Hello it is Day 3 and feels like it should be the second day and sure is going fast this week, but enjoying it. I like to take on tasks that are outside my comfort zone and there is so much I want to share.
I suffer with anxiety a lot, like I am always fluttering to check a trillen times to check that I have everything I need each day to get to and from places. and trying not to go into panic zone.
It can really throw me off key yet I am learning to relax and not frett and just take my time.
I often feel that I am not good enough and that then makes me ask questions like, "Who would want me?" and "Am I attractive" "I can't connect with people all of the time", but yet I know so many people so I have to rein myself in and reflect in my head that, it is just me seeing, analysing and then, I do go over well, "I have a roof over my head" and "I have worked and met so many people and made them laugh" so I must be doing something right, "I can look good when I have down days about myself " and is the niggly thoughts that can really get to me.
The Anxiety then forms, but getting to grips with it. Like to day I eaten more than what I normally do and felt extra hungry today, so I did a workout whilst looking after my son Henry and gave me a great burst of, "See you know you can do it" as I like many avoid exercise but when I do it, I enjoy it and, it is in my head. It's understanding the pattern of my anxiety I feel. I do argue with the inner critic, and go through it and pull myself through.
Today I feared going to have my Smear Test and was dreading it, because of the clamp thing they use to swab, so rearranged it for next week at a better time.
I do take medication to help but for me that is not always the answer, but feel I have a good balance now and did my first 10,000 steps walk this week now in 2022 and it felt so good. This then has got in touch with my happy side of the brain and want to do more to help my lack of self confidence which can cause my anxiety and it can go both ways.
I really do hope these blogs do help you and please leave a comment below and I will be writing more until Sunday and then I will plan more challenges that helps with my Anxiety and just now as I finish this book I watched a Portrait video of Henry my son got me looking a myself and not liking what I see.
Yet, I am looking and gonna use my insecurities to stir me to keep up with walking and doing exercise. I am going to do some self care that helps, like moisturise my face, dehair parts of my body tomorrow when I have my shower, gonna put some make up on and film it, and keep and go over the goals I have set and add and change parts of them.
So more to come tomorrow and so thanks for your time so far, and going to do more work on myself to stop looking at myself and giving myself a hard time.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
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