My Life as a Writer and how it has built up my confidence

As a kid I was always writing and has always been something I enjoyed and it is my kind of therapy. I began writing children's stories and then stemmed via writing a blog post, began writing more adult type books as I have gotten older, and I love it.

My life as a writer could be seen as repetitive some days, but that is why I mix it up. I have weekly posts I do and then I will write random posts on various topics coinciding with the main topic of the blog. 

I do have a Bloglovin site where I blog too and where I share tips and ideas on blog writing and self published books: See link here:

https://www.bloglovin.com/@carrieholmes40

It has built my confidence no end as it a skill that is natural and helps clear the mind, and with having so much positive feedback has seen that I may not like what I see in the mirror all of the time, but I have a naturally talented skill, and finding that skill that you look forward to each day can really help release endorphins and work on yourself. 

When you have created that masterpiece it can be like finding a pot of gold and it is something to cherish and build on, and getting people saying "Yes I have been there" and "Its as if someone has seen into my world" is like music to my ears. 

I did a video for my Life Coaching Programme I am putting together about Finding your talent and never copy, and may be of use to you. See this link here: https://youtu.be/vZsD-vECu9k 

When it comes to writing the tips I would say is to just write and don't worry about editing, just write what is in your head and what you picture. When I first published a book it was a like a milestone that I had taken that step to a dream I had and that it was like doing a marathon for the first time, and thought I would never have that. 

Finding a profession which is fulfilling and has a purpose, has been so rewarding by so many levels and once you see your book in print its something indescribable and those endless days typing and editing has paid off. 

With writing it can be passed down to your kids and can be taught to so many and have so many benefits. I was not a lover of school, and so spending my afternoon's writing was a highlight as I and another girl called Helen, who'd I would sit next to writing, was a good bit that I can say that I liked about school. 

It has made me grow as a person, and made me look at things differently and will continue on and say to all those who want to write to build their confidence to do so, and it doesn't have to be blogs or books, but writing a journal or a memoir, and even for a scrapbook. 

So get pen to paper and open that world you wish to create. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

How to build your confidence to get back into work

I have struggled getting back to work as I have lost a lot of my confidence and having anxiety and psychosis has been hard, but using intervention it has been a massive help and I do take medication, and felt like it was not me and couldn't get myself back on track. 

Thankfully my mental health is a lot better and I am in a place where I am acceptive of my life and yes it hit a dark spell but I am through that. I just felt my life was not great that I missed out on a lot. Yet I have a roof over my head, a have a son who is the most adorable little man and love watching him grow and I love being his mum. We do have a great bond and he brings out the child in me. 

I am not saying I constantly hearing voices but became scared, and felt I was being followed and that my family were in trouble and it just all built and so I went a bit insane. 

However I am fine and I am through it. Not being on social media all the time has helped, having a good steady routine. Being able to look after my on again has really been a massive turn as I would have anxiety over the school run, and dreaded the walk and would play what I can describe as movies of the most dreadful thing that could happen. I was in a state and felt out of control. 

I was losing my mind. That includes returning to work and was working in childcare, in various nurseries and have anxiety over that too, and felt I couldn't do anything and making lots of mistakes and so it has taken its time but I am slowly bit by bit getting more confident each day and taking my time. I have stopped rushing around but taking gradual steps to being myself again. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

Intro Video to this blogsite and sharing some tips

Hello and welcome to my Building Self Confidence - The Ugly Duckling site and here I am sharing my video where I have introduced this blog site and given some tips. 

This is the first video I have done for this year for this site and will make this a regular thing. Not sure if this will be every week but I will let you know. 

Please see video below:

Building Confidence comes from within and so making a change to your normal everyday life can make all the diffference. 

Many thanks and I will see you in the next post

Carrie X

Life Coaching to help you to feel more confident about yourself

Hello and welcome to a new Self Confidence blog. In this blog I am writing about how Life Coaching to help you to feel more confident about yourself. I am going to use this as part of my new Programme I am putting together, Project 2020.

I have written blog post talking about it. see link:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2021/01/04/project-2021/

So what is Life Coaching? 

It is basically a tool that helps to guide you forward to thinking better about yourself and having a focus. 

I have found it help keep me calm when I feel underpressure and help me to achieve the things I have always dreamed of in my life. 

This blog I write is all about Building Self Confidence and Life coaching can do wonders when you lack it, and so the first thing I would say, is to, 

• Find your inner peace. 

