Day 7: Self Confidence Blog Challenge/How did this challenge go

Hello and welcome to my last blog of my 7 day blog challenge and I have to admit it was a struggle, but here we are. It has meant writing late, but helps me evaluate my writing and blogs to see how long each blog takes and how to cut down my blogs and good to have blogs that I wanted to share done rather than writing once a week and being behind on my blogs.

It helps build up my confidence which this site is all about and how I can use this to help you my audience who may be struggling with confidence too. 

I just went through pictures of myself for my daily blog I write and that was a challenge too but really enjoying my daily blogs and so go and check the out via this link: 

I was going to talk about crying but I wrote this in my previous blog and so wanted to write about this challenge to inspire you. I want to from This month February set a challenge each month. 

It has tired me out and I felt burned out and so took a step back from my other blogs I write and have two blogs sites I have to work on my daily and this self confidence blog and gives my audience, you, to take to catch up, as I know you have busy lives too and so don't need two many blogs to get through in your inboxes, and so next week it will be once a week. 

So many tbanks and tell what challenges have you set yourself. Pleaae comment below. 

Carrie X 

Day 6 Self Confidence blog challenge/How to manage our emotions

Hello, so it is Saturday night and here I am at my desk writing my 6th blog and so got my last blog to write tomorrow. 

The Challenge was to blog for 7 comsecutive days to expand my blog and had lots of ideas and so wanted to do a whole full week to have them written and publised and I hope you have found them helpful and helping just one person is making a different to me. 

Yet Saturday's is a night off for me and Sunday's I don't write any live blogs and so I will post my last two, on Monday, and Last one is going to be Tuesday.

So in this blog is all about Managing Your Emotions. 

First of all is cryng a sign of weakness? 

I was told that once, and it was someone who I had a relationship with, and for me that was insulting to my personality because for me if something happens in my life like losing someone I like to grieve which will help it better but also I do feel strongly about things, and so no crying is not a sign of weakness it can actually show that the person is the exact opposite. They feel it and whatever it is they are crying for, they had really loved that person and helps the next generation that it is okay. 

Now can someone fake it that they are upset or angry because they have lashed out at someone?

Yes, because of me as a kid I would use it to not being in trouble as my parents were quite strict and so I would fake cry and my nan would say "Here comes the firing engine", yes nan thank you. 

My son gets angry when he is upset because he finds it very hard when he can't have what he wants and will lash out, so keeping calm tell him "It's okay" because he often sees it that we are stopping his enjoyment, like his tablet when it hads to be put on charge, and so I say "Its on charge" and distract him from wanting it and then he calms down, but cries to see if it will change that his tablets on charge, but he needs to understand that it is a device and so won't work if not charged. I often think he gets confused of when we take it away when he is naughty to when we say no because its run out of charge. 

My son is fully confident and when he knows he is good at something he keeps going and never gives up and wish I had been as confident as he is, because he very fearless. As a kid I always were looking behind my shoulder and scared of everything. 

Lacking confidence can effect your emotions, and make you paranoid that others may feel the same about you. and feel unworthy when gett upset the other person is angry about it. For me when I am low I need compassion, and have someone to listen. It can make us not wanting to look at ourselves and avoid seeing people because of getting judged by others. If I failed at dancing it would really get me down but that was because I enjoyed it and wanted to do my best. 

When it comes to anger though is to find yourself a room you can gain some composure and what is making you angry about yourself.

If it is because of the way you look or feel unworthy dig deep into why and when did it first start. 

Do you feel you are out of your depth when you are around other people who seem to have it going on?

When I tried doing the second fooball coaching qualification I quit, I felt that I needed to do more coaching before I did my second badge, and felt out of my depth in doing the second one. 

I would like to pass my level 2 again, and have more belief in myself to do so but should have kept at level 1 and not jumped in too quickly. 

So take your time and map it out. This really helps me and have written about this in my EBooks. Check them out on amazon, under the names Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes. 

Take on challenges, but at your own pace and give yourself time to take each step gradually and if there is something you are not sure of, to ask for help. I did this when working for a entertainments company and was unsure about the attractions  I would sell tickets for so asked for extra training. 

So I hope this blog helps you and my last one for the blog challenge will be posted tomorow. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Dressing To Build A Positive Mindset

When you look in the mirror who do you see? How does it make you feel? What is it that you are wearing that brings you down?

Please comment below this blog and be as honest as you can be. 

I today feel confident because I stylish pair of leggins and a nice smart patterned top from Primark, and put some make up on. 

Yet I know when I take my make up off, it is going to be "Oh its you again", yet not so bothered because I did recently have a hair cut and that made such a difference and not seeing the same old hair and the same old look, and actually feel like I can give myself credit. 

I have an appointment and so wanted to look like I am alive and can take anything on today. That is the thing, if there is some areas about yourself then it is time to change. Build yourself a capsule wardrobe and have fun in styling different outfits together. 

