When we look at ourselves in the mirror and see an image we don't want to see it can hit you with a punch, and we can be our own worst Critic, and I am guilty of that. I have taken in out on others and feel bad in writing that but I would, because I needed approval from someone else to help make me feel better.
Anger can be caused because we question others, example "Why would anyone want to be my friend?" when we feel we look like soneone being pulled through a hedge backwards. We criticize our clothes, the hair on our faces and compare a lot. This then can turn into be resentful, and then be constantly wanting someone to tell us "You look good" and "You are funny and do have a personality we like".
Self development is the key to get control of the inner critic and shut it down. If there are things that really upset you then address them and take time on yourself. Having a hot bath with bath salts, taking your dog out to walk and put a bit of make up on if it helps and if someone is not making you feel good, as it is a cause when we lack confidence then talk to them about it. Let people to know how you feel. Get to know others who are confident, but not those who rub it into your face but someone that you can click with and chat about anything or everything. It can work wonders for your confidence and bounce off of them.
Finding people you can relate to can help and addressing the feelings will help prevent anger. What is about the people around you that gets you angry. There are still mix feelings when it comes to those who don't feel good about themelves. They aren't seeking attention but want someone to listen and have your back, whatever it is that is causing the anger, and we then become jealous, and like Mel Robbins says, that isn't enough of self worth to go around.
I do have a book about Anger and it says that, by how you were bought up can be why you get angry because perhaps they were angry when it came to certain things. Like getting frustrated that a skill they are teaching is not being taken notice of by the next generation, when if we study ourselves we can end up copying certain behaviours.
Discussing it is better than a shouting match and so, if they don't listen then when they want you to listen to them instead, make them know that "Everyone is allowed to use their voice", but with a steady voice. I have often gone out, and when I was living in the South Coast I wouild go and sit by the seaside where I lived at the time. I'd pop to the shops, I would go to another room to calm down and give myself 5 minutes to just chill and then if it was because I came home angry, apologise and lay it to rest/
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
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