That means finding something like music, tv or a podcast, hypnotherapy or meditation, that can help switch off your mind and concentrate on where you are presently and focusing on your breathing and relaxing

• Read a Self Help book 

I have read many self help books, some that I have found not to be true but others inspiring, like Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule, Tony Robbins Awaken the Giant, or Sugar Mamma Million Dollar Project

• Get in touch with yourself 

Find a skill like I find walking that helps get in touch with myself, and yes the first tip I gave doing meditation can help too, but I find walking to be my therapy when I feel angry or frustrated, too much going on in my mind, and feel like I just want to scream, and I read an article about a lady who lost her father and it didn't hit her until she began running and did a run like never before, which help let out her sadness of her loss, and she said it was the most power thing ever, because she felt the grief and was the only way she could let it out to then feel at peace and get in touch with those feelings, as she at first couldn't cry and didn't realise how much grief she had

• Pray 

Now I know not everyone believes in God, but I do and it just as the first tip was, gave me peace and has helped me a lot. I tend to do this alot if a story of someone upsets me, if I feel like I am out of control of a situation or I feel that I just need God's help. I don't go to church but have done and did as a kid go to Sunday School. It has always been part of my life and it does guide me a lot

• Write 

 I live by my writing and now I am doing this as a living it is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done and it includes writing blogs, articles, music and in my journals. I just find it helps clear my mind and gain perspective. I find when you write your troubles down that it helps to face them, not avoid but make sense of them

• Be flexible 

What I mean is don't always follow the same routine all the time and mix it up a bit. As reputition can be good but we can get bored with doing the same thing. So be flexible and have days where you can choose whatever you like to do. We should all take time in doing what we want rather than what we have to all of the time

• Have a purpose 

Before you plan to do something, have a purpose of why you want to do it, as often we can do things for the wrong reason, such as drinking because we are angry, or sending someone a nasty text message because we find that to be the easiest way to venom your anger. Have a purpose in your life, so you do things that make you happy about living not hate it

Life should be something you look forward to not dread and to do these things above can help to be happier and more self aware of the goods things that make you, you and working areas you would like to improve on. 

So live it, breath it and enjoy it!

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

P.S: Please check out my Pinterest board dedicated to Project 2021:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2021/01/04/project-2021/

I also have a Facebook Group dedicated to this programme for 2021 if you would like to join:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/672751560073670

How to Jet Set Your Life to A Better Confidence

Hello and A Happy New Year! It is 2021, and time to start a fresh. I am so glad to see the back of 2020 and be ready for a new year. 

In this blog I am going to give tips on How to Jet Set Your Life to a Better Confidence. 

The thing you need to do is to write 3 things you wish to change and then create little steps that will lead to the ultimate goal. 

Example: I want to get back into my fitness, so I did a workout indoors yesterday and today I am going to go for another walk outdoors, and then tomorrow do another home workout, and then rest on Monday.

If you can find a song that gives you that boost of "Yeah I can change my life around" then play it. I was just told off for singing, but am I taking any notice? No. I just played the song by Paloma Faith called "I've Gotta Be Me" and have they come back up to say anything? No. 

Please see below Paloma's song:

If you wish to choose your own then go ahead. I also would advise to find a positive quote, and take a photo and frame it,or print it and then put it somewhere, where you can easily see it. 

This sounds to be right up my street today, and so I am going to add this to my vision board and my Life Coaching Tools board on Pinterest. 

https://ro.pinterest.com/carriesblognetwork/life-coaching-tools/

https://ro.pinterest.com/carriesblognetwork/my-vision-and-goals-for-2021/

I wrote a blog on my site Everyone Can Build A Castle about Developing a new story of your life, and if you want to stop feeling so bad about yourself, developing a different mindset to your life is the key to making such a change. See link below to this blog:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/12/31/kick-start-your-year-by-developing-a-new-story-of-your-life/

We can feel so sluggish this time of the year, of the weight we can add after Christmas, and when I was on the contraceptive pill I had ballooned in weight. This was some years back now, but I remember being told by someone close to me that I had gained weight, and even though they may have thought they were helping me by doing that, it did not.

I felt very unhuman and that I wasn't worthy of being happy with myself because I had put on a load of weight. 

In the end I came off the Pill and the weight dropped off of me. I would say to anyone who wants to be truthful to someone they know, that never make an issue over someones weight as it can lead to an eating dissorder and can torment that person for life, and it is about being healthy not super skinny. 

This is where I would ask you to write 3 things that makes you happy with your life and yourself and you can either write these down or type them and again put it somewhere so you can see it, and then remind yourself of these three things. 

Then I want you to write a letter to your younger self. Check out my Blog post where I have done this:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/12/24/how-you-would-like-to-be-remembered-writing-to-your-younger-self/

We are never going to be remembered for how good we are at putting make up on, how we did our hair or how we organized our homes, but of who we are and if we were kind or not. So sit down and write a sentence that you would like to be remembered by. 

Building Confidence comes with looking deep inside you and what triggers you to feel bad about yourself. 

Life is about living, being happy and having a purpose, so live but don't just exist.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie (L.M) X

Having Christmas Blues, how to deal with them and still seeing friends and family through another Lockdown

Hello and welcome! I really hope you had a good Chrismas, it is Boxing Day which is one of my Nans, my Nanny Rose birthday today, and this time 40 years ago we would go around to her flat she shared with my Grandad Jack to celebrate it and have Christmas Dinner there.

It is today or the day after where we can get the Christmas Blues, because all that planning and preparation makes us excited and then, its like a blink of an eye and gone until the following year.

