Summer insecurities

I kind of feel I hit home with feelings of self conscious during the summer in my last post wrote two weeks ago about How I would love to have a beach body, because I say to myself every year when summer comes that, next summer I am going to be flat stomached, more toned and suntanned. 

It gets to summer and wish I could look like the girl I was when I was in my teens and twenties again, but even back then I thought, at the time, I looked plump compared to other girls my age, and friends of mine.

Yet seeing photos of those times I was not plump at all, and it is all to do with my mind and how I have often see myself. I think we can be so cruel to ourselves in ways, that if it was someone saying these things to us, of what we felt we wouldn't stand for it. 

Summer insecurities are very common and many hide away from it because they are not happy with themselves, and we I think as we get older, well in my case anyway, the feelings of being insecure can become a lot stronger rather than decrease, as we continue to grow as adults. 

However now, there are some real good swimming costumes for larger size women or I should say curvey now, than before which actually hides your unhappy areas away, like your stomach and waist, and great if you are big boobed like me. 

When I first developed breasts I hated them, and I would do all I could to hide them, and I hated going bra shopping and I did find it very embarrassing when looking for bras with my mum, as she wouldn't be quiet about it, and I felt I remember somewhat exposed.

I rarely ever and even now I don't wear a bikini, as I don't feel comfortable or feel I have the body to wear one. 

I remembering feeling when my boobs started growing, like "I am not ready for these please take them away", and I remember at Primary school, yes that is when they started to develop around when I was 9 or 10 years old, and this girl saying as I was getting changed for PE, "It's about time you were a bra isn't it" and I remember thinking "No I don't" as if in denial that I had some horrible things growing out of my chest. 

I remember my first holiday to Menorca and wearing my first bra and I did feel very self conscious as if everyone could see it, yet I would go on holiday with women who were my mum and dad's friends and would go topless, so you'd think I would be in some way used to it, but I wasn't. 

I have often dreamed about being a beach babe in a bikini, and do feel low when I see images of very slim women strutting their stuff on Instagram, but then remind myself that it is just an image and we all have insecurities about ourselves and that is more to do with being healthy rather than, how you look. 

So if you feel insecure this summer then please try not to, try not to compare yourself and just remember and write them down all the things you do like about yourself, as this can work wonders, and stick them on a wall, take a photo or save onto your phone, so you can remind yourself of these whenever you feel unhappy about yourself. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X