Believing in yourself and be okay when you get it wrong

I always have that inner critic going and feel that I am never getting it right, example what to give to my son for dinner, and what I should wear and should I wear make up or shouldn't I and it can be tiring and this morning because I was waiting for a bus and had to wait a while decided to walk but typical as soon as I did the bus I was waiting for goes passed. 

I have started to realise that if I get it wrong doesn't matter because this will teach me to get it right and listen to my gut instinct and have faith in myself. 

Confidence isn't just about wearing the clothes that suit me or make me happy, but how I am with myself and to be kinder rather being critical to myself all of the time, it can ware me down and feel that I have so much going on in my head that I need to take a break from the self doubt I carry everyday. 

How I manage though I will look what is bothering and journal, I will walk with some music playing and I will read a book and listen to podcasts of others that have felt like I have, like Mel Robbins, Vearn Cotton and Diary of a CEO. 

I change my inner doubt in a positive way in that I use it to make sure I plan and write things down and remember the things I need daily, like my purse and keys and phone. I make sure I am on time with appointments and I completely forgot that it was my son school trip, and thankfully got a phone call the day before and has made sure I make sure I write all appointments down and on my phone. 

The school trip was a good day and feel thankful that the school phoned me and next time I will make sure put in up a board and going to make myself a notice board or get a wall calendar again to help, but not allow to bother my day and I believe in fate and feel it is on my side rather than against me. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

Typical London Gal 

Expectations of yourself and lowering them

When there is so much expectation on us we can often feel like hiding and hopefully be invisible. We don't want people to see us that we aren't robots but human beings and so we can only handle so much. We feel bogged down and like screaming "I CAN'T DO THIS", and then feel terrible for screaming out and then makes us feel even more shallow. 

I have been there when working in a Call Centre and it was when there were riots going on, and there was news that they would be coming to where we were working in Kingston and just stood and said "I can't deal with this" and so was asked if wanted to go home, and I did. Even now I am unsure as to what this was about, but I felt this fear that people going into shops taking stuff and wrecking businesses. 

As a mum can become stressful and feel that there is a lot of judgement of how you should parent and feel that we aren't getting it right. 

This I think back was myself making me feel overwhelmed and that I had made a mindset and habit of putting myself down all the time. It can be draining when you feel no self worth, but then do I want to be feeling like this for the rest of my life? No! I feel so good about me now and because I have taken myself back a bit and gone through the insecurities I have and thought, well how can I overcome this? And it is putting yourself first. As I write that I get the little voice, "Should I say that?", but I do I feel good in my skin and lowered the expectation of myself. 

Where I would before would not take photos of myself now do and I even put together a photo book of selfies and this worked and feel that "I am not that bad after all".

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Typical London Gal 

 

Facing a mirror

There was a time where I would avoid mirrors, because it would really make myself as I have been like an enemy to myself. I'd get so upset and would look at others think how come they look so good, but I don't?

That is the first thing, not comparing. It is draining to not want to face my face and would be my own worse critic. Looking at myself from top to bottom, and thinking "Why do I look like this?", and "Wheres my confidence?".

You don't just find confidence, because it is a feeling habit that we have done since a kid and thought being an adult these feelings would go away but for doing this habit for so long, took while to shake it off. Is to do it because we have been influenced? It can be, and being told that I have put on weight, which did happen, hard. Being overweight did bother me and so I had to make changes as it was making avoid looking at myself. I began to take on exercise, this was the best I needed. I started to look at the portions I was eating and realised I was eating big with each meal, yet a year before I was losing a lot weight. This was because I was burning it off through the work I was doing. I was working at a holiday camp and so was on a my feet a lot. 

Birth control was the culprit at the time, because as soon as I stopped taking it the weight piled off. 

Is weight everything? It can play a factor on how we feel about ourselves, and it did for me. I began to find it hard to buy clothes that fitted me and stopped going out because I was so conscious of it. I felt inadequate. 

Now though 12 years or so later I never felt as good as I do now, I like the clothes I have and putting on make up has made a difference, but also feel better when I don't put it on, I think about my skin and protect it and so allow my face and body to breathe and really take care of myself. And it is that, that can make a huge difference. 

So I can now look in the mirror and no longer avoid them. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Typical London Gal   

 

 

What changes can you make, that will get rid of stress and stop anxiety from taking over that can effect your confidence

Since a kid when I would be clumsy and forgetful, I would begin to panic. This would make what I did seem ten times worth that what really wasn't that bad. I once spilt nail varnish remover on a table we had when we lived in a flat on a housing estate and because nail varnish remover had acid in it, it took the wooded paint off the table. 

I did it to show I can be responsible, so I was actually showing off, because I saw someone else do it, I wanted to follow. Basically I was taking my nail varnish off to put some more on and as soon as it happened and I saw the face on my parents, I ran into the bathroom, thinking "I don't want to be told off" but as I spilt the remover of course my family saw it spill,  and yes I got a telling off. 

Now I am an adult, I can now reason with it, and to say I learned my lesson, and rarely paint my nails, and when I do, I rarely use remover. 

This effected my confidence with using nail polish remover, because I am still clumsy but feel a little distrust in myself to do so. I know I can use it without spilling it,  but I have spilt again on carpet and so I feel me and remover will always have a love hate relationship, and it is because I need to change my relationship with. I know now to use it when in the bathroom over the sink, but took me a while to be logical about it. It is a habit, and like habits they do tend to take us back and I am still clumsy but better and not being so bloody naive.

This is made me less stressed about it and about other things, like leaving my bag in a shop, and did this once in Tesco's where I live, left my rucksack with my laptop with it, but luckily it was found and given in. 

