Depression affects all

Depression affects all kinds of people, those who have nothing, loads who have a medium life working but they feel they have no prospects to do anything else, and those who appear to have everything.

There is a programme starting next week on BBC 3 about footballers who have battled with depression and Gary Speed's sister talks about how she wished she had been able to let Gary confide in her for help. Gary Speed did appear to have the world at his feet, he was doing well has Wales International Manager, very well respected and high regarded through the world, had two sons who also were doing well and a glamorous gorgeous wife.

I do think more help should be out there and support of those suffering with depression, as a lot of the time they won't speak to those close to them about it, as they feel that they won't understand or some say it's just having a bad day.

Depression is more deeper than just a bad day, it is a illness that can strike at any time, it can make you feel like your falling down a hole that you see no way out of, and so people take their lives because they can't see a way out of the emotional demon "Depression".

With depression comes the appearance to people that all is good to the world to the outside when they see or chat to people they know, to not show that something is wrong. This is where the mind can go into overtime and feel like a roller-coaster of thoughts, all bad and you try to reason to yourself about things you have but you feel they would be better of without you.

You can feel that you don't have the energy to do anything and just want to hide away from the world.

So I would like to say to those who have like myself gone through a stage of depression, is that you are not on your own and there is always a good way out to rebuild your life so you know longer have to feel like your falling down that dark depression hole.

You will always have my support.

Many thanks for reading.

Carrie X

Dropped my guard

This last weekend started of exciting as I went to see one of my favourite TV programmes Loose Women and then it all went wrong.

Me and my hubby ordered a take away and used one of our favourite trusted places but they delivered the wrong food, but did work out well in the end as when the right order turned up he didn't want the other one (the wrong order) back and so we ended up with two, so we had part of the other order today the chicken, but also a cheque that I had been waiting for had not turned up and one of my Ebay sells went wrong as they stated it was delivered all torn up and an item was missing from the parcel, even though I had sent it all nicely packaged and sent on the same day bought.

Then I find out that a Spam message was sent out as if from me on Twitter. I know that there are hackers and people out there who aren't honest out there but because of having a lot of followers on twitter and have built a good connection with loads of people I did kind of drop my guard quite bit, it has taught me a lesson.

Life is about learning from mistakes and things that go wrong.

However it has really affected my confidence and made me realised that I do have to be careful and now have put tight security on my twitter account and I am going to have a break from Social Media to recharge and rebuild my confidence with this. It is true what Tony Robbins says in his book I am reading at the moment, when something goes wrong for you in a particular place or website or even had a bad reaction to certain food, that you build up an association of pain with that particular thing and that is what has happened. Since the issue with Ebay even though it was one out of 12 people who I have sold and sent products bought from me too, that I now weary of using Ebay to sell items again, especially as I know other people whom have had bad experiences on Ebay and not long ago witnessed a young girl being bullied on Facebook by someone who had sent a Spam mail via Facebook chat and hacked into someone elses account appearing as if it was from them.

Thankfully this has stopped and I hope whoever was doing that was punished.

As I am writing this blog I am thinking that I don't want to let these unhonest spiteful people who do scams on websites, or break into peoples parcels and who hack into peoples website accounts to win as the only way to fight these people is to report them and to build up your guard so your details and messages and website accounts are protected, but still carry on and remember the positives things that have happened and the nice messages I have received from honest people like myself on twitter and on facebook and Ebay too.

If you too are scammed or had issues with Ebay then do report it and do protect your details, as those people who do hack into peoples items and information need to be stopped.

Many thanks for reading.

Carrie X

Ignore the doubters

This is a subject that I have written about before in a blog I did about people who judge before you've even shown them what you can do.

Now I want to write about the doubters, those who doubt your ability, when you tell them that you are taking a new project, or creating a new business; God forbid don't tell them that there is a set up fee, because you might aswell give them a hammer to hit you over the head with, and completey destroy the  enthusiasm you have.

I am now beginning my own adventure and before I told my doubter, I was full of enthusiasm, but what I trust is my inner self, I know if it is a bad idea or not, and as some have little faith in what I do due to passed mistakes I do my research before I do anything.

