Handling The Nerves/Hearing yourself Speak

I remember when I heard myself for the first time. My friend had a camcorder and I was shocked by hearing myself and the fact that it was cringing, was an understatement. 

Then when I heard Diana speak and how she had elocution lessons made me feel that I am not the only one who suffered with nerves when speaking out. So did her Great Father law the Queens father and had help with speaking to world and the whole of Britain and it can really effect your confidence and I hated the way I spoke. 

Yet as a young girl, performing in shows as I had dancing lessons and did performances in school and the dance teacher would put a yearly show and I loved it and I wasn't nervous at all and it is strange that when I heard myself, I wanted to be invisible and then as I began to do Youtube videos I got used to it. I found myself say "You know" like a thousand times and er and um. 

I used a Dictaphone to practice speaking and began to laugh at my voice. I had the micky taken out of my voice because I'd stutter and would laugh but deep down it was affecting me and began to move away from that. People will think that it is just a joke but when it does make you want to hide away you know that these people will continue and when I would give back they didn't like it and I suppose they felt that it made then feel better. 

I mean some of it was funny but when I felt, when I stammered, like I wanted to go home and glad that I lost contact with them. My real friends would be supportive. It was work colleagues and we did have fab times but when you feel them smirking and felt uncomfortable, I decided to lose contact. I suffer with social anxiety and I now work on Hospital radio and I actually love it and really has helped with my confidence. 

I heard myself sing and I didn't think I was too bad and no I will never be Charlotte Church or Katherine Jenkins but wasn't like a cat screaming as I thought and I do get nervous doing my show but enjoy it at the same time and I love music and as a child I wouldn't always speak. Talking has always been a struggle and when someone would talk to me either my mum or brother would talk for me and now my son does the same when someone talks to him and so I encourage and he is never rude, he still learning about conversation and I feel he will struggle talking in front of others but again it is a skill that can grow and being around the right people. 

I mean David Beckham I remember hearing on Match of the Day for the first time and he had the micky taken out of him and I felt he handled it impeccably and I am sure it bothered him. I mean he is human. He took it and spoke via his skill in football and that is often the best way. 

So if you find it a shock when you hear your voice then one tip is, to find a song that you can listen to and sing to, record your voice via your mobile phone and read. That is what has helped me and I loved acting. That really did helped and enjoyed being in shows and plays.  

So use your voice, never hide away. That is not the answer and your voice is just as important to listen to, as the next person. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Building Your Social Confidence

This something I've had to work on. I do still get nervous when meeting with people. I like to rehearse in my head of what to say and talk about. 

I have had a embarrassing moments when chatting. I almost choked once eating a bit of cake and gagged and forgot what I wanted to say and just felt so self aware of trying to talk and nothings coming out and could end up spitting cake at the people I was talking to.

There have been times where I have stuttered, yet when working in a Call Centre was fine with what to say, it came to me naturally. I can take a joke and had people take the mick out of my voice but deep down making me feel so self conscious and been afraid to speak. 

I do feel a lot better now. Yes I still stammer and will talk fast and in a job interview once and kept interrupting and saw the look on the other persons face. My mind often goes at a such a pace that my voice can't always keep up. 

My the colour of my teeth. At school I had yellow teeth from drinking to tea and so the dentist advised me to cut it down. I never knew that the Queen Mother had bad teeth and not that I feel that is okay but was able to handle and change my teeth so they are white. 

My height would affect me as I am petite but gotten a way with paying child fare up to my twenties and no exaggeration and would feel bad but I would be honest but they'd say no and allowed me to pay child fare and tickets when I was with my friends at the Rugby team I used to follow. This, going to sports events has helped me be find in social situations,

I'd have the micky taken out of me but it was funny and really came out of my shell. 

So it can be around the wrong kind of people, who just like the sound of their own voice and had people talk down to me. I was in one job and one of my colleagues kept answering for me when talking to other colleagues and it really was bugging me. 

I could act in front of people and dance, but reading out in front of people can be my worst nightmare. 

When I am doing my radio show I write a script to help me when speaking and I am okay with it.

The worse thing is to avoid socialising, but find a way to control the fear and it can get better. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

 

Giving and Accepting Compliments

So today I took my son out for breakfast and gave the Waitress a compliment as she looked really stylish and my husband looked at me as if I was pulling an egg out of my mouth. So is it okay to give compliments and why is so alien to some? 

I feel it is a part of my personality. I do admire other people and mainly women because it is nice to see people make an effort and what I can do to feel better about myself. Also I bought make up and so don't want to tip it away so not everyday, but to mix my days up I will put some on. I have had compliments when working in call centre. I think it is nice and why can't we compliment one another?

It is nice to give myself pleasure and when I first started Vlogging (checkout: (235) Typical London Gal Carrie Holmes - YouTube) I got a complimented about my eye make up. It is good to give a confidence boost. Not for the sake of it, but say that I like their outfit or I work on Epsom Hospital Radio and given compliments to my fellow presenters as they all do a brilliant shows and feel privileged that I get to do a show too and hope people in the hospital listen to it, a long with those who have internet. 

A compliment is just that, A Compliment and always grateful and when people read and like my blogs it is really uplifting. 

So why it alien to others? 

May it is because they not sure if it is or not and don't know what it is. That isn't being viscous but honest feeling I feel when someone can't take or give a compliment and may not have experienced in receiving kindness and also feel, awkward. 

I think it is good to be nice and my son gives compliments and it really makes my heart melt when he does and I know he means it. 

That can also why some people feel awkward when it comes to compliments they don't know what to say back and if someone is actually meaning it.

It doesn't mean not to give any compliment because people find it alien but for that reason because to me I find it can be just gracious and build friendships and means you've given that person your time in complimenting them.

So what is your view in regards to compliments. I'd love to hear your views. You can use he Comments box below.

Many thanks for reading

Carrie X