wearing?
4. How are they speaking?

• Go through your wardrobe and have your own fashion show and put outfits already together and watch repeats of Gok Won programme How To Look Good Naked: https://www.youtube.com/user/lookgoodnaked This is really great for inspiration.

In any case beauty is within, they can be the most beautiful looking person in the world but not necessarily a nice person. 

So don't fret over the way you look and have fun with putting make up on, painting your nails or dressing up for a change if you are going out. 

I will post more very soon....

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

  

10 Tips on how to prevent loneliness

As I sit here at my computer desk eating my go to must have breakfast, Crunchy nut clusters, I can't but reach out to those who are stuck indoors feeling lonely. I wrote blog on one of my other sites on this subject (see link below):

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/04/20/feeling-lonely-stop-self-sabotage/

We must remember the elderly who are stuck indoors with no family to visit them and can't get out, so how do we overcome this?

1. There are befriending services which you can sign up for and join, and all you will be doing is visiting them as a friend
2. If it is a neighbour or a relative, then why not offer to do their shopping for them. I did for my Nan when she was alive and couldn't go out as she was unwell, and would often pick up bits and bobs for her
3. Why not cook them a meal like a shepherds Pie or lasagna, or what I used to do when I stayed at my Nan's, I would pick up some fish n chips, or we would take her (my mum and I) for Pie and Mash
4. Why not do facetime if they have computer, or record a video for them to watch and smile at. This would be something that can be keep and passed down to the next generation
5. Drop them an email or send then an ECard wishing them well and bestwishes
6. Create them a scrapbook with loads of photos and postcards of passed holidays they have been on
7. Arrange a meeting with them using sites such as Zoom, this is a great way to get in touch, and is just like facetime accept that you have to put in an ID number and password
8. Make them a music CD of their favourite tracks for them to listen to
9. Why not set up a Facebook or Whatsapp group if they have an android phone. That is how I keep up to date with school events and special days
10. Create them a hamper with some real goodies and treats

If you have ideas of what you can do for someone who is lonely then please add a comment below, and remember you can follow me on WordPress.com to keep up tot date with all my blogs I post on this site

Many thanks for reading,



Carrie X

Handling depression/feeling suicidal

I am now on a antidepressant because my depression has gotten really bad, I do think of suicide everyday, and almost made an attempt during lastnight, yet I am still here writing this blog.

It is hard to take yourself out of the black hole you feel when you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper inside and can't get out of.

So here is some advice on how to overcome these feelings:

1. Address the depression
Face it head on, and ask the depression a question. To do this you will need a mirror to look at yourself and with a notepad think about everything you see in front of you, from your reflection. This is what I wrote down myself:
> Bare faced
> Dislike my teeth
> Feel stuck in a rut
> Frustration
> Worthless
> Anger
> Betrayed

2. Break them down 
So for example:

I don't like being bare faced, I feel I need a facial or follow my skin regime like I did before. I do feel I have let myself go. I feel that a face can speak many things, and Trinny London does a lot of videos talking about skincare and beauty, which will help enhance the skin.

3. Write down under each one the things you do like about that particular area.

Bare Faced
Mine is I like eyes, nose and lips, I like the size and shape of them.

Dislike my teeth
I wish for them to be straight and they are stained due to tea drinking, so have cut down on drinking so much tea again. I was told by the doctors some time ago that I do need to cut down on Caffeine due to having type 2 diabetes and when I was younger.

I dislike the shape, but the positive is they have started to become more whiter than before and I like my side teeth and bottom, I just don't like the front teeth much.

4. Read it out loud 
You can do this or get someone else to do this for you.

5. Have two journals
A happy one and a one where you can rant and rave about your feelings and what is happening to you.

Please remember you are not alone and there people out there who can support you.

Many thanks for reading,


Carrie X

Dealing with negative people

Have you ever come across those people who because they've had a pissed off day, tried to take you down with them?

They can make you become someone who self sabotages like they do, because they are holding themselves back or even bullying you, which I have experienced first hand, by putting you down making snide comments towards you or shouting at you, humiliating you in front of others.

Dealing with negative people, is to not let them detonate the negative within you and to do that be nice to them, keep smiling and if they get unbearable then try to stay clear of them until they see sense that this is not a good way to behave or even cut them out of your life for good.

Be clear to them that they aren't going to spoil your day and you are never going to give up being happy because of them. If they want to be unkind and cruel let them, just try not to entertain them in anyway. Yes fight back if they do get physical and out of control, you have after all the right to speak out, but don't allow them to drag you down.

They could be going through personal issues themselves, so try not to get personal or into a slagging match, as sometimes they are often after a certain reaction from you, a bit like when a kid has a tantrum, usually do with something else and not be about you, you just happen to be there.

These type of people can be jealous and using their own insecurities to sabotage you. Not your problem its theirs.

Have boundaries, make it clear that they are starting to over step the mark and that it is time to tighten their lip otherwise all the above will presume.

Learn from them, sometimes those that are in charge of a business can sometimes not be really a good leader because they have become a manager or a business owner without the knowledge of how to actually manage people correctly, they assume due to often from misleading management that is a way to have people do what you want them to do, but not necessarily mean it should be done in that way.

Try to take it on the chin and try to help them see the good side of things, never say "Pull yourself together" or "Get a grip" because from my own experience, it can cause an eruption and make them ten times worse.

At the moment due to the Coronovirus we should be doing all we can to bring people together not against and so lets do that for those who work for the NHS and other services we need at this time, because they are people who teach us to thrive.

Many thanks for reading,


Carrie X