Life is about making mistakes and it has taught me a lot, but also watching and being inspired by other people has also taught that you have to take that risk sometimes.

If you don't take that opportunity when will you?

So even though the doubter may be doing it to protect you it can also be sole destroying, if someone tells me of an idea they have I support and I say "Great, just do your research and let me know if you have any % help" that gives the person who tells you and a boost, because your not doubting or destroying their high feelings your saying you think this is great, but also giving your protective advise going on your own mistakes to help them not make the same mistakes as yourself and giving your support, which is the greatest thing you can give to someone who has an adventure they what to pursue. Doubters just give me more fighting power to succeed and I can say "Look I know it was a risk but look it has paid off".

But so what if you haven't or takes a while?

I say learn from this and keep trying.

I loving the fact that what I do now I am in charge of and that it is up to me to go out there and connect with people to show that I am in it for me and to connect with them and to make those doubters I have to change their mind.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

The Words of Wisdom

Do you ever get knocked down by your friends or family when it comes to your own ideas, who advise not to do something, not really criticising but like warn you of the reasons why you shouldn't?

Then this knocks your confidence and the adrenaline boost you were having as you were building the ideas of what you wanted to do in your head?

I am running my own business at the moment and constantly I have people advising oh you shouldn't do that or this, and questions what you are doing because it is something that they wouldn't do. I appreciate that there are people whom wouldn't do it and are warning to protect me but I think you have to learn by your own mistakes, you have to fly by yourself sometimes and take those risks. You will never know what is out there or see things for yourself if you don't look on the other side of the journey you want to take. 

I am very set and focussed on what I want to achieve and sometimes you have to be little generous towards people at a certain extent so they can trust and know that I am not running my business just for the money but it is because this will help me with my next business I am building which will be non profit but will be connecting and helping to build other people through my own skills I have taught and built myself. 

If you don't take the risks you will never know what is out there. I know I need to be more strict with myself when it comes to my customers paying me for example but I also want to build trust and  loyalty and see that I am not in it to just make money but I really feel this will my beginning to start a new journey and find out what I am really capable of doing. Also the people who are warning are probably doing it because they see fears from creating a business that is why they would never do it, but I know this is something I have been dreaming and is my blueprint in life to be my own person and boss. 

So next time someone warns you, do a pro and cons list, and write why you do not feel you should do it, if it is something you are adamant about doing and would like to find out if it will work I say go for it, but of course do your research speak to experts and others for market research to get different opinions or they may also like to give help by passing their own ideas to help. 

But remember you have the utter control to make the decision yourself.

Will it fulfil you in the short and long term if you take the risk, and run your own business for example?

If you don't will you be regretting it for the rest of your life, and beat yourself up because you never found out?

People have dreams and ambitions for a reason and if it something you constantly think about then the only way you are going to really find out if it is for you is by doing it, and taking the risk whether it is playing guitar or planning a new career. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

Under Pressure

The last couple of weeks have been the toughest. I have been told that my job is coming to an end, and from that moment it feels like a lot of things are trying to fall on top of me, but I keep pushing them back.

As soon as one challenging situation comes along and resolved, another one comes along.

I was overdrawn in one of my bank accounts because an amount had gone on a date I had not been planned and so had to try convince the bank of this issue and because of my current situation, and I am being refunded for that.

Also I knew then that I had to take care of my finances, so transferred money from savings to the overdrawn account and cancel my sky sports on my Virgin Media package to cut down on items. I have also had to cancel a few things to plan ahead really for when my job comes to an end.

Last Monday my email didn't work on my Galaxy Tablet and so the email that my football team were supposed to get they didn't, I hadn't realised until later on in the day to do to much about it, however the boys did have training and all went to plan.

Books to help:
:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Power-Shape-Your-Destiny-Strategies/dp/1442352655/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1363381028&sr=1-4 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/9814302635/ref=asc_df_981430263512375634?smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&tag=shopdc94343-21&linkCode=asn&creative=22206&creativeASIN=9814302635


Someone lost their jacket, and I tried to help and it got backfired onto myself, even I thought I was doing the right thing. However problem resolved and I know I did my part in making sure the jacket is with the correct person.

