When life takes over and don't get enough done

When we create to do lists, it can be overshadowed by the things we haven't written or typed up. Life! Example your GP contacts you to have a consultation, like myself, because I have a whole in my heart have to have checks on my health, and these are life tasks that can stop us in our steps in getting our to do lists completed. 

Life will come before anything else and I had to put my schedule on hold because of my son a few weeks ago, had chicken pox's and so had to put my to do list on hold that week, and get some time in the evenings. The inner critic, can begin to talk to  you, in your mind, but I silence it by saying to it "I will get the items on my to do list completed, it just won't happen in that week because of life". 

Flexibility is a must for me, and even if it means doing it before bedtime, it will get done. I give myself a cut of time of 8 to 9pm, and then it is bed. Sleeping well is important, and having a stable routine can help too, as each night, I will shut my window, then pull down my blind and close my curtains to get myself ready for  good nights sleep.

I will put my night gear on and set my alarm for the next day. 

I make my lists for each day the night before and will schedule items on Sundays for the week ahead. 

I prepare myself, should this change because of life, like what days don't I have appointments on, and using google calendar to block schedule, and I go through my weekly plan using OneNote, but also write a written plan in a notebook and what items can be put on hold and be spread across the week and month. 

I set Quarterly goals, along with my days and weeks of what I would like to accomplish. 

Paying can effect our confidence, especially if you are on low income. I find spreading my money I spend out, helps and if I need to pay for an item that has broken and guarantee has ended, I have money to replace that item.

Technology can become faulty, and so it is good to have paper around, in case that happens and making a note of what I can do by hand, that I still get bits on my list completed. 

I will go through what I can do with my phone, what I can write on paper, until the device that has stopped working, is fixed, "That's if it can be", but that can stop us in our tracks and feel that we have accomplished nothing, and for me that can effect how I feel for the rest of the day or week. 

 Always check the guarantee on technology and if it can be replaced with no extra cost, then it is sense to take advantage of that. We can't help devices that stop working, but what we can control is on how we deal with it. If a site has an APP can be used, on any device, like writing I often will use google docs, rather than Word.  

I find that when devices stop working we tend to blame ourselves, and yet it is technology. It is often unpredictable. They are manmade, and so no item will last forever, in my experience, as I used to be a Customer/Technical Advisor for a manufacturer called, Philips and would help people use their Digital Boxes and products, and so, in doing this, technology will always break down and we aren't be blamed, as we buy items hoping that they will last a long time, but they never will. 

So, take away the pressure and get back to the to do list, once you've completed life tasks, and never beat yourself up over it, that is life.

I am doing a Life Coaching programme, that I have set up, called "2022 Project" so if you'd like to check out this content please go over to my site: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com

I have also created videos too, as part of this programme, so go over to my main Youtube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

 

  

The way we live our lives/Imposter Syndrome/Comparing

The way we live our lives can have a influence on how we feel, and last week my anxiety really hit me and I was helping out as a Playworker at a local school and found it too much. I am glad I did it but felt overwhelmed by it, and need to tell myself "Stop diving into the deep end and take your time".

With opportunities I tend to jump in with both feet and can be my biggest downfall, yet I still did the work, I still put the hours in and still learned from it. Looking after children all day can be a challenge and so from that if it was shorter hours in the mindset I was, would have been better and gradually built up my hours whilst I got back into that working routine. 

It has been a while since I did any outside work and so it was bound to play on my anxiety and it took over. This damaged my confidence and I began to see I suffering from imposter syndrome and felt "Not good enough, I am rubbish and how come my colleague can be super confident I chose the wrong job", and it went on and on in my head. 

Am I good enough? 

I began to clock watch and felt that I couldn't do the hours and it really hit me, "This isn't the job for me", yet as said I still turned up, but decided that a similar job that I can do for less hours may workout to be better for me. 

I haven't given up but moved on and now ready for the next opportunity. 