This year I want to make some real changes, like I want to have a place of my own and work towards it, I am wanting to do some work during the school holidays, I want to start going to rugby again, as the team I support the London Broncos are playing locally and really hope I see some old friends from the days when they would be playing in a field and take my son. 

I used to love planning out my wardrobe for rugby and loved the whole build up towards going. Getting my shirt ready (team merchandise) and would walk all the way from Richmond to Twickenham, and made a load of friends that have stayed in my heart, and hope that I do get to see them again, if they are still going to see the London Broncos.

When it comes to confidence it has to be within, do you need new underwear, and I like making sure I have the correct bra for me, as when we fall out of a bra, it can be one embarrasing, and feel inadequat. so buy the bra that truly fits you and then build your dressing style by doing that. 

As our body change, we need to update our underwear and I have used spandex, because thtey make a difference. For everydady though build different looks, for example, taking the dog for a walk, put out the rubbish, decorating and going into town to meeting friends for drinks. Items that are long lasting and stylish with the other items you have in your closet. Go through what doesn't match. 

Save up on items and plan out your  wardrobe. I have a new cardigan today that I bought from a Charity shop and suits me really well. 

So find items that flatter not just because they cover you up. 

When I first developed boobs I hated them and hated buying a bra. I wasn't ready for the next stage of my life, and I was very body concious and would wear oversized t-shirts to hide them, but stuck out and prefered wearing lycra elasticated vest tops instead, but then when they got bigger didn't fit. It took me a long time to get used to having a big bust.

Having my Period, sorry for the TMI I would feel very uncomfortable, and then turned into a bit of a tomboy as I reached my teen years. 

But subconciously still had a Capsule Wardrobe. It is sorting your clothes to mix 'n' match, and not buying outfits that wouldn't go with anything I already have. 

So, have a good sort of your clothes and there are some really good videos on Youtube that talks about styling and how to get the most out of your clothes. Trinny London and Sheerluke are my favourites. 

I do videos on Fashion too and so please check them out vis this link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

I also write another blog on a wordpress blog I write. Check this link out here: https://carriesversitilefashion.wordpress.com

Lastly have a wonderful day and use clothes to build you up, not down.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Day 4/Blog Challenge/Dealing With Anger when we lack self confidence

When we look at ourselves in the mirror and see an image we don't want to see it can hit you with a punch, and we can be our own worst Critic, and I am guilty of that. I have taken in out on others and feel bad in writing that but I would, because I needed approval from someone else to help make me feel better. 

Anger can be caused because we question others, example "Why would anyone want to be my friend?" when we feel we look like soneone being pulled through a hedge backwards. We criticize our clothes, the hair on our faces and compare a lot. This then can turn into be resentful, and then be constantly wanting someone to tell us "You look good" and "You are funny and do have a personality we like". 

Self development is the key to get control of the inner critic and shut it down. If there are things that really upset you then address them and take time on yourself. Having a hot bath with bath salts, taking your dog out to walk and put a bit of make up on if it helps and if someone is not making you feel good, as it is a cause when we lack confidence then talk to them about it. Let people to know how you feel. Get to know others who are confident, but not those who rub it into your face but someone that you can click with and chat about anything or everything. It can work wonders for your confidence and bounce off of them.

Finding people you can relate to can help and addressing the feelings will help prevent anger. What is about the people around you that gets you angry. There are still mix feelings when it comes to those who don't feel good about themelves. They aren't seeking attention but want someone to listen and have your back, whatever it is that is causing the anger, and we then become jealous, and like Mel Robbins says, that isn't enough of self worth to go around. 

I do have a book about Anger and it says that, by how you were bought up can be why you get angry because perhaps they were angry when it came to certain things. Like getting frustrated that a skill they are teaching is not being taken notice of by the next generation, when if we study ourselves we can end up copying certain behaviours. 

Discussing it is better than a shouting match and so, if they don't listen then when they want you to listen to them instead, make them know that "Everyone is allowed to use their voice", but with a steady voice. I have often gone out, and when I was living in the South Coast I wouild go and sit by the seaside where I lived at the time. I'd pop to the shops, I would go to another room to calm down and give myself 5 minutes to just chill and then if it was because I came home angry, apologise and lay it to rest/

Many thanks for reading,  

Carrie X 

Day 3 of Blog challenge: Does Anxiety Effect Your Confidence/Managing Anxiety

Hello it is Day 3 and feels like it should be the second day and sure is going fast this week, but enjoying it. I like to take on tasks that are outside my comfort zone and there is so much I want to share. 

I suffer with anxiety a lot, like I am always fluttering to check a trillen times to check that I have everything I need each day to get to and from places. and trying not to go into panic zone.

It can really throw me off key yet I am learning to relax and not frett and just take my time. 