I am doing my utmost best to change things around and what it is teaching me is that I need to take action, not tomorrow or next week, but now.

Therefore I am using all the tools offered to me, such as today I went to a C.V workshop at work which was helpful and now I know whom I can go too, to help me begin the next journey. I am using my blogs and social media network to release my inner thoughts and great things that I can share with other people.
Through doing this I have been sent some great ebooks that have helped me see link below, and you can too download these free ebooks.

http://tiny.cc/gmailrefer

I have met with my Mentor today to talk about putting my Social Enterprise Project together to have that planned more ready to have it completely set up.

So what I would like say to help those who may be having some bad luck now, is keep positive it is just your life changing cycle ready for the next chapter. Life is full of chapters and some end, some are there for life and there are new ones waiting on the other side of the door.

Please share your story of being under pressure or if you've had a bad luck spell in your life and how did you make the changes to turn it around into good?

Thank you for reading and do please share your story too.

Carrie X

My weekly rituals

I love my weekly rituals as they are my "me" time thing, and it takes me away from all the business and hustle and bustle.

My weekly rituals are great for recharging your batteries and helping with your self confidence and through these you can develop new skills and discover new things.

Mine are:

- Running.
- Bubble Bath
- Reading
- Organizing
- YouTube.

So do you have weekly rituals?

Why not create some today, they can be whatever you choose and if they are not enjoyable or suck out your energy then they are not. If they are relaxing you, and you feel revitalised/fresh, and see positive changes in yourself after these then they are rituals.

If you do have weekly rituals then let me know what they are, I would love to hear how you have "me" time.

Many thanks for reading.

Carrie X

How to brighten up your day.

Quick 10 tips

1. Where a bright or light colour, instead of dark colours, as these colours can uplift your mood.
2. A bath with scented oils and candles. Scented oils and candles are available at a good cost, from 99p to £4.99, ranging from the stores such as the 99 pence and pound shops, charity shops and stores such as TK Maxx and Avon.
3. Exercise to your favourite upbeat track in the morning, this can really help kick start your day.
4. Watch a comedy either a TV programme, DVD TV box set or a funny film.
5. Watch a feel good film, such as Love Actually, The Working Girl (my favourite and I find inspiring) and The Woman.
6. Meet with a friend and go for walk, coffee and a chat.
7. Learn a new skill.
8. Write a letter or send a card to a friend, it will make a nice surprise to them and will help you feel good in yourself.
9. Have one evening to yourself, unhook the phone, turn of the mobile and have some lazy time for the evening watching what you would like to watch on TV or a film.
10. Shut your eyes and listen to chill out music 

End of times

It is strange how some things come to the end of its time.

This week my campaign I work for as a Customer Service Professional were told today that there is a chance of redundancy as it is moving to Poland.

Now everyone is now trying to transfer to other campaigns hoping that they will get the chance to move, and others planning to move from the organisation, and go onto different things.

I am going to try for another campaign just to see if I get anywhere, but because of my volunteer work it may not be possible, but I am going to try anyway and look for part time work, as this is what I really would like to do.

Now everyone is talking about leaving and it’s the end, and losing touch.

Everyone knew at Christmas that there was a chance it would happen, and as much as we speculated we didn’t know if it was just speculation or true; now it has hit home that at the end of the month people will be out of a job adding more to the unemployment. Now the plans that people have made now will have to change.

How do you come out of this dark hole?

As much as you try to encourage others and yourself and be positive you can’t help but that "Voice of doubt" having a word of "What will happen?"

Drive yourself forward is the way and to take every opportunity not on what you think you should go for, but you know you want to go for. Use the "Voice of doubt" as a way of encouraging you to go for the opportunites and take a few risks, how will you know if it will work unless you try?

So I will wait before the door closes on my existing working life to see what opportunities and choices come my way, and then go through the new door to welcome the new working life that leads me to the next chapter of my life.  

Thank you for reading.

Carrie X

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is daunting and difficult to overcome.

