Losing Sense of time

Hello and welcome to another Building Self Confidence blog.
In today's post I am writing about losing sense of the time, as this can so easily happen, when events in our lives take place, like losing a love one etc

It has been a testing time, many of us practicing self isolation and social distancing.

We can often feel that we have no control but we do. I used the time during the lockdown to write a blog/s everyday and work on some new books I wanted to publish, created a new work system to manage my work load, I created my first online course, (check out my blogpost on my related site everyonecanbuildacastle), and so I have really embraced the time I have had to make the most of self isolation.

Now it is time to gain some normality and gain more sense of time again. I will have that time from when Henry starts school to when he finishes to get bits done, I will hopefully be able to go back up to London again, take charge of my fitness as I have lost some of that since the lockdown and I am going to begin running again.

So it is time for me to embrace the school run once more and embrace that free time. My son I think is ready for school again and he will be able to mix with other kids again, which he has missed.

We have made some last minute preparations.

Have a good week everyone and stay safe as much as possible.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Respecting people with Mental Health Issues

I have just come back from having my evening meal and I wanted to reach out to all those like myself who have suffered or going through mental health issues.

There was a teacher at my school who's partner had killed themselves and the people around me were talking about his funeral, saying how the music was terrible. Why would anyone play that?

Let me tell you when someone is clinically depressed,

Tip 1# Don't judge when you don't know

I have been clinically depressed and hence why I am on anti-depressants now and it can be the loneliest place in the world, and you imagine your funeral, and I would have had my family respect my wishes.

Today after those close to me knowing what I have been through this year first of all didn't believe me when I felt someone was after me, and made it about them.

Tip 2# It isn't about you it is about the person who is depressed

You need to put your own feelings aside and listen. That is half the trouble I felt like noone was listening to me.

All you want is someone to listen and not judge, just be quiet whilst I poor my heart out.

Tip 3# Never say you understand when you clearly don't

People who are depressed, anxious or have psychosis are in a very bad bubble and feel there is no way out.

Only those who have suffered with this problems can understand what is like and are more likely to say "I have been there you can get out of it".

Tip 4# Respect people with Mental Health issues, by giving them space not thinking they are attention seeking but are crying out for help for a reason.

I sat not so long ago on a bench in Hammersmith near Hammersmith bridge and cried my heart out and kept thinking about jumping off.

I haven't told anyone, but there were people who knew but were helpless and was going through trauma themselves.

I felt like my world had come to an end.

Tip 5# Be compassionate with someone who is clinically depressed or have other mental health problems

I don't mean treading on egg shells just offer them your shoulder to cry on if they need it.

I know there are times where as family member you can't always help those with clinical depression, but just being there can make all the difference.

Respect peoples wishes and don't judge those like you wouldn't like to judged yourself.

Many thanks for reading,


Carrie X

Ten Tips on how to create Happiness

Hello and welcome to another blogpost on this site. 

Here are 10 tips on how to create happiness:

1. Make the most of every day. If you had one day to live what would you do? To me is spending it with people that I love, going to a concert or a soccer match and letting my hair down.

2.    Find you niche. So what creates good energy and makes you want to get up in the morning.

3.    Find your smile. When we smile it automatically releases endorphins and can be contagious.

4.    Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. I have struggled with the way I look, but now I will have a good old look at myself and see that, “I’m not so bad after all”.

5.    Being content. For me that is writing or sitting in the garden reading or listening to a book.

6.    Practice gratitude. I schedule time to journal in my gratitude book and really helps get rid of the cobwebs and feel good about life

7.    Give a compliment. If you see someone wearing a nice dress or pair of shoes for example let them know, as this will make them happy and in turn make you happy too.

8.    Create a happiness journal. I have one and love to get it out and write about an event I went to which was a success or even on a day out somewhere. This is a great thing to create as you can make it into a photo journal.

