How to Feel Better when there has been a Bereavement and you feel low about yourself

Hello and it is Saturday night that I am beginning this blog, as I want to talk about how to feel better when you have lost someone in your life and it can turn your world upside down, I want you to if you can watch this video talking about discussing with your family of when it is your time to go, that you have let your family know what you want. 

I find the words RIP tough and so I avoid it because, it means final and that's it. Yet I like to believe that people move on and they are reincarnated or they stay in heaven watching over the people they love and are no longer in pain, but happy and free from harm. 

Everyone deals with someone passing, as I like to call it,and I like to think I will see them again. 

So, think about what would help you feel better about a person in your life passing in a way that doesn't bring further sadness but gives you peace and take time to address it when you are ready and take every step one at a time. 

When you detour feelings that rise within you they can become stronger than ever before and so take notice of them and do allow yourself sometime to just be with yourself. 

I tend to dream about those passing on, and it is usually after a day or two after their death and it took me for ages to get into my head that my Nan Skinner was no longer around and felt like whole chunk of my life as I knew it had come to an end, and it was a massive adjustment. 

That is the thing when you have known some so long and they have been influential in you life, it can feel like "Wow I am not sure if I like this, will I ever get used to this turn in my life?"

I will when someone has passed on shut down and then deal with my life again once I have allowed the knowledge that, that person has gone and fully adjusted. 

So, I hope you have not had a bad Lockdown experience and it is steadily shifting.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Dealing with growing up being bullied by other kids

As a kid I was very much the loner, and this began at Primary school and very shy, yet when my mum left on my first day, I never cried but tried to get to grips with it. I was bullied by kids in the higher years and would threaten to cut me open and I believed it. 

I made sure when I went to Secondary school this would never happen again and thankfully it didn't. I still lacked confidence, and still felt out of my depth but I learned how to make sure I looked after myself too. i did have an eating disorder and kept it quiet but was paranoid about my weight. I had which kids would pick on me about my teeth and they way I spoke, but I still tried my hardest not to allow these jabs as much as possible and fought my way through my school years as I couldn't wait for them to be over. 

I witnessed other kids being bullied, and being picked on, and there were kids at Primary school got bullied a lot worse bullying, like one of the boys in the other years, couldn't walk down a corridor without being told he smelled, yet he never picked a fight and went around putting up with it.

I did tell my mum and she dealt with it, and spoke to one of the teachers about it. I felt like I was some sort of doll being so petite, not grown much now I am 40, I guess some kids are born small, and that is me. 

That would bother me, my height and this effected how other kids would treat me, but I held my own and have accepted my height now, yet I would pray to be tall, I guess God has no control over this, so it is as it is. I will always be petite and so acceptance of yourself makes all the difference. 

It not about how a person looks but are treated, because of it and raise you voice, don't deal with bullying silently and tell someone. Now there is Safeguarding, for kids and so that has made a massive change and if kids continue to bully they will be taken into a another class and teachers will speak with parents about it. Some parents can be unaware of their child being bullied at school, so working in a few nurseries I had worked, if you spot any signs like body language, scared and withdrawn, then it could be a sign and so parents will be told and chatted in private. 

Bullying can be a factor of how child feels and can travel with them as they grow, so encourage kids to speak to someone and get support. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X    

New Begnnings and challenges

Hello and weleome! So since I wrote this blog post so much has changed so I wanted to update you all. I have had new beginnings in that I am now in a new relationship, some of my friendships have changed and my working life has changed.

This blog post in sponsored by the #mentalhealth organisation Mind.org who help and support Mental Health. 

It is so good to have a fresh start and for me this is what this year has all been about. Now I am doing a programme called "Project 2021", which is a Life Coaching programme, fall of tools and information to help you have a better year and a better life.

I never thought I'd say the next sentence, and that is "I am loving life" not the environment I am in, as this is on the cards to change, but in terms of work and being in a finally a Very Much in Love relationship, and as Donna Summer sang "This Time I know Its for real". 

In terms of challenges I have started new habits, I get up early like I have now to start work, I am creating new EBooks everyday, and so look under the name Carrie L.M or Carrie Lee Holmes, I am starting to bet back into fitness, and I am writing more songs. I am so looking forward to my fresh start and the other items and opportunities that are coming my way and really think that often you have to take on the rough with the smooth, but if I can get out of a dark hole I found myself last year, so can you.

Find something that makes you smile and pin it to a wall or somewhere you look everyday to start making a change.

Many thanks for reading.

Carrie X

Self confidence the ugly ducking

As a kid I have always wanted to reach out and help with someone who like me felt like the ugly duckling. Since I began this blog so much has changed, I am a parent, got back into writing and followed my dream of always wanted to write a book, and I did. The first one being The Parenting Adventures, Pregnancy to the first 9 months, and is available on amazon.com under my married name, Carrie Challoner.

I have build a ways to not feel like the ugly duckling by working on myself. I want my son to be proud of me and my family and began doing running different events to raise money for charity. 

I came across life coaching and through discovering people like Tony Robbins, and I have changed my mindset. 

