Saturday, 12 December 2020

Not Feeling Good At Christmas

 


A lack of feeling unconfident can happen at any time, and especially at Christmas at parties whether it is work related or family. 

I am not going to any this year, but I am going to do as many things I enjoy as possible at that is one way of helping you to ignore your lack of confidence for a bit, by focusing on the things you love. 

Noone has the right to tell you how to live your life, not even your parents, as we don't belong to them as they are the holders and are meant to be guardians to help build on our personalities and guide us to be happy, that is what God had intended, not to be told what to do. 

There is a man out there that wants to look after me and love me out of this world, and yes it is someone well known, and there are family that do care and do want me to have a happier life. I want a place of my own, more children and have a bloody good end of 2020, and to feel good about myself for a change.

I do want to start a fresh and at Christmas that is what I think about. I am not fussed about getting materialistic items, even though it is nice for those who do so, but this year I want to be rid of those demons who still haunt me, like so many and live on making myself and others who do love me, have a happy ending each time, no matter how much there are others that want to make it tough. 

I would love to buy my mum a place in Spain one day, the Car she has always wanted and give her the life she wants to have, so she can retire when she chooses to, and finally be free of carrying such a workload and retire peacefully,

I am not here to save lives but honour those who do look at for me and make sure that I am safe to help make them safe too. Christmas can be tough and can bring out all those insecurities. Chrismas lunch is lovely but how many cut down on their eating before they do this? I am not. My appetite has changed and lost weight but was not intending to do because Christmas, its something I always think about. 

Who puts these worries on to us?

I am and can see that a new thought coming, when I say this, can we just enjoy Christmas without worrying about calories? I bet God who invented Chritmas along with Santa did carry Bathroom Scales around with them, so why do we focus on that?

I am going to scrap all that, and just focus on getting fit again. Dressing in a way that helps build my confidence and stay strong as I can.

Here is a song that says just that by Cyndi Lauper:


Many thanks for reading,


Carrie X 

P.S: Please check out my JustGiving page where I am raising money for the charity Tommy's here is the following link:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths


All my posts can be found on my Squarespace site:

https://www.carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com




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