Changes of the Seasons

I have been spending a lot of my time just with my son and today we went to Morden. When we reach the winter we can often get the Holiday blues because it is the end of Christmas once again. I've begun to take the Christmas decorations down and its returning to "Normality once again" for some people and dread the new year or want Christmas to go on for longer and you can do that. In some cultures they celebrate on the 26th December and then there is the Chinese new year. I have come to understand that there are no rules of when you you celebrate a season for longer. 

Our living room over Christmas 

It is up to you. Easter Holidays are different now. We'd treat it as if it was another Christmas, spending time with family and for some it is still is a family celebration, so if you feel low, it can be about ourselves because of what you have eaten and your filled with regret and means having to cut down what we have consumed mentally and physically. 

Use the after season, to eat less and get back to meal planning and use up what we have got and todays dinner is is going to be what we have in our freezer and food cupboard. I was going to have fruit out of the tin with Carnation Milk, but we are using up our crackers and cheese, so if your money is tight, influencing the way you feel, use up your food cupboard and food in the freezer and make a stew. A great meal for when it is cold and good to use up what you have so when it comes to Spring you can restock the food cupboard, fridge and freezer. 

It is also good to sort out my clothes. So got out some of my jumpers and I am going to do a Low Spend year, not buy anymore clothes and focus on my writing, my home and my son. I have enough and almost completed my Reading Challenging. Reading twenty books and read more and have a better storage system for my books and Journals. 

This helps me to exercise my mind and helping me write books and develop stories and switch off and build my knowledge. There is still a lot I want to learn in terms of writing and growing as person and reduce what I owe. 

I like what I owe mostly, like my clothes so don't need to consume more. 

There will be less hauls. I may do grocery hauls, but that will be it because I want to travel and I can't have both and it is a good way to use up what I have got and don't need money coming out all the time. 

If you'd like to visit in my vlog channel here is the link: (64) Typical London Gal Carrie Holmes - YouTube

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Decluttering Isn't all about Physical items but decluttering your mind too

When we think of declutter we think of physical things. It is also the mind and physical decluttering can help but this can have a negative effect too. It can feel lonely and want to ask for help but we are afraid to.

So you need to decide what is going to make you mentally charged. Do we ignore our mental state or should we take action to feel good in how you feel about yourself. If things are too much where can you go that will help and if there anyone who you can chat to? 

Are you finding that you hate what is around you? Are you in a volatile relationships? Physical declutter won't help but jotting down your negative thoughts about yourself will and that something needs to change by getting out of bad relationships will and knowing where and who can you turn to. I remember someone saying "You know who your friends are when you are down and not having a good time".

Christmas can be hard because of the expense and the loss of others. It felt strange the first Christmas without my nan as Christmas was always so enjoyable and my dad not being around now.

I like the Christmas again as I still have traditions, but new ones as and I know they wouldn't, my nan and my dad to feel sad and I want my son to enjoy it and now I feel this release of "Its okay".

I have found that it is good to go for a walk, journal and all those things people advise but also a nice meal, a good book to read and switching off from my laptop and phone. Playing music. I love creating playlists and now I work on radio this has really been a real revelation and that dreams can come true and that has helped declutter my mind. It is good to have things take your mind away from your troubles and redressing your thoughts as clutter in the mind can knock us down. 

Its not being selfish to have time for yourself. It in fact more important because if we can't function mentally how are we going to help our kids and family and friends. You need to focus on you sometimes and have joy in your life and so clear mentally then physically.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Handling The Nerves/Hearing yourself Speak

I remember when I heard myself for the first time. My friend had a camcorder and I was shocked by hearing myself and the fact that it was cringing, was an understatement. 

Then when I heard Diana speak and how she had elocution lessons made me feel that I am not the only one who suffered with nerves when speaking out. So did her Great Father law the Queens father and had help with speaking to world and the whole of Britain and it can really effect your confidence and I hated the way I spoke. 

Yet as a young girl, performing in shows as I had dancing lessons and did performances in school and the dance teacher would put a yearly show and I loved it and I wasn't nervous at all and it is strange that when I heard myself, I wanted to be invisible and then as I began to do Youtube videos I got used to it. I found myself say "You know" like a thousand times and er and um. 

I used a Dictaphone to practice speaking and began to laugh at my voice. I had the micky taken out of my voice because I'd stutter and would laugh but deep down it was affecting me and began to move away from that. People will think that it is just a joke but when it does make you want to hide away you know that these people will continue and when I would give back they didn't like it and I suppose they felt that it made then feel better. 

I mean some of it was funny but when I felt, when I stammered, like I wanted to go home and glad that I lost contact with them. My real friends would be supportive. It was work colleagues and we did have fab times but when you feel them smirking and felt uncomfortable, I decided to lose contact. I suffer with social anxiety and I now work on Hospital radio and I actually love it and really has helped with my confidence. 