I need to stop comparing myself to bring me down but to use it to built it up. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

 

 

Building confidence through our daily habits

When it comes to confidence it can be habits we have implemented that gets us down. Example nip picking at the way we look, what we eat and drink, being behind on work and so what we do in our lives if it is causing you to have negative thoughts then it is time to make changes to your life. 

It could be changing the mirror as I find the ones in changing rooms, for example is not always flattering so use a mirror at home to look at yourself, or buy one that gives a real image of yourself. I find the rectangle mirror can make you look bigger than what you are and same with cameras. 

Choose the correct the correct angle to take a selfie and if you feel make up will help then put it on. If you find Jewelry helps you to feel good about yourself then wear some. 

I wake up with such bad breath that it makes me really self conscious so each morning I brush my teeth as soon I wake up in the morning. I used to hate showing people my teeth, because drinking a lot of teeth made my teeth look yellow and a couple of girls in my year would laugh about that and snigger.

Now I drink one to two cups a day, two cups of coffee and drink some water.

This has made a huge difference, and now I have made a list of food I no longer want to eat and food I do and want to add. This is because I have had a donut and then biscuits and made me feel self conscious by eating these foods, and been effecting my stomach so cutting certain foods and drinks plays a part in my confidence.

Making simple changes like this can really help, and just going though what you need and listening to your mind and your gut to make difference in feeling good or bad about yourself. 

I hope this helps you and honestly it has taken a long time for me to be kind to myself, but glad to be in that place. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

 

Giving things up in your life that is destroying your confidence

Is there things in your life that effects your confidence, like at work and you see it piling up, and you just not sure what to do with and worried about asking? 

There were times in my working life where I was like that, and so I would ask for further training, I would make it clear that I had no idea as to what I was doing. 

Often people that have been in jobs for a long time forget that they were a novice themselves once upon a time go, and so if they help but look unhappy because you've asked for help, then that is a problem they need to sort out. and it is important to have an answer rather than wait until they told you, you did something wrong. 

So giving up having to tip toe around people who don't want to help you, when its their job to so, don't let it bother you and ask. It's better to make sure rather than assuming, and just keep note of what they tell you that will help you in your job, when you are not sure. 

Dieting, where do we begin? 

I have been on diet, when looking back, from childhood as I was a fussy eater but I was always conscious of my size. I wasn't ever overly heavy in weight, or anything, no disrespect to those that are, I  just had what they would call  "Puppy fat" and felt like there was nothing good about myself at one time, and so when I became a teenager I was more conscious of my size and bothered by the way I looked and so tried so many times to lose weight, but now I am happy to say, dealing with it better, and looking at myself in a different light, which is "I ain't so bad after all", but it has taken 40 years on, for me to see it that way. I look is fine, and I need to be respectful to myself, as I do have good traits, and not be against myself. I am lucky to have what I have in my life, and it could be worse. 

Dieting is so different now and has seen as negative, because of quick fix ideas on losing weight, and it really about moderation. 

I food did effect my confidence, and felt that it was source of all evil at one time, but I began educating myself with books and made a difference to having a good diet. I today, felt I am eating too much chocolate so bought myself a healthy yogurt for tonight and to make better choices. 

Confidence comes with in, and we often so focused on the outside instead of listening to the inside of our bodies.

Getting fit and exercising, can be a burden rather than enjoyable, does it effect confidence?

It can do if you obsess over it. just like diet and begin to count every calorie, we can start to over train and doing to much that your body can't handle it. For me exercise is important, and that I do it when I feel I want to, and if I don't want to do any I don't. 

Being a mother I do a lot of playing football as my son is full of energy.

It is all about getting in touch with your body, and what it wants, and that again is the same as dieting.

Noone wants to feel like crap and I feel if you do it again moderately it can be beneficial. Yet if you begin to the point you can't walk the next day, it can take over the enjoyment and it has to be something you know you are going to love to do, and not dread it. 

When we see others exercise, we instantly compare ourselves. We it can reduce the endorphins rather than increase, so don't pressure, but do it when you have that burst to do some, do it and keep note of it. Set goals for yourself but what your body can handle. 

Jealousy and begrudging? 