Do I still use that rucksack? Yes,

Have I done the same since? No 

So have I learned? Yes

I did feel myself want to panic? Yes, 

Was anything taken?No. 

My anxiety started, but I took control, and that has changed me in being more reliable when it carrying my possessions, and sort it out before the panic jumps in. 

If something is stressing you out constantly then changes need to be maid because it will effect your wellbeing and your confidence, because it's gonna constantly play in your mind, until you take action. 

I have an inner strength now since those incidents, because it raised my awareness. I will take my time rather than rushing, and value myself in remembering stuff and no longer living in a day dream. 

When we beat ourselves up, all it does is cause restrictions to not do that again, in case the same thing happens, but believe in yourself and make changes, so now when put nail varnish on and take off with remover I know to take my time and over the sink. Nothing drastic has to change, just be more logical about it. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

Typical London Gal  

 

 

Body Confidence and look after your health

To build our confidence we have to help ourselves to become healthy, and make you happy. Giving your self some time to look after your skin and haircare. I like to treat myself to nice shower gels and perfumes but don't over do it, just the amount that makes me feel good about myself. 

Take supplements. I take Garlic, Vitamin D, Iron and multivitamin, because I kept feeling fatigue and I also take legal prescribed medication, for my mental health, but taking supplements can still help and make a different to what you need. 

Look after your skin. I love Skincare as I have suffered with heat rashes, heat lumps and dry peeling skin and can make me really self conscious, so I will take my make up off in the evening, as I would often leave it on, I don't wear make up everyday, because I like to allow my skin to breath, and so I don't wear make up everyday. I do use face creams, washes, scrubs and show gels, and night creams. 

I look after my hair and don't wash it everyday, but keep my hair hydrated by using refresher sprays and serums, and blow dry my hair after every wash. It has made a difference as in the summer I can get itchy flaky sculp so I take hair of that, as I love my hair. 

Doing these things along with healthy food, can make a huge difference. 

I am still doing a Life Coaching Programme "The Summer Project 2022", and so check out my main Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg and my website, https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com    

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Typical London Gal 

Becoming stronger that my confidence has turned a corner

There have been times where I couldn't bear looking at myself because it would break my heart of what I saw. I felt that I was disformed and would get upset when clothes shopping. So what has changed? Me!

I was hating these feelings and felt fed up of not liking myself. So what has changed? Me! 

Appearance isn't everything and I have a brain that works and I can walk and run, and could dance and it was doing things where I'd feel alive that helped build my confidence and it was reaching out to others to look at me and have their approval for me to feel good. 

I began to make good positive changes, like making an effort each day and put some make up on, would get fit rather than thinking about it and not moving, and now I am finally happy in my own skin. I can look in the mirror and I not bothered about wearing make up all the time and like being with myself and don't fed up of what I see. 

Life is full of challenges and accepting yourself is one of them. I don't want to be fed up with myself for anymore. It is draining and so I had to get a hold of myself. and make changes, like not sleeping in all of the time, not eating healthy and living by each amount of money I had earned and lost sense of myself.

I have had to get to know myself and who I truly am rather than being someone else for other people. You have to find that out. Who are you? What do you belief? and what is your style? 

I love being in my leggins and in summer found my love of shorts again. It is what helps me be me and not attracting other people, but I can look at myself and say "This is me and I am okay with that".

I have had to be strong and that has been the key to how I feel now. Of course I still get moments where I still avoid a mirror, but not so much. I like being me and am down to earth, and that is what I want people to see me as, not someone who is always giving myself a hard time, but when you accept yourself others will follow and that gives me such power, that we all are beautiful and unique and that is okay. 

Check out Mel Robbins book The High 5 habit, as this is brilliant method that can help your confidence too and be able to see the goodness in you and get rid of the bad. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

 

Understanding the mind and gaining control

I at the moment doing a Life Coaching Programme called "The Summer Project 2022" to help you have a better Summer and a better life, so please check out my blog linked here: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com

What I will do is to add this blog linked to the above blog site as part of my programme, and to my Pinterest Pin to share whilst I do this project. https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thetypicalLondongal/

So, this blog is all about Understanding the mind and gaining control, and to do that you need to sit down and spend sometime of where you are feeling now today, but also go through assets you have, example, you like your Living room but there is a room you hate going into because it may be messy and you are trying to avoid it and feel overwhelmed every time you go in there. I would avoid my bank account, but to gain control I now check it everyday and give myself a target now of how much I want to save each month and this has made me worrying about my finances a lot less. 

This can effect how we feel and our mind, as it makes us feel low because we can't get ourselves together to sort this room out or any area in your life you are wanting to ignore, but you want to get in touch with. 

I wrote a book about how to make one change a day in your life on amazon, and just making one a change can still make all he difference, rather than allow to dictate your feelings and your mind. 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Things-Change-one-day-time-ebook/dp/B0916KDN9H/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3TL3CMAPUOVB0&keywords=EBooks+by+Carrie+Holmes&qid=1657702366&s=digital-text&sprefix=ebooks+by+carrie+holmes%2Cdigital-text%2C84&sr=1-2

The other thing to do is to separate items into categories, but if this is too much then just put one item in the box and just do one category at a time. If you not liking your appearance then check out your clothes perhaps they aren't your style and I find I do this, I go buy price rather than what benefit this item will have one me. 

If you feel slumped it is because you just need to do a makeover and revamp your closet. 

What gives you value? and what items and fashion suit you. If you can afford why not get a stylist and watch Trinny London and Melissa Murrell they do a lot of videos to styling and its that simple and the mind when it sees mess creates mess into your life but once you start gradually making changes can help the mind feel at piece and will get control of it, rather than feeling low because you life is chaotic, and not a good rhythm.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Typical London Gal