I didn't know that I had Social Anxiety until I read a book called "Know your mind" and I read this because to help me with my my home study course in fitness and nutrition in regards to changing certain behaviours, but also I was having issues with being irritable, I felt fed up and angry; I had not know why this was and why I felt this way but I had to sort it out, for my self and for the relationship with my husband. 

I always felt and sometimes I still feel a little anxious and nervous when it comes to meeting people even going to a family gathering. I think it is because you feel you have to meet a certain expectation and I would worry about not making a good impression. I would stutter, suddenly feel self conscious as I spoke and then I would start to sweat and then begin to not make sense as I spoke or my mind would go blank as I was talking about something, and it would all come out jumbled and I would feel so stupid, I wish at that moment that the world would suck me down into the ground. 

Now I can put a name to these issues as before I always felt different because I felt this way, I have learnt to take control and not let myself let my anxiety get the better of me as it did before; before I would allow the anxiety and the "Voice of doubt" I call it talk me out of doing things such as going to sports club or class, and I would feel regretful and low, gutless because I knew I should have gone and then would leave it to another time, then another. 

The way to handle social anxiety is to seek help and advice, and now that I know that there are other people who have Social Anxiety issues too that I am not on my own, I not mad and learnt from getting fit, meeting new people, from building new relationships that social situations are not all that bad. What was strange was when going to rugby I never had social issues and felt unusually comfortable. I think now it was due to certain intense environments and if you have friendly and confident people around you who can help boost your energy then you can come out of the social anxiety dilemma and take control of it.

I do still get anxious but not to the extent I use too, I still not able to sit on tables where there are people I don't know or there are some people I will speak to but I still not able to go over and ask if I can sit with them I always wait for them to ask me to join them first. However life is a lot easier now and I kind of had to get over the social anxiety hurdle because of wanting to do football coaching and to be able to communicate to people to work in Customer Service.

I hope my blog helps others with social anxiety and see that they are not on their own and if you too have social anxiety and would like to share your story, then please do.

Many thanks for reading my blog.

Carrie 

Learning from other sources

One way of building your self confidence is by reading and learning from others whom have also gone through issues with lacking self confidence and I was sent a lovely article about Being Happy from a gentlemen named Graham Dragon (please see link below).

http://iwanttoimprovemyself.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/be-happy.html
showComment=1361641361624#c2390889491926886033

I am so glad I have been sent this and I will be printing this off and putting those rules up to remember, as this is all in the art of reprogramming your mind to think good about yourself and have good changes happen in your life.

I still have bad days, but reminding yourself of the great things around you and not taking life so seriously can help to make the most of the good things to forget about the bad.

I will be adding some more sources of information that has helped me and I am currently that may help you too.

Many thanks for your time.

Carrie X

Beauty and the Beast

A story of a young girl who falls in love with someone who everyone thinks is wrong because of the way he looks not because he loves and cares for her.

When you lack self confidence you have this illusion with yourself, and from other people who can pick on your insecurities to help make them feel better; but at the time you don’t see it that way, and then you start to believe it, and not wanting to look in the mirror, or spend hours looking at yourself picking and looking at the bits about you, that you do not like and then eventually you can dislike everything you see about yourself.

However I have come to learn through people that I have met over my life so far, that everyone has insecurities, even those who appear to be confident;

These people who appear to be super confident are those who show off the good parts to over shadow the parts they may not like about themselves, and lot of the time if you have great personality that shines through a lot and that can make you attractive, and everyone are different in looks and size, it doesn't that a person is any better than you. The one thing that I used to, which I do try my hardest no to, but comparing myself with other people who appear to be a lot more prettier than me. 

From my first blog (which I have linked below) on self confidence, I wrote about reprogramming and writing down the things you don’t like about yourself.

http://beingconfidentwithyourself.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/self-confidence-ugly-duckling.html

Now it time to look at the head on and decide what you would like to do about it, now you may be thinking cosmetic surgery is the only way, but let me tell you it isn't.

Ask yourself why don’t you like this part of yourself?

Then write down the good parts or the good things in your life?

What would you like to do in terms of career, hobby or at home?

Then sit down in a quiet place and you can close your eyes if this helps, and imagine you are doing what you enjoy and start to think how you are feeling and looking in this picture movie in your mind, and are you smiling and how do you imagine people to be towards you?