Last year I spent time in a Mentalhealth hospital and it really did help me a lot. Life got to much and I was unhappy of my life, because I felt like I was chasing dreams rather than following them. 

I was diagnosed as having psychosis, and hearing voices telling me different things about how I felt about myself and had what I can only describe a break down. Now I feel better than never and proud of what I have done with my life, for the first time. It has taken a lot for me to look at me in a different light, and now sleep better than ever, I exercise by walking and doing home workouts, reading books again and taking my son out to different places and no longer feels like such a struggle, and so I hope my blogs on this has helped you, and long may it continue. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

5 Ways to Live life to the full/New EBook on Building Self Confidence

So I never actually completed the writing of this blog post, so as I have a bit of free time to do so, I thought I would write it now.

Lets start by saying that I think we are already to let go of Lockdown and COVID, and have more social gatherings again, as I am missing the interaction of people, and I joked today doing my new Get Ready with me video for today, that I am so in need of a good Pub Lunch.

Its amazing how you can miss such things but I really am. Anyways, 5 Ways To Live life to the full, yes and with this Pandemic that struck us all, is a more of an opportunity to turn your life around and not allowing Lockdown stress you out. Use it as an opportunity to do things you would have never done if Lockdown had not hit us. 

Now I am not saying I am happy about not being able to go into my favourite non essential stores, but never allow it to restrict you, in living the life you have always wanted.

1. So I wrote a new EBook about Building Self Confidence talking about, How to learn about yourself and accepting yourself, and that is the first step, because if you are forever putting yourself down then you are never going to move on from that. You end up, and I sharing this on experience, going around in circles and never feeling like you are going anyway

A good way of doing this is to have a sort through your wardrobe, and go through passed photos of when you did feel good about yourself and display them and write down why you were so happy then, compared to now.

2. Be spontenious. So I remember when I was working up in London, and it was one of my friends birthdays, but it was on a Tuesday in the week, and so we met up for a few drinks, but because it was such a wonderful evening, no trouble or anything, and everyone was buzzing, we then went onto a nightclub and stayed out until three in the morning. Now I did something that was naughty I called in sick the next morning, so don't do that, but what made it a good evening, was that it wasn't planned at all, and it was one of the best nights I've ever had. 

3. Do something you though. So like, apply to be a contestant on a Quiz show, or do a Marathon. They can be life changing, and if you do it to rt you never do  raise money for charity, then it is more of an incentive to challenge yourself.

4. Look like a star. So if there is someone you admire, in terms of looks and how they carry themselves, then why not dress like a star yourself. I don't mean start putting lines of make up on your face like Adam Ant, which to be fair, was in, in the 80s but have fun with fashion and make up. There are make up tutorials on Instagram and Youtube. I am yet to discover Tik Tok, but it is on the agenda, so I will at some point, but just have fun with trying different styles of make up and clothes, so it gives a day a purpose.

5. Be with nature and the outside world. So, even in Lockdown it has still be worth, sitting in my local park to watch the world go by and why not take your work outdoors in the garden, so you have time with the outside world, instead of locking yourself away.

So honestly make the most of each day and do something different so you are living it, loving it and breathing it.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

Building Self confidence with Parenting

Here is a new Building Self Confidence video, about Building confidence as a parent. It can be daunting aswell as exciting and so is good to be calm and less stressed, please check out my new Video below:

It is good to just be flexible as a parent and never stop them from being kids. It is important that you get to know parenting and your baby and not rush but blend more into it. 

Please see my new EBook about Having a Baby and Easy Parenting without the Stress for a Single Parent

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08ZC9HYL4/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Carrie+Lee+Holmes+having+a+baby&qid=1616069461&sr=8-1

I hope you find this blog helpful and many thanks for reading, 

Carrie L.M X

Building your confidence through singing and dancing

So it is Monday and I am writing this blog as I listen to a playlist via Youtube and I love getting on with my work singing and dancing in my chair. 

THAT IS THE LIFE PEEPS AND HOW i ROLL!

Now some may find it annoying, and soon I will be in a new home and starting a new life and when I am gone I am still gonna sing and dance as it helps me with my #mentalhealth, and it is good to put on some tunes and zone out, and it is great for easing tension and clearing the mind of cobwebs, just like walking. 

The good thing about singing and dancing is good for the confidence because you can do whilst your cleaning the house and when you are washing up, cooking dinner and just GET WITH IT! That is why I love music and singing as it is what has helped keep me going. 

Would you believe that when I was singing someone actually called a Ambulance, and I know this should be taken as a insult I actually found it funny, as I bet there are worser singers than me and YES THEY DID!

 

So there are groups you can join like the Rock Choir and I did go to a Adult community class in Hammersmith and Fulham and did Singing and drama and were great fun, and is a good way to meet new people and when I worked at Butlins I would always be singing and dancing in one of the bars and theatres on camp. It was so good after a days work, to let my hair down and just dance and sing the night away. 

Never be afraid as once you start it can be very addictive and you'll be surprised when you dance indoor or at a club, how many calories you burn. It is a god send, so put on those tunes and dance to your hearts content and sing you heart out.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie L.M X

P.S: All my blogs and videos can be found on my network site:

https://carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com