9.    Create a happiness board. This similar to above and creating a vision, but this will be a board with photos, a picture of your favourite dress, a flower from your garden, anything that makes you happy

  10. Have a worry pot. So it’s like having a mindfulness pot, with happy messages, well you can do one for your worries and then at the end of the week go through them and ask yourself, was it worth the worry? Did everything turn out okay?

  Many thanks for reading, 

  Carrie X 

Having Self Belief

Hello and welcome to another blog post. 
In this blogpost I am talking about Having Self Belief, which is so important to our happiness and wellbeing. 

If you don't have belief in yourself then this will reflect on other people around you.

The one thing I am learned is not to doubt myself as I can be my own worse critic, but I know I have strengths, which are, I am determined, passionate and compassionate.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, but how you deal with them is what will make a difference.

If you dwell on your weaknesses then that is all you will see, so you need to get in touch with your strengths, which will override your weaknesses.

Yes you should still work on your weaknesses, but the worst thing is to allow them to dominate.

It is a bit like if you kept thinking about a red car, and suddenly all you notice are red cars everywhere. It is what you focus on.

Self belief is so important to help you towards conquering your goals and achieving things in your life.

So be determined, find your strengths and stay focused.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Building confidence about your self image

Since I was a kid I have always been someone who has struggled with their self image, and compared myself to others.

At school there was a girl called Sherie who I have written about in my book The Peabody Years, because she was so pretty and popular, that I wished I could be just like her and would imagine it too.

I have always found it tough since I was a kid to fit in, but now I am 41 years of age my outlook on myself image compared to back then has changed dramatically.

Please check out my EBooks relating to this topic called,

How To Stop Scrutinizing Yourself and stop self sabotage

Mind Matters : Building Self Confidence 

Don't get me wrong I still get those days where I avoid a mirror of any shape or form. I still am hesitate at times when it comes to trying on clothes in a public fitting room, but I have learned to love myself more and appreciate what I do have and what I do like.

Excepting who you are is important especially being a mum now, I don't want my son to feel those emotions about himself like I have done, and I want him to thrive. So I am conscious about my self image, so my insecurities don't rub off on to him.

The one book I would recommend to read about building confidence is a book by Paul McKenna, called,

Change Your Life In Seven Days

It will help you get out of a rut and even if you are in lockdown you can still follow the book and its exercises.. 

I found it super helpful and I have even got the Paul McKenna book, 

I Can Make You Rich

• If you need financial support which is not helping your confidence then this book is great to follow. 
• Meditation is also good way of feeling good about yourself, along with exercise and eating a lot healthier. 
• Practice mindfulness, which is noticing everything around you whilst you breath in through the nose out through the mouth.

Yes you can still splurge now and again, but as I see it a treat is a treat and not something you need to have everyday. You know within yourself that if you eat 12 Mars Bars in one go, you ain't gonna feel happy, but regret. As soon as we eat fatty foods and processed foods the more we crave them and feel we need them, which in turn destroys your confidence because you are now paranoid about your weight. 

I see it as unnecessary stress. 

You can easily workout at home, I have done and I am going to start doing some exercises today even if it is for 5 to 10 minutes or going for a walk. I have been self isolating at my mum's for a bit now, and my marriage has broken down, so things have changed, but I feel new positive outcomes on the horizon. 

I can look at myself in the mirror and feel like "Yes I feel good today" And that to me is a stepping stone. 

Tony Robbins does videos about Instant Confidence, check out his video linked below: 

youtube.com/watch?v=eI7Tdvi4PBA

Building confidence about your self image, is to remember that noone is perfect and many images on magazines have been airbrushed and edited in a way that they look good, but it has taken make up and hair done professionally for them to look glamorous on the front cover. 

We can be unkind to ourselves and ridicule every each of our body. 

• Practice gratitude as this helps get in touch with the positive side of the brain and go through what you are thankful for. If it is self image, then say "I am grateful for my eyes and ears" for example, because there are people who can't hear or see, and we should feel grateful for these senses. 
• Create a vision board of what you would look like and set a budget, as it could be the jumper is too big or jeans for example not suiting your body type, so create an ideal you, and think carefully about this image you see in front you . 

