Hello and welcome! So this is the first of my Google blog posts I like to do each week and in this blog I am talking about Working on my confidence/Being Kind to yourself and I have even created a Youtube video. See Below:
Please do not think that I am in anyway using my low self esteem to promote my blogs, because that is not my intention it is to share my experiences and to help you see that if you too have low self esteem like I have, there are ways that can help you, but I do get that my advice is not for everyone.
I find with confidence that it can be something that can drive you forward once you address the inner critic and by making changes, which are everlasting by days where you take care of yourself aswell as other people in your life, and do feel good activities, if you like to declutter, cook, read or like me writing.
I also use fitness too, and if I find that I have a lot of my mind to clear going for a brisk walk can do the trick, listening to good easy music and I have even and easy listening playlist too. See link here:
I have also create more life coaching videos too, and my recent one is about Victimisation which can course yourself to not be confident and that everything you do is being judged and held against you:
Confidence for me is "Learning to love yourself", "give myself credit and no more self doubting" or "Having more purpose in my life, by having good positive habits".
It is not something that happens overnight and can take years. Well in my case but take or look back on photos and write down what you were feeling and talking about it, and your feelings can help with, letting go of the past that may be effecting your confidence still and taking yourself away and be in a place literally that makes you feel it is good to be you and good to be alive.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: All my blog posts and videos can be found on my network site:
Being a child who lacked a lot of confidence I am very well aware now as a parent that my insecurities I have about myself can easily transfer to my son and other children I want to have, as I want them to be super confident and have a drive that they are capable of doing whatever they want, and I am never going to stop them, because everyone deserves a life they wish for and a future that is out of this world.
I want to be a supporter for all of my children and let them be who they want to be. I see my role as a guardian, support network and an open door to their hearts and help them should they have any worries and know without hesitation they can come to me for support and be a shoulder to cry on and be a carrier for their hearts.
I have always been super paranoid about my weight and about how I come across and how I impact people and I am so glad that through my blogs and through my other work I have done as got me in touch with so many people who have helped me with seeing that I have no need to be unconfient. Everyone can be what they want and I will never take away my children's belief in wanting to make something that can be seen as unreachable and I want them to have a life where they can travel and where they can have a bunch of friends and one day a family of their own.
I try not to dwell too much on my self criticism I often have, and have learned to fight against it and now can say that I am more happier with myself and more sure of myself. Last year and the year before were so tough that I am happy to still be alive and not made me sink but swim and grow further.
Kids can easily pick up when you are down and can sense when your anxious and worried too, and this can make them feel vulnerable and insecure. My son has had separation anxiety because at one point he kept wanting to sleep in my bed with me, I just don't always feel safe in doing this, but would give in as I could see that he was fearful of sleeping away from me and so let him sleep without needing to feel that type of fear.
He was purposely at one point wetting the bed so I would change his bedding but looking at it now, it was because he would have nightmares and didn't want to be on his own. If a kid lashes out or wets the bed, try not to get cross as they often do this to communicate that they are worried about something and need your reasurrance and love.
So I am very well aware of when I think low of myself as it does sneak in, I have a way of controlling it and I just will put on a bit of make up if it will make it better but don't want to be self obssessed which when you feel low of yourself, you can often feel.
Kids want you to be you and I would have sometime just talking with them and open up to them so they will open up for you.
If you don't ask a kid how they feel they won't often tell you, but their actions can speak out and can be a sign that they are feeling unhappy because they have sensed that you are.
Manhy thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: All my blog posts are added to my network site, which is:
As a kid I was always writing and has always been something I enjoyed and it is my kind of therapy. I began writing children's stories and then stemmed via writing a blog post, began writing more adult type books as I have gotten older, and I love it.
My life as a writer could be seen as repetitive some days, but that is why I mix it up. I have weekly posts I do and then I will write random posts on various topics coinciding with the main topic of the blog.