I always got the Christmas Blues and I often suffered with SAD in winter time, which is Seasonal Affective Disorder, but it didn't have a name when I was a kid and just thought I had the hump because it meant going indoors earlier than the summer and going to bed early.

If you do suffer with SAD then you can get a Lumie Lamp which helps you wake up naturally during the winter and can make a difference. I was given one free when I worked for a manufacturer who made these, but I gave it away. I would buy one of these for the Winter time as it they can do wonders as I find this time of year your body clock can be all over the place.

Having Christmas blues is normal and can effect your confidence in the fact you feel you have nothing more to look forward. Being in Lockdown it is difficult to know what to do, but there are plenty of things. You can still see friends but limit it at the moment, and have some of your girl friends and have pamper evening where you watch a chick flick, paint each other nails and have a hair cut or dyed if someone there can cut hair and colour it for you.

Being in Lockdown does not mean we can't still have a life. The Queen god bless her is still going to celebrate with her family and I hope that I get to one day meet her Royal Highness again, as it has been a long time since I used to see her at Bolton Gardens with her sister Margarette as they were very close and always like a twosome. Where the Queen went so did Margarette. Plus the Queen Mother who was so down to earth you sometimes forgot she was the Queen mum. 

The other thing you can do is meet someone in the park, as a few are still open or just go for leisurely stroll around your home town as there will still be supermarkets open and just having a short catch up with them can do us wonders. We as people need socialising so you can still do it, even using Zoom or Face time, just being able to interact with people still, is so good for our wellbeing and should not allow Lockdown to stop us. 

I hope, like many that the Lockdown shifts soon so we can have some normality again and have a huge amount of people in one place again, as I an dying to see a Football match again. It has been a hard year and can't wait to see the back of it. 

I have a new love in my life that has helped me through this year and family that I have seen on the TV but forgot that I had met them years ago, and have seen my go from a complete state to someone who fought tooth and nail some days and still here to tell the tale of my last year's nightmare. 

Christmas should not be about you fighting for your life but about enjoying the people celebrating with you and taking in the day. I want my son and daughter, one day to have good memories like I did of Christmas time. That should not be taken away from them, and have them open more presents after Christnas too, so it is not over for them to quickly. 

So I hope you all have a good Boxing Day and I will see you in next weeks post where we will be in a new year. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie (L.M) X

So 

Getting Confident again for a New Year Ahead 2021

Hello and welcome to my blog post. Here I talk about Building Self Confidence and certain topics that have had an effect on me, being someone who struggled with Self Confidence, through out her life. 

I lost a lot of my confidence this year, as I really want to show my face on camera again to do more Youtube Videos, but got so upset because I felt like I just couldn't do it. 

I want to film for Youtube and have done a few different types of content for my Youtube channel, but I want people to see me again. 

Here is a link to my Youtube Channel:

https://www.youtube.com/user/cazzacheers1

I am going to get into it again, as I tell myself, and keep thinking no I'll do it next year.  

I do love filming but staying on track I find to be toughest thing about creating Youtube videos. I can get behind on uploading my videos, and have done so and then lost my Mojo to put my face on camera. 

The Key goal I have for next year is to get my confidence back to show my face on camera, as rumour has it, I may be on TV soon, so watch this space. And no it won't be on crime watch, but some really good programmes on TV. I love doing what I do as a blog writer and writing my books which I hope to turn into a TV series also. Writing has kept me going this year, and would not live without it.

I write practically every day and going to continue to do so. I am Getting Confident for a New Year Ahead for 2021 already and forget this year. I have already set out my writing plan for my books for next year. I am working on two already and want these to be done by the end of this year. 

I want to have a lot of things to look forward to, and be excited for a new year for a change. Often I have gotten upset of the new year, as felt like some years I haven't accomplished anything. 

This year has felt like 4 years together, but I think 2021 will go so quickly being that there is a lot of things on the horizon for me, and want a change and have a brand new beginning. 

I have already set out my goals for next year. I do this way before the end of the year, as I like to set out a plan for each year. 

I want to keep evolving and have another Online course that I have been putting together, so I will let you know once this is up. 

I want to in the New Year go outside my comfort zone a lot, and take on new challenges. I want to meet people I have not seen in years, and avoid old companions because they didn't care for me at all, and pretended to be my friend.

Having friends take the piss out of my hard work that I put my heart into disheartening, and made me see that they are just selfish and just want to use me rather then treasure my friendship. 

When I become friends with people I am a friend for life and not just for 5 minutes. They are the ones who sit by you when you are down and help you through tough times. 

Jealousy has been a keyword this year, and it is not a good trait to have and has caused me some harm just because I am working for myself now and is my own work, noone elses. 

So I hope you have a Wonderful Christmas and will blog next week on Christmas day. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie (L.M) X

P.S: Please check out my JustGiving page where you can donate money to the cause I am raising money for this year, which is a charity called Tommy's, who support and raise awareness of Stillbirths and Premature births, and so all donations are welcome:

To read all my blog posts you can visit my main site:

https://www.carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com

Please check out my Pinterest page too:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesblognetwork