Finding your way through parenting

 As a parent I haven't always been super confident in fact having anxiety and being anxious did double. Sorry if this feels like I am scarmongering, I just like to give the facts but you find your way through. You will begin to see that kids from an early age will begin to make choices for themselves and want to do things without your help, and it can be a culture shock but when you have found your feet, you'll see that it can all fit in and will find a balance between you, the baby and non parent relationships and the other parent. 

Discussing any worries with your midwife whilst pregnant or trying to get pregnant is a great way to get advice and you can get counselling now when it comes to having children, which was never there before, and sitting down and chatting about it, along with other parents can give you real support and you'll be glad to have talked about anything that is causing you to feel anxiety still and anxiousness. 

Take each step as they come and I found comfort by learning about each stage of my pregnancy and wish I had a camera to see all the different stages as it is amazing and the biggest thing you'll ever do in your life. 

If you are tense your baby will feel it and so get prepared and have your stuff ready for the birth as soon as you have your 25 week scan. 

Have a budget when it comes to buying items for your baby and separate their money away from yours and have a changing basket in each floor and rooms you spend most of the time. 

I loved having a portable changing mat as it makes nappy changing a breeze.

Use a baby carrier for when they are new born and something I will do if I am able to get pregnant again. 

Finding items that are functionable and practical, like a portable changing areas and I used our items in the living as the bathroom where I lived when having Henry, wasn't big enough for baby changing to be done in there, so it was his room, a bed or the floors cleaned downstairs. 

I write a regular blog post on my site: https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

When people take sides and effects your confidence

Experiencing an end of a relationship, you'll discover many different emotions and dilemmas, like the change it means. Moving to a new home and sharing custody if you have children, and guilt especially you if like me ended it. 

It was not like I wanted it too and had it planned, I kept going through it as you get feelings, like will it change back and the emotions followed by the end of a friendship even, can hit like a knife but when one of you feel there's no spark anyone, it has to be what you decide, and what is the right answer? Often we look of answers when it is right in our face, and that is it can only go two ways, carry on praying it will fix it self or take action. Often you have to take action, however much it can hurt.  

With the end of friendships too, people will take sides and give advice when often we want to be listened to and yet people immediately in my experience jumped in front of the other person involved and then your left feeling like a criminal of some sorts. 

Yet it can be resolved by saying "Do you want to hear it from my side?" This gives them the choice, but people can be narrow minded and still not taking it in. I wrote a blog on my other site: everyonecanbuildacastle.com   about how to talk to someone when they don't want to listen? it is often you can't but give them the chance to, but if they are adament about it then it best to leave them and just support and back yourself and seek help elsewhere like Mind.org or even with mental health teams in your area. They usually separated going on borough in London and Surrey. 

So never feel guilt, and do like I did. We my ex-husband did sit down and talked, and now we are on good terms. I hope it can last this way and good for our some to be civil as you do have to remember if you have children they need to be told about what is happening and are listened to too. 

If it has knocked your confidence and self belief, then it is time perhaps to do something for yourself and take time to rebuild the wall around you and find people who are on your side and noone is sitting on the ledge, and being stuck in the middle of it. 

For me relationships I have had for years are like family and so when it ends it does really effect my confidence but I address and then go over and try to reach a medium and work on my self belief, and leave the window open for them, but only for so long. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Get Confidence in myself to do the School run again

So I suppose you will say looking at the Title think, how is the school run got to do with getting confidence in doing this everyday think in school year and why not relax and take in these moments?

Well I do, yet I found it the first year like I was on some kind of mission, and being stress head comes with these type of worries. 

Looking at the cause, it was to do with the route to school, as we would cross over a really busy road, and yet it only had one Zebra Crossing but was an extra 10 minutes walk, which I didn't mind, but my son wanted to cross without using this, and I know terrible, and yes I would have fears about it. 

Then my son wanted to walk a different route and suddenly I was fine. 

So to help confidence in doing the school run, if you take the less stressed route to school, do it, as it saves you get worried and dreading it. 

Life is full of roads and often it the way we've gone about it has made it difficult. 

Now I am all about keeping it simple. I wrote two parenting sites on Wordpress, if you wish to check them out:

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

To get confident with doing the school run, have everything packed ready for the day, within plenty of time, but also plan the different routes if there are many different ways and go through which would cause less stress about it. 

Show your children of the route and how you will be taking them and who will pick them up at the end of the day. 

Have a check-off list of what you need to take on hand, and if you can attach it to a wall or fridge, whatever available, and the most used space in your home, that you and you children can clearly see it. 

Do a separate list of what you need to take and they need to, and help the school run easier, have them pack their bags and tick off the list. 

Just keep it simple, use any free time you have and delegate if you can, and have one parent to drop off and the other to pick up. Keep comunicating with other adults who will be assisting you, including the school teacher and your child. 

So lets get the first day done and then whatever helps save the stress do it. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

Stand up and be counted/Never be excluded again/Happiness should be all round

Hello and welcome! If you would like to visit my Youtube channel then you can do so via this link:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

If you are lacking confidence, because of the way you look or feel, and you aren't being listened to then don't take this anymore. 