I heard myself sing and I didn't think I was too bad and no I will never be Charlotte Church or Katherine Jenkins but wasn't like a cat screaming as I thought and I do get nervous doing my show but enjoy it at the same time and I love music and as a child I wouldn't always speak. Talking has always been a struggle and when someone would talk to me either my mum or brother would talk for me and now my son does the same when someone talks to him and so I encourage and he is never rude, he still learning about conversation and I feel he will struggle talking in front of others but again it is a skill that can grow and being around the right people. 

I mean David Beckham I remember hearing on Match of the Day for the first time and he had the micky taken out of him and I felt he handled it impeccably and I am sure it bothered him. I mean he is human. He took it and spoke via his skill in football and that is often the best way. 

So if you find it a shock when you hear your voice then one tip is, to find a song that you can listen to and sing to, record your voice via your mobile phone and read. That is what has helped me and I loved acting. That really did helped and enjoyed being in shows and plays.  

So use your voice, never hide away. That is not the answer and your voice is just as important to listen to, as the next person. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Building Your Social Confidence

This something I've had to work on. I do still get nervous when meeting with people. I like to rehearse in my head of what to say and talk about. 

I have had a embarrassing moments when chatting. I almost choked once eating a bit of cake and gagged and forgot what I wanted to say and just felt so self aware of trying to talk and nothings coming out and could end up spitting cake at the people I was talking to.

There have been times where I have stuttered, yet when working in a Call Centre was fine with what to say, it came to me naturally. I can take a joke and had people take the mick out of my voice but deep down making me feel so self conscious and been afraid to speak. 

I do feel a lot better now. Yes I still stammer and will talk fast and in a job interview once and kept interrupting and saw the look on the other persons face. My mind often goes at a such a pace that my voice can't always keep up. 

My the colour of my teeth. At school I had yellow teeth from drinking to tea and so the dentist advised me to cut it down. I never knew that the Queen Mother had bad teeth and not that I feel that is okay but was able to handle and change my teeth so they are white. 

My height would affect me as I am petite but gotten a way with paying child fare up to my twenties and no exaggeration and would feel bad but I would be honest but they'd say no and allowed me to pay child fare and tickets when I was with my friends at the Rugby team I used to follow. This, going to sports events has helped me be find in social situations,

I'd have the micky taken out of me but it was funny and really came out of my shell. 

So it can be around the wrong kind of people, who just like the sound of their own voice and had people talk down to me. I was in one job and one of my colleagues kept answering for me when talking to other colleagues and it really was bugging me. 

I could act in front of people and dance, but reading out in front of people can be my worst nightmare. 

When I am doing my radio show I write a script to help me when speaking and I am okay with it.

The worse thing is to avoid socialising, but find a way to control the fear and it can get better. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

 

Giving and Accepting Compliments

So today I took my son out for breakfast and gave the Waitress a compliment as she looked really stylish and my husband looked at me as if I was pulling an egg out of my mouth. So is it okay to give compliments and why is so alien to some? 

I feel it is a part of my personality. I do admire other people and mainly women because it is nice to see people make an effort and what I can do to feel better about myself. Also I bought make up and so don't want to tip it away so not everyday, but to mix my days up I will put some on. I have had compliments when working in call centre. I think it is nice and why can't we compliment one another?

It is nice to give myself pleasure and when I first started Vlogging (checkout: (235) Typical London Gal Carrie Holmes - YouTube) I got a complimented about my eye make up. It is good to give a confidence boost. Not for the sake of it, but say that I like their outfit or I work on Epsom Hospital Radio and given compliments to my fellow presenters as they all do a brilliant shows and feel privileged that I get to do a show too and hope people in the hospital listen to it, a long with those who have internet. 

A compliment is just that, A Compliment and always grateful and when people read and like my blogs it is really uplifting. 

So why it alien to others? 

May it is because they not sure if it is or not and don't know what it is. That isn't being viscous but honest feeling I feel when someone can't take or give a compliment and may not have experienced in receiving kindness and also feel, awkward. 

I think it is good to be nice and my son gives compliments and it really makes my heart melt when he does and I know he means it. 

That can also why some people feel awkward when it comes to compliments they don't know what to say back and if someone is actually meaning it.

It doesn't mean not to give any compliment because people find it alien but for that reason because to me I find it can be just gracious and build friendships and means you've given that person your time in complimenting them.

So what is your view in regards to compliments. I'd love to hear your views. You can use he Comments box below.

Many thanks for reading

Carrie X 

 

Feeling Ugly and losing your identity

I feel better these days about how I look and my reflection. I still catch myself when I begin to be critical about myself, but I no longer avoid looking at myself and I accept myself. I will make sure I look after myself, by looking after my skin, my teeth and eat healthy. 

You can be your own worse enemy when you put yourself down and would never say it to anyone else and when becoming a parent you can lose your identity, however much you love your kids. 