Once you have that image write it down what it was, how you felt and how were you in this picture or imagery in your mind?

Go through your wardrobe and take all items the out and start putting outfits together, and if there are items that don’t go with anything, then they are not needed, and start thinking about changing and adding one item a week or a month that will help to start making that change where you can at last feel happy about yourself even if it is for 5 minutes, it will make a difference.

Remember when you see shows where someone gets a makeover it is not just on the TV. Give yourself a makeover even if it is painting your nails, a hair wash and a steaming hot nice scented bath.

Have fun, and have a girls night in and ask your friends or someone you know who puts on make-up ask them what they use and ask if they will give you a makeover, some of friends will be really happy and flattered that you have asked them.

How do you want people to see you?

If you did want be more toned, loose a little bit of weight then it’s time to start.

Look at what you currently eat, keep a food diary; this is really good method that did help me; at first I did feel a silly but as I kept doing this it really made me see what was not good for me and what was.

My craving food was crisps and I would eat 2-3 packs a day. Now I cut these out I have not looked back, sometimes I will have the odd packet once or twice a year, but now I do look at the labels to see what won't harm me as much, but actually after you have stopped eating crisps once you cut down I found that they wasn't all that nice. They are so full oft bad fat, salt and sugars. 

Definition of diet: the sum of the food consumed by an organism or group.

It is all about Nutrition, what and how much you consume and so cutting back on one thing making gradual steps to help to break down the changes will allow your body to get used to the change. 

So when changing your food habits, it’s not no longer consuming food, or eating lesser calories as such, it is about giving the nutrients and minerals your body needs to function for everyday living.

If you do need help with changing your wardrobe or with getting fitter on nutrition then please do ask me and I will be happy to help. I am no psychologist or professor of dieting, I am normal person who has been in your situation, not feeling good about myself and have let my lack of self confidence take control.

However there are professional who can help you too, such as your local GP, they may be able to recommend a dietician to help. 

Remember it is all about taking control of your self confidence to help you not stress, and conquer anxiety by building your self confidence on the techniques and advice from others who have been in that situation like myself. 

I know everyone is different and you will find your own path of improving your self confidence, the information in my blogs are more of a kick start so you can get to the path that you can find your own way and then once you take control then you will know how to handle your confidence when it falls to help boost your confidence for the better. 

Many thanks for taking the time to read my blog and I hope it will help you.

X Carrie

Being Confident/What it means to me

What is being confident?

For me it is about having a low or good level of feeling it is good to be me or not. I have learned a lot of "It isn't as it seems". What I mean by that people who seem confident, aren't. 

Everyone can lack confidence but not show it. I found my confidence when it came to dancing and playing sports. Writing is my bestfriend and it was forgotten about for a long time, and now is what I love to do each day. I have lived a lot in an imaginary world, believing that I would be famous one day. That was my goal as a kid. Now I like privacy but sharing parts of myself that can help others. Hence why I created this blog. 

It took a while to get started, with that my Mentalhealth that effected my confidence took over. I dreamed another life, because I felt unfulfilled with the life I have had, and created different story of a life that wished I had lived. My confidence was from feeling like the odd one out, but looking at my life now that I am in my 40's I feel more awake of the life I have lived so far. 

Confidents is something you build as you grow, and can be knocked as you build it up. 

I feel my anxiety effects my confidence and I doubt myself all of the time and question myself. Not just now and then, but all of the time. 

I hate feeling this way. I want to have a good life and one that is fulfilled. I want a good level of happiness and be able to deal bad times, and take responsibility of what I do to help build myself, that will continue to boost my confidence and help others do the same. Yet my life has been good. My parents would encourage me and my brother to have hobbies. My brother did judo and played football. I did dancing and joined in drama groups and clubs. 

Later in life I did running. Took part in many running and walking charity events, and I got into going to Rugby League, by a friend of mine and had such fun. So it is all about how you see your love and how you see yourself and not go over all the bad that happened, and focus on the good, and continue to build and build until I can say, "You've done all right" and do what makes me feel good and will continue to build my confidence and changing how I see my life and making a difference to others too. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X