I often feel that I am not good enough and that then makes me ask questions like, "Who would want me?" and "Am I attractive" "I can't connect with people all of the time", but yet I know so many people so I have to rein myself in and reflect in my head that, it is just me seeing, analysing and then, I do go over well, "I have a roof over my head" and "I have worked and met so many people and made them laugh" so I must be doing something right, "I can look good when I have down days about myself " and is the niggly thoughts that can really get to me. 

The Anxiety then forms, but getting to grips with it. Like to day I eaten more than what I normally do and felt extra hungry today, so I did a workout whilst looking after my son Henry and gave me a great burst of, "See you know you can do it" as I like many avoid exercise but when I do it, I enjoy it and, it is in my head. It's understanding the pattern of my anxiety I feel. I do argue with the inner critic, and go through it and pull myself through. 

Today I feared going to have my Smear Test and was dreading it, because of the clamp thing they use to swab, so rearranged it for next week at a better time.

I do take medication to help but for me that is not always the answer, but feel I have a good balance now and did my first 10,000 steps walk this week now in 2022 and it felt so good. This then has got in touch with my happy side of the brain and want to do more to help my lack of self confidence which can cause my anxiety and it can go both ways. 

I really do hope these blogs do help you and please leave a comment below and I will be writing more until Sunday and then I will plan more challenges that helps with my Anxiety and just now as I finish this book I watched a Portrait video of Henry my son got me looking a myself and not liking what I see. 

Yet, I am looking and gonna use my insecurities to stir me to keep up with walking and doing exercise. I am going to do some self care that helps, like moisturise my face, dehair parts of my body tomorrow when I have my shower, gonna put some make up on and film it, and keep and go over the goals I have set and add and change parts of them. 

So more to come tomorrow and so thanks for your time so far, and going to do more work on myself to stop looking at myself and giving myself a hard time. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

Day 2: Self Confidence Blog Challenge/Restarting Your Life and Not Just For the New Year

It is day 2 of my blog challenge, please check out my blog I did yesterday. 

https://buildingselfconfidencetud.blogspot.com/2022/01/my-first-blog-challenge-for-2022.html

In this blog post I am talking about how to Restart your life and not just for the New year. So did you set resolutions this year? and have you continued them on or given up the ghost?

I set goals and make Life changes, for example this year I not eating any foods like crisps as I have realised I don't need them in my diet and listen to my body and that has taken time, but so far so good. I know I can give these up as have done so before and it is making small changes that can help towards the bigger goals, like I was diagnosed a few years back of having what I had felt, Diabetes Type 2 and now got it under control and have a good sugar level now and made me feel good about myself.  

It has done wonders for my confidence and always change up my exercise routine by going on what is going on in my life and so I exercise on Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays and I love doing so. 

So to restart your life is to go through the items in your life you want to keep and what to get rid off and start in one area of your life at a time. Log it in by writing it down of what to stick with. 

Bring in new things to your life, like for me it is to be a Playworker to support kids who need care during the school holidays and did nursery work but was very anxious and my mental health had deteriorated and needed time to recover, so now I am ready for new challenges, hence this blog challenge. 

Challenge yourself too, and can do this whilst making changes to build confidence and if it is appearance like it has been for me, take time in planning different looks and seek advice. I am loving my clothes now and the outfits I can put together. 

Check out my Pinterest of the vision boards I have created for myself: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thetypicalLondongal/_created/

Last year it was creating EBooks each day for 21 days and really set me on track and then I got help for my anxiety and depression and so this year is to implement things to help my mindset and this can effect confidence and when you do changes we can often doubt them but stick with them, by setting challenges.

If you'd like to check out my EBooks you can on Amazon.com under the names. Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.

If you are struggling with day to day, then it means you need a change of environment so like yesterday I went for a long walk yet had written a huge list of things to do, but needed to be outdoors and really helped clear out my mind and address my feelings of myself. 

I am fed up of being self critical, as it can become draining and so get yourself out of the house and why not meet up with someone as with no more lockdown, touching wood, we can now see our friends and I am planning days out too, as not been up Central London for while and so plan to take my son Henry up there this coming weekend to get out of four walls. 

Fresh air works wonders, so get out and be around good environments that gives you peace. I love to walk along the river and so why I enjoyed yesterday's long walk. 

Have a change around, that can make a difference, for example I would use Sundays to clean and tidy my cube units I used to have change them up and spend time dusting and cleaning shelf by shelf and once finished made me want to go onto the next task. It is so fullfilling to do jobs like that done. 

I am not a fan of cleaning but do like the end result. 

Seeing good results is a must if you are not then you need to keep trying and testing before you find the things you like that do give you good results. 

The results I have seen is that I am getting more things completed and can do things out of my comfort zone like ringing up companies to work with, but then when they are done feel so good for it. I not someone who even though I worked in a call centre, talking a long time on the telephone, but it knew I had to do it, as I may be helping other children to and from school. 

It just has to be worth the while but when you see changes working it makes it totally worth it.

So, I will be posting again tomorrow so please remember to like my blog and thanks for those reading my blogs on this site already, means a lot. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X