Often when we see friends doing well for themselves and we are still stuck in a job we hate, for an example, feel jealous and feel we have nothing to offer and begin to belittle ourselves that we can lash out when it isn't their thought, but is a problem your having not them. 

Do we want to see people we care about do badly? Of course we don't and their is space for everyone to succeed, and is wasted energy and if it is getting you down then, it is time to make changes. That is keep a journal and write down why they have achieved so much, and you haven't.

Start setting plans for yourself and take yourself out. Learn a skill you have been wanting to do, and take the plunge to do it. 

Sitting within four walls all of the time, is not going to help you. Be supportive of your friends and learn from them, and be inspired by others doing well. We can often start to see fault because it makes us feel better than to admire someone. 

We all have flours that can effect our confidence so taking steps to make yourself better, like going for a job you really want and not because they've offered a job to you, as it is "Better than nothing", and follow your dreams. 

Being happy takes a lot for some people and I know that, because I have been there, but do you want those things to linger or deal with head on? I know what I would choose. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

 

Day 7: Self Confidence Blog Challenge/How did this challenge go

Hello and welcome to my last blog of my 7 day blog challenge and I have to admit it was a struggle, but here we are. It has meant writing late, but helps me evaluate my writing and blogs to see how long each blog takes and how to cut down my blogs and good to have blogs that I wanted to share done rather than writing once a week and being behind on my blogs.

It helps build up my confidence which this site is all about and how I can use this to help you my audience who may be struggling with confidence too. 

I just went through pictures of myself for my daily blog I write and that was a challenge too but really enjoying my daily blogs and so go and check the out via this link: 

I was going to talk about crying but I wrote this in my previous blog and so wanted to write about this challenge to inspire you. I want to from This month February set a challenge each month. 

It has tired me out and I felt burned out and so took a step back from my other blogs I write and have two blogs sites I have to work on my daily and this self confidence blog and gives my audience, you, to take to catch up, as I know you have busy lives too and so don't need two many blogs to get through in your inboxes, and so next week it will be once a week. 

So many tbanks and tell what challenges have you set yourself. Pleaae comment below. 

Carrie X 

Day 6 Self Confidence blog challenge/How to manage our emotions

Hello, so it is Saturday night and here I am at my desk writing my 6th blog and so got my last blog to write tomorrow. 

The Challenge was to blog for 7 comsecutive days to expand my blog and had lots of ideas and so wanted to do a whole full week to have them written and publised and I hope you have found them helpful and helping just one person is making a different to me. 

Yet Saturday's is a night off for me and Sunday's I don't write any live blogs and so I will post my last two, on Monday, and Last one is going to be Tuesday.

So in this blog is all about Managing Your Emotions. 

First of all is cryng a sign of weakness? 

I was told that once, and it was someone who I had a relationship with, and for me that was insulting to my personality because for me if something happens in my life like losing someone I like to grieve which will help it better but also I do feel strongly about things, and so no crying is not a sign of weakness it can actually show that the person is the exact opposite. They feel it and whatever it is they are crying for, they had really loved that person and helps the next generation that it is okay. 

Now can someone fake it that they are upset or angry because they have lashed out at someone?

Yes, because of me as a kid I would use it to not being in trouble as my parents were quite strict and so I would fake cry and my nan would say "Here comes the firing engine", yes nan thank you. 

My son gets angry when he is upset because he finds it very hard when he can't have what he wants and will lash out, so keeping calm tell him "It's okay" because he often sees it that we are stopping his enjoyment, like his tablet when it hads to be put on charge, and so I say "Its on charge" and distract him from wanting it and then he calms down, but cries to see if it will change that his tablets on charge, but he needs to understand that it is a device and so won't work if not charged. I often think he gets confused of when we take it away when he is naughty to when we say no because its run out of charge. 

My son is fully confident and when he knows he is good at something he keeps going and never gives up and wish I had been as confident as he is, because he very fearless. As a kid I always were looking behind my shoulder and scared of everything. 

