There was a time, and reason why I began this blog, was because I would avoid looking at myself because I felt so ashamed and who would want to look at me? Yet realise that's there insecurities and they're having a pop at me because in some way releases their negative thoughts that they have of themselves.
I still get a little self conscious when watching my videos because I don't wear a lot of make up, I am not super slim but then I ask myself is that important? and no, not saying those that do wear a lot make up, that I have a problem with it, not at all, but be happy with myself and stop thinking it makes me less of a person and enjoy looking after skin and now created a simple make up routine, gone for a no make up look because I do feel better having with a bit on and not affect my skin as I have had problems in the passed and keep it minimal.
Its been like a long road, because it has taken a lot to overcome my negative thoughts about myself and take a lot of tears and sadness to feel better about myself and being grateful that I have legs that can walk and arms to feed myself, my hair and face.
There are times where I hated fitting rooms and would make me feel awful and that nothing suited me, and that I had a terrible dry skin and there was a time when I was a child that I begged to have freckles and now I have a lot and makes me feel regretful that I wished that and that I should have been satisfied but no.
Listening to Jennifer Gray who was in Dirty Dancing had a complete transformation and it surprised as her image was epic and brilliant actress and couldn't imagine her not being baby and a part that was made for her.
It is surprising that just because they are on TV the way the think of themselves is positive and can add to their unhappiness about themselves and body image and that it's not what you do, but the influences that are making you feel ugly and not good about yourself. I remember meeting up with work colleagues and they were so super tall that I felt so little and out of place and stopped meeting up with them as I just felt inadequate.
Then there are emotional relationships where you feel under pressure because of the way you look and feel bad because I don't shave my legs all of the time and armpits and don't wear dresses all the time but now love my clothes and have fun with them and like wearing funky socks, with leggins and a fleece and just getting the most of the things that make me feel good about myself and not being serious about it.
So stop the shame a live and go through your image and create a vision board and have fun with trying different make up, if you wear it and just let self image get you down and I think you are amazing and that beauty is within too and not just about the clothes and image.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
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