It is good to do things just for you at times and that is putting on some make up, going for a alone walk with a coffee, meet up with friends, but just you and just time where you feel better and be able to chat about your insecurities and forget about them, for an hour or two.

It is good to see yourself. The the worst thing is to avoid. For me it was, "Do I want to feel like this for the rest of my life?" I had enough, so I spent time challenging myself. I started to make an effort each day and that helped to build my confidence. 

The first thing was, "What makes me happy?" and "What do I want to change?"

Learning a new skill. I have done courses in Mental Health, Counselling and did football coaching courses and just spent time building my skills and knowledge and did a creative writing course and now doing a BBC Maestro course and I really enjoy learning. 

When you are on your Menstrual Cycle you can feel a little sluggish and out of sorts. Along with Menopause and if you are going through puberty. I found the changes of my body as I went through my teenage years, a shock to me and felt really insecure. I was very conscious of my weight, my teeth and would compare myself. 

Now I have stopped and I do feel better and that is regaining my identity now. I did a lot of self conditioning, like changed my habits. I will look after my body, I now paid of my debts, I read each day and go out a lot and explore and that has helped so well and make the most of my days and keep on growing and focus on what is important to me. This has been a huge turning point. 

So you don't have to feel low about yourself and build a better routine that helps with how you feel, like skincare, reading and Fearne Briton for example, enjoys organising her book shelves and I love doing a bit of tidying and make nice lunches. Mix your days up and do a bit of dancing. My son and I have been watching Strictly now it is back and been dancing. 

Increasing your endorphins can help in so many ways. So give yourself a break and doing different habits and changes can really help you to feel good inside and on the out. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

 

How Much Should You Share- Body Confidence- Online- Messaging and Trolling

I am watching the New Reality Show, The Prince Diaries who is Peter Andre and Katie Price's daughter and she shares a message to her friend, in her show and her dad, about guys on Social Media sending her inappropriate messages and I have had that too, or asked if they can call me and chat to me directly, yet I am not a reality star. Not saying that I disagree with Reality shows, but that even I innocently posting a selfie, too help my confidence, and fully clothed, was getting weird men wanting to hook up. I now block and have become more vigilant about what I post. 

There are two sides of this. That you, 

• Shouldn't be showing others yourself online if you don't want inappropriate messaging. Like those who are sending these messages, have the right to so
• Adding filters to your selfies, is the cause
• Showing images of yourself naked whilst pregnant or a friend I knew from when working at Butlins, showing pictures and writing a message of her daughter that had sadly passed away, is. wrong

I have no judgement on that, the human body is amazing and celebrating peoples lives, of people no longer in the world, to raise awareness and get support from others, is up to the person. I never really worried about my body when I was pregnant, but wouldn't have the confidence to show my body whilst pregnant or at all.

I think as long as you keep yourself safe and you are aware of other peoples views, then it is up to you. 

If you share a picture of a love one, can help others feel they aren't alone and can get help with helping others, then it can be a great asset to post on online. 

Then there is trolling and bullying and it can lead to that. 

My one bit of advice is, make sure your on guard, that if anything comes up, you don't entertain them.

With Princess (Peter Andrea and Katie Price) daughter has always been in the limelight and grown up with cameras in her face, and that can add pressure and insecure. I think about Karen Carpenter and she began to be affected by horrible reports in the News Papers. 

Being in the headlines and living with celebrity parents, people can be extra unkind, when I worked in a call center and helped people through the chat service, could be so much ruder and unkind. I was threatened, called names and told that I should get run over by a train. As a kid I wanted to be famous, but I know now, if I had been from a young age, it would have affected me, in terms of insecurity and damage, a lot more because I already had insecurities. 

I am glad that there was no social media back when I was a child. Yet people were unkind still growing up in the 80's, in newspapers, sporting events and Miss World competitions. There were page three girls, Miss World, Ring Girls and Playboy. 

Then you had String fellows, with Topless dancing and nude modeling. 

As a Temp I worked in a Porn Magazine company, processing invoices and met a girl there who I'd known since a kid and they were local women. Then you had the Supermodel, Kate Moss, Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford. Were these models showing too much? Is it exploitation like Ring girls or Topless Models? 

Should they get attacked and have strange people sending obscene messages? 

I think personally that more should be done. I also think that it is not just men. I have had girls on  Twitter asking if they can meet me and yet I would post about music, TV I have watched and I did report and not had anything for a while.

So where should we draw the line? 

Please share below. I'd like to hear your views. 

I think that social media sites should instantly get the law involved. I like the fact that there are organisations stopping Hackers, but we also need to crack down on trolling and inappropriate messages. I do think it should be an offence and they should have a system where they are instantly blocked those who trolling, bullying and being obscene online, so they can't access anything.

Summary

• Be on guard 
• Report straight away
• Block 

I hope you find this blog helpful and you can put Parental Controls on sites and change your Privacy settings too.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X