Lacking confidence can effect your emotions, and make you paranoid that others may feel the same about you. and feel unworthy when gett upset the other person is angry about it. For me when I am low I need compassion, and have someone to listen. It can make us not wanting to look at ourselves and avoid seeing people because of getting judged by others. If I failed at dancing it would really get me down but that was because I enjoyed it and wanted to do my best. 

When it comes to anger though is to find yourself a room you can gain some composure and what is making you angry about yourself.

If it is because of the way you look or feel unworthy dig deep into why and when did it first start. 

Do you feel you are out of your depth when you are around other people who seem to have it going on?

When I tried doing the second fooball coaching qualification I quit, I felt that I needed to do more coaching before I did my second badge, and felt out of my depth in doing the second one. 

I would like to pass my level 2 again, and have more belief in myself to do so but should have kept at level 1 and not jumped in too quickly. 

So take your time and map it out. This really helps me and have written about this in my EBooks. Check them out on amazon, under the names Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes. 

Take on challenges, but at your own pace and give yourself time to take each step gradually and if there is something you are not sure of, to ask for help. I did this when working for a entertainments company and was unsure about the attractions  I would sell tickets for so asked for extra training. 

So I hope this blog helps you and my last one for the blog challenge will be posted tomorow. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Dressing To Build A Positive Mindset

When you look in the mirror who do you see? How does it make you feel? What is it that you are wearing that brings you down?

Please comment below this blog and be as honest as you can be. 

I today feel confident because I stylish pair of leggins and a nice smart patterned top from Primark, and put some make up on. 

Yet I know when I take my make up off, it is going to be "Oh its you again", yet not so bothered because I did recently have a hair cut and that made such a difference and not seeing the same old hair and the same old look, and actually feel like I can give myself credit. 

I have an appointment and so wanted to look like I am alive and can take anything on today. That is the thing, if there is some areas about yourself then it is time to change. Build yourself a capsule wardrobe and have fun in styling different outfits together. 

This year I want to make some real changes, like I want to have a place of my own and work towards it, I am wanting to do some work during the school holidays, I want to start going to rugby again, as the team I support the London Broncos are playing locally and really hope I see some old friends from the days when they would be playing in a field and take my son. 

I used to love planning out my wardrobe for rugby and loved the whole build up towards going. Getting my shirt ready (team merchandise) and would walk all the way from Richmond to Twickenham, and made a load of friends that have stayed in my heart, and hope that I do get to see them again, if they are still going to see the London Broncos.

When it comes to confidence it has to be within, do you need new underwear, and I like making sure I have the correct bra for me, as when we fall out of a bra, it can be one embarrasing, and feel inadequat. so buy the bra that truly fits you and then build your dressing style by doing that. 

As our body change, we need to update our underwear and I have used spandex, because thtey make a difference. For everydady though build different looks, for example, taking the dog for a walk, put out the rubbish, decorating and going into town to meeting friends for drinks. Items that are long lasting and stylish with the other items you have in your closet. Go through what doesn't match. 

Save up on items and plan out your  wardrobe. I have a new cardigan today that I bought from a Charity shop and suits me really well. 

So find items that flatter not just because they cover you up. 

When I first developed boobs I hated them and hated buying a bra. I wasn't ready for the next stage of my life, and I was very body concious and would wear oversized t-shirts to hide them, but stuck out and prefered wearing lycra elasticated vest tops instead, but then when they got bigger didn't fit. It took me a long time to get used to having a big bust.

Having my Period, sorry for the TMI I would feel very uncomfortable, and then turned into a bit of a tomboy as I reached my teen years. 

But subconciously still had a Capsule Wardrobe. It is sorting your clothes to mix 'n' match, and not buying outfits that wouldn't go with anything I already have. 

So, have a good sort of your clothes and there are some really good videos on Youtube that talks about styling and how to get the most out of your clothes. Trinny London and Sheerluke are my favourites. 

I do videos on Fashion too and so please check them out vis this link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

I also write another blog on a wordpress blog I write. Check this link out here: https://carriesversitilefashion.wordpress.com

Lastly have a wonderful day and use clothes to build you up, not down.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X