I do have a Bloglovin site where I blog too and where I share tips and ideas on blog writing and self published books: See link here:
It has built my confidence no end as it a skill that is natural and helps clear the mind, and with having so much positive feedback has seen that I may not like what I see in the mirror all of the time, but I have a naturally talented skill, and finding that skill that you look forward to each day can really help release endorphins and work on yourself.
When you have created that masterpiece it can be like finding a pot of gold and it is something to cherish and build on, and getting people saying "Yes I have been there" and "Its as if someone has seen into my world" is like music to my ears.
I did a video for my Life Coaching Programme I am putting together about Finding your talent and never copy, and may be of use to you. See this link here: https://youtu.be/vZsD-vECu9k
When it comes to writing the tips I would say is to just write and don't worry about editing, just write what is in your head and what you picture. When I first published a book it was a like a milestone that I had taken that step to a dream I had and that it was like doing a marathon for the first time, and thought I would never have that.
Finding a profession which is fulfilling and has a purpose, has been so rewarding by so many levels and once you see your book in print its something indescribable and those endless days typing and editing has paid off.
With writing it can be passed down to your kids and can be taught to so many and have so many benefits. I was not a lover of school, and so spending my afternoon's writing was a highlight as I and another girl called Helen, who'd I would sit next to writing, was a good bit that I can say that I liked about school.
It has made me grow as a person, and made me look at things differently and will continue on and say to all those who want to write to build their confidence to do so, and it doesn't have to be blogs or books, but writing a journal or a memoir, and even for a scrapbook.
So get pen to paper and open that world you wish to create.
I have struggled getting back to work as I have lost a lot of my confidence and having anxiety and psychosis has been hard, but using intervention it has been a massive help and I do take medication, and felt like it was not me and couldn't get myself back on track.
Thankfully my mental health is a lot better and I am in a place where I am acceptive of my life and yes it hit a dark spell but I am through that. I just felt my life was not great that I missed out on a lot. Yet I have a roof over my head, a have a son who is the most adorable little man and love watching him grow and I love being his mum. We do have a great bond and he brings out the child in me.
I am not saying I constantly hearing voices but became scared, and felt I was being followed and that my family were in trouble and it just all built and so I went a bit insane.
However I am fine and I am through it. Not being on social media all the time has helped, having a good steady routine. Being able to look after my on again has really been a massive turn as I would have anxiety over the school run, and dreaded the walk and would play what I can describe as movies of the most dreadful thing that could happen. I was in a state and felt out of control.
I was losing my mind. That includes returning to work and was working in childcare, in various nurseries and have anxiety over that too, and felt I couldn't do anything and making lots of mistakes and so it has taken its time but I am slowly bit by bit getting more confident each day and taking my time. I have stopped rushing around but taking gradual steps to being myself again.
Hello and welcome to my Building Self Confidence - The Ugly Duckling site and here I am sharing my video where I have introduced this blog site and given some tips.
This is the first video I have done for this year for this site and will make this a regular thing. Not sure if this will be every week but I will let you know.
Please see video below:
Building Confidence comes from within and so making a change to your normal everyday life can make all the diffference.
Hello and welcome to a new Self Confidence blog. In this blog I am writing about how Life Coaching to help you to feel more confident about yourself. I am going to use this as part of my new Programme I am putting together, Project 2020.
I have written blog post talking about it. see link:
It is basically a tool that helps to guide you forward to thinking better about yourself and having a focus.
I have found it help keep me calm when I feel underpressure and help me to achieve the things I have always dreamed of in my life.
This blog I write is all about Building Self Confidence and Life coaching can do wonders when you lack it, and so the first thing I would say, is to,
Find your inner peace.