1. Are they super confident?
2. How are they standing?
3. What are they wearing?
4. How are they speaking?

• Go through your wardrobe and have your own fashion show and put outfits already together and watch repeats of Gok Won programme How To Look Good Naked: https://www.youtube.com/user/lookgoodnaked This is really great for inspiration.

In any case beauty is within, they can be the most beautiful looking person in the world but not necessarily a nice person. 

So don't fret over the way you look and have fun with putting make up on, painting your nails or dressing up for a change if you are going out. 

I will post more very soon....

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

  

10 Tips on how to prevent loneliness

As I sit here at my computer desk eating my go to must have breakfast, Crunchy nut clusters, I can't but reach out to those who are stuck indoors feeling lonely. I wrote blog on one of my other sites on this subject (see link below):

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/04/20/feeling-lonely-stop-self-sabotage/

We must remember the elderly who are stuck indoors with no family to visit them and can't get out, so how do we overcome this?

1. There are befriending services which you can sign up for and join, and all you will be doing is visiting them as a friend
2. If it is a neighbour or a relative, then why not offer to do their shopping for them. I did for my Nan when she was alive and couldn't go out as she was unwell, and would often pick up bits and bobs for her
3. Why not cook them a meal like a shepherds Pie or lasagna, or what I used to do when I stayed at my Nan's, I would pick up some fish n chips, or we would take her (my mum and I) for Pie and Mash
4. Why not do facetime if they have computer, or record a video for them to watch and smile at. This would be something that can be keep and passed down to the next generation
5. Drop them an email or send then an ECard wishing them well and bestwishes
6. Create them a scrapbook with loads of photos and postcards of passed holidays they have been on
7. Arrange a meeting with them using sites such as Zoom, this is a great way to get in touch, and is just like facetime accept that you have to put in an ID number and password
8. Make them a music CD of their favourite tracks for them to listen to
9. Why not set up a Facebook or Whatsapp group if they have an android phone. That is how I keep up to date with school events and special days
10. Create them a hamper with some real goodies and treats

If you have ideas of what you can do for someone who is lonely then please add a comment below, and remember you can follow me on WordPress.com to keep up tot date with all my blogs I post on this site

Many thanks for reading,



Carrie X

Handling depression/feeling suicidal

I am now on a antidepressant because my depression has gotten really bad, I do think of suicide everyday, and almost made an attempt during lastnight, yet I am still here writing this blog.

It is hard to take yourself out of the black hole you feel when you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper inside and can't get out of.

So here is some advice on how to overcome these feelings:

1. Address the depression
Face it head on, and ask the depression a question. To do this you will need a mirror to look at yourself and with a notepad think about everything you see in front of you, from your reflection. This is what I wrote down myself:
> Bare faced
> Dislike my teeth
> Feel stuck in a rut
> Frustration
> Worthless
> Anger
> Betrayed

2. Break them down 
So for example:

I don't like being bare faced, I feel I need a facial or follow my skin regime like I did before. I do feel I have let myself go. I feel that a face can speak many things, and Trinny London does a lot of videos talking about skincare and beauty, which will help enhance the skin.

3. Write down under each one the things you do like about that particular area.

Bare Faced
Mine is I like eyes, nose and lips, I like the size and shape of them.

Dislike my teeth
I wish for them to be straight and they are stained due to tea drinking, so have cut down on drinking so much tea again. I was told by the doctors some time ago that I do need to cut down on Caffeine due to having type 2 diabetes and when I was younger.

I dislike the shape, but the positive is they have started to become more whiter than before and I like my side teeth and bottom, I just don't like the front teeth much.

4. Read it out loud 
You can do this or get someone else to do this for you.

5. Have two journals
A happy one and a one where you can rant and rave about your feelings and what is happening to you.

Please remember you are not alone and there people out there who can support you.

Many thanks for reading,


Carrie X