Stand up for yourself and if you are with someone who pushes you away that you love and dangles you in front of friends cause you are popular, you have a high profile and cause you are grabbing people's attention, and they aren't, then talk with them and see that it isn't out to get them, or be forgotten. We can all be friends, but I have learned now, in my 40's there are people who will always be like that, no matter what so, are they friends or not, that is what you need to ask them, and you be in charge to decide are they worth sticking by or not?  

Give yourself credit. Something that I have had to work on, and be counted. If you feel you are being pushed out then never be excluded again as they are doing it because they feel, that if you are happy that they aren't, but happiness can grow all round. If you are kind to someone then chances are they will be kind to you. 

If you open the door to someone and they don't acknowledge then say "Thank you wouldn't go a miss", and keep faith, not everyone is like that, but they feel that the door should be opened to them, when no I could have just ignored and closed the door in their face...yet would I do that, is that making me as bad as them? . 

I find when you meet someone who isn't thankful it can rub off, and working in Customer Service there were people who would ring to have an argument, because they don't care who you are or a friend, and someone who is expected to be rude to and angry at. 

This can lead again on you, and rubs off, and when I would go home to my ex-husband I would often explode.

Yet there are ways to have them change their minds, by agreeing "yes that it not right, let me help fix it" and I have been an angry customer, when I was gonna use BT to install our internet, because they had a great deal on their website, but they kept saying where I used to live we couldn't have the internet, because we didn't have a the right cable outside to do so, and every engineer who visited said the same. 

What did I do cancel, and they then would allow us to change over for about a month, and that didn't encourage me to then join BT but pushed me further away.

So again, stand up and be counted, and never be exclused again. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Life is yours so live it/Be your own date

Hello and welcome! I have been doing a 30 day challenge to write a blog a day for one of my Wordpress posts and today was the final day of that challenge and so if you want to read them then go to:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com 

In this blog post I am writing about Life is yours so live it and Be your own date.

So, tomorrow I am taking myself out and going to do a few errands and filming tomorrow for a couple of vlogs and then scheduling some Youtube videos for the week ahead and scheduling some blogs and work on my books.

I like having a whole day to do what I want and being the first week of the UK School summer holidays it is well needed. 

It also means tonight I don't have go to bed early and stay up a bit longer as I am looking after my son all week so it is good to have a free day and I am also gonna fit in a home workout and do more walking to up my steps again. 

With a child of 7 this is not always easy so when I can I use the days I have free to have "Me Time" and so pick a day with no kids and explore and I may even read my book if not raining out too or may have a coffee in a coffee shop and do a bit of work out doors for a change too. 

Life is about enjoying life, and errands don't have to be boring, so have a date with yourself and enjoy.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

Feeling like you don't belong/Be a loner/How I overcame these feelings

Hello anc welcome! This blog site is all about building confidence and as kid to an adult often felt like I didn't belong anywhere and felt this throughout my life and now I am in a place where I do and its blog writing and publishing books that have helped. I have always loved writing and is my passion. 

At school when I first started I would sit on a bench and watch the others kids having a good time and I would sit there hoping that someone would speak to me but didn't and had to work hard to build friends. I was never comfortable in that environment and I feel the problem was, was that you were to learn and that was it. 

Schools now encourage kid interaction and building good relationships with other kids as school does play a part in your life and I never liked being there. 

How I overcame this was when I began working and it was through work that made me feel important and not just someone who can print documents off or just another employee. 

I felt that I fitted in better and that it was an environment I needed and going to dancing school on Saturdays and did some casual work at first working at Fulham Football club, it all added up and then discovered the blog world and as they say the rest is history. 

I had found my niche and that is what is important what inspires you and builds you. You have to work on yourself in order to meet new people in your life. 

Did you know the Singer Celine Dion took 4 years out of her career to change image and to learned English to help expand her career as an artist and performer and it worked. I do take regular breaks from the blog world but I always come back and the good thing noone needs to know I have been aways its I do get burn out and often just need that time to reflect and to recharge.

Confidence is building your self inside an out not listening to critics or allowing them to take over but thrive with each Critism.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

When things turn for the worst/Hitting rock bottom/turning your life around

Hello and welcome! Last year was not a good one and I have written about it in other blogs around that time and afterwards, yet I couldn't for a while put pen to paper having the shakes that took over my body for a bit and the same this year when in a Mental Health hospital as the new pills the doctor prescribed made me have terribe side effects.

You can feel isolated and alone, and have terrible nights sleep, but all that for me is over and now i'm such a happy place.

Hitting rock bottom is not to be underestimated and often it can feel like a never ending cycle of not liking yourself, being angry at other people and thinking everyone is against you.  

You have to pull away from those feelings amd to do that go through who and what is in your life and if there is something you can change each day can really help you feel happier within yourselves.

Check out my book below which is all about making one change a day;

It is about taking the Jigsaw appart to find the pieces again, and so even if it is changing a shelf, cleaning your bath and lighting candles or doing a exercise workout it can all help to have a better wellbeing and be more happier withyourself.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X