That means finding something like music, tv or a podcast, hypnotherapy or meditation, that can help switch off your mind and concentrate on where you are presently and focusing on your breathing and relaxing
Read a Self Help book
I have read many self help books, some that I have found not to be true but others inspiring, like Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule, Tony Robbins Awaken the Giant, or Sugar Mamma Million Dollar Project
Get in touch with yourself
Find a skill like I find walking that helps get in touch with myself, and yes the first tip I gave doing meditation can help too, but I find walking to be my therapy when I feel angry or frustrated, too much going on in my mind, and feel like I just want to scream, and I read an article about a lady who lost her father and it didn't hit her until she began running and did a run like never before, which help let out her sadness of her loss, and she said it was the most power thing ever, because she felt the grief and was the only way she could let it out to then feel at peace and get in touch with those feelings, as she at first couldn't cry and didn't realise how much grief she had
Pray
Now I know not everyone believes in God, but I do and it just as the first tip was, gave me peace and has helped me a lot. I tend to do this alot if a story of someone upsets me, if I feel like I am out of control of a situation or I feel that I just need God's help. I don't go to church but have done and did as a kid go to Sunday School. It has always been part of my life and it does guide me a lot
Write
I live by my writing and now I am doing this as a living it is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done and it includes writing blogs, articles, music and in my journals. I just find it helps clear my mind and gain perspective. I find when you write your troubles down that it helps to face them, not avoid but make sense of them
Be flexible
What I mean is don't always follow the same routine all the time and mix it up a bit. As reputition can be good but we can get bored with doing the same thing. So be flexible and have days where you can choose whatever you like to do. We should all take time in doing what we want rather than what we have to all of the time
Have a purpose
Before you plan to do something, have a purpose of why you want to do it, as often we can do things for the wrong reason, such as drinking because we are angry, or sending someone a nasty text message because we find that to be the easiest way to venom your anger. Have a purpose in your life, so you do things that make you happy about living not hate it
Life should be something you look forward to not dread and to do these things above can help to be happier and more self aware of the goods things that make you, you and working areas you would like to improve on.
So live it, breath it and enjoy it!
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
P.S: Please check out my Pinterest board dedicated to Project 2021:
Hello and A Happy New Year! It is 2021, and time to start a fresh. I am so glad to see the back of 2020 and be ready for a new year.
In this blog I am going to give tips on How to Jet Set Your Life to a Better Confidence.
The thing you need to do is to write 3 things you wish to change and then create little steps that will lead to the ultimate goal.
Example: I want to get back into my fitness, so I did a workout indoors yesterday and today I am going to go for another walk outdoors, and then tomorrow do another home workout, and then rest on Monday.
If you can find a song that gives you that boost of "Yeah I can change my life around" then play it. I was just told off for singing, but am I taking any notice? No. I just played the song by Paloma Faith called "I've Gotta Be Me" and have they come back up to say anything? No.
Please see below Paloma's song:
If you wish to choose your own then go ahead. I also would advise to find a positive quote, and take a photo and frame it,or print it and then put it somewhere, where you can easily see it.
This sounds to be right up my street today, and so I am going to add this to my vision board and my Life Coaching Tools board on Pinterest.
I wrote a blog on my site Everyone Can Build A Castle about Developing a new story of your life, and if you want to stop feeling so bad about yourself, developing a different mindset to your life is the key to making such a change. See link below to this blog:
We can feel so sluggish this time of the year, of the weight we can add after Christmas, and when I was on the contraceptive pill I had ballooned in weight. This was some years back now, but I remember being told by someone close to me that I had gained weight, and even though they may have thought they were helping me by doing that, it did not.
I felt very unhuman and that I wasn't worthy of being happy with myself because I had put on a load of weight.
In the end I came off the Pill and the weight dropped off of me. I would say to anyone who wants to be truthful to someone they know, that never make an issue over someones weight as it can lead to an eating dissorder and can torment that person for life, and it is about being healthy not super skinny.
This is where I would ask you to write 3 things that makes you happy with your life and yourself and you can either write these down or type them and again put it somewhere so you can see it, and then remind yourself of these three things.
Then I want you to write a letter to your younger self. Check out my Blog post where I have done this:
We are never going to be remembered for how good we are at putting make up on, how we did our hair or how we organized our homes, but of who we are and if we were kind or not. So sit down and write a sentence that you would like to be remembered by.
Building Confidence comes with looking deep inside you and what triggers you to feel bad about yourself.
Life is about living, being happy and having a purpose, so live but don't just exist.
