Changing the look of ourselves

Do you look in the mirror or do you avoid?

I used to a lot and I hated fitting rooms in shops and this would make me get so upset that I would feel totally ugly. 

How many of you can identify with that?

I would love your answers if you do this and how you deal with them (coment below).

Making small changes can make all the difference or just one thing. I don't wear make up all of the time, but when I see hair above my lip it can make feel so alien, yet I know other women feel like this too. Polystictive Ovaries can cause this and so it can really destroy you in the heart, and I know people say "Well you've got all you limbs so you should feel lucky" but when you see a version of yourself that you don't recognise as you can be soul destroying. 

People would say use cream, get used to it, its not the most important thing, but being a woman having such problems, it can really drag us down and they say you shouldn't shave because it makes the grow back even longer and I used the NO NO but it didn't fix it and so I use razors and hate having to do this but I do so to make me feel better when I do, and it for me is taking control and taking actions to make me feel good. 

I don't want to be shaving my hair above my lip, but I feel the need to do so to make me feel happy with what I see in the mirror. I can understand why those who have had cancer and lose their hair due to Kimo wear a scarf to cover up the loss of hair and again I bet they wished the didn't have to/, but it makes them feel better so surely that is important? 

What I like to do is when I do feel good is take a selfie and created a photo book of these so when I have a down day about myself could look at it, I written some afirmations and journal too and I practice a lot of self care and this has been a game changer, like using a body scrub, mositerisers and nice shower gels. 

Just minimal changes can go a long way so give those a try. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Lose confidents in yourself when there is nowhere to go/how to still see people during the winter days

Hello and welcome to a new blog! Today's blog is about lose confidents in yourself when there is nowhere to go. 

This was me in the Spring where it was Lockdown and I was desperate to get outside but because of Lockdown, and felt a feeling of "Where can I go?" and I stayed in. I have a heart condition and that was why I was keeping myself indoors and safe.

When there is nowhere go to you can feel stuck and depressed, so if there is another lockdown I am still going to pop out and go for walks and visit any store that is open just to browse and to see new faces and places. 

I am still going to make sure that this Christmas is better than last year and say good morning to people if they say it to you, and you can still have playdates or meet ups you just have to keep your distance and why not take some hot chocolate in a flask to share with your kids and fellow parents, and going to use the time to exercise and still go for my walk on Christmas day which I love to do, and take my son out to play football or on his bike or scooter, and get outdoors. 

Getting in touch with nature always makes a different to me and watching the birds and Squirrels running around and if Bocketts Farm is open this year this is great to see some animals and even some raindeer, and pehaps Santa Claus. 

If you don't have family near you then make the most of the internet and other luxuries, and why not have a movie night with a few people around if you live on your own and do have friends and family close by. 

So lets not allow any lockdown to stop us from enjoying our lives.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

 

As if life was really that way/triggers of low self esteem feelings

I would love to be cured of my constant jabs at myself, but I have done this so much through my life to know that as much as I want those thoughts will soon creep back in if i don't act upon it. 

Since being in my 40's I have seen a lot of change in myself. I now am proud to be me and it has taken a long time to feel that way. 

Today I noticed my facial hair that I get just above my mouth really gets at me, thank god for skincare tbat I have a way to control it and for it to go and isn't really a lot but it makes me very self concious. 

If only there was a pill I could get to help prevent the growth of it. I would definitely take it and in fact I would think about having lazer treatment but that costs a lot so I have bought some disposable trimmers and did the treat to get rid of it. 

I am listening to a Paul McKenna book about confidence and has a lot of hyponsis tips in it, and gonna listen to it in a minute and found that his books are great to help me when having a down day about myself. Just being able to salute myself is a step forward and have been tried doing Mel Robbins The High Five Rule and go it ready to listen to on audio but been watching her videos that she has been making so you don't need to purchase the book, and it does help. 

when it comes to confidence I find when I am in a comfortable place I will make a coffee or a cup of tea without fear, but if it someone I don't know and worried about the atmosphere my low self esteem sets in and feel like I wish to be invisible at times. 

People think that you are not socialable but I am. As a kid I loved it when a whole group of us family and friend would go on holiday together because they were people I known from since a child and knew without being fearful. As a kid I would often be shy around family and could never workout myself why that is. 

Lacking confidence becomes a habit that is hard to break, but doesn't mean it can't be done and you can change, as I now see that it is a form of protection, and measuring the good with the bad. 

You can move on and to do that spend time to create new special things in your world, if it is a new make up rather than the some all the time or a scented candle when having a bath or reading a book. 

Is life how you make it? I am not sure now as I think mapping it out is better and go through, that was the passed, this is now and this is what is next. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Tea and Coffee how it comforts me and then lowered my confidence as a kid

As a kid I was a tea drinker and now I switch between the two, and it I am not sure if this is a normal thing being a grown up now, I do not know but with my tea I am quite precise in what I like. I am going to try and finish my jar of Nescafe, and not been great and gonna go back to Kenco Jar and there is a richer one I want to try. 

Why has these drinks come into my life?

Because when you get older your taste of things change, and for comfort. With tea I drank it like orange juice and has always been part of my life. When I have a cup it helps me reflect on things happening in my life, passed, present and future, yet my snn who is 8 years old has never had a cup and drinks water or milk and reminds me of the things I experienced in my life that is different for him. 

If he ever wanted to join me and in having a cup I would oblige as it never stopped me. Yet when tea did stain my teeth it made me really self conscious and felt ashamed of my teeth. 

I stopped drinking so much and the dentist at the time told me to cut down to 2 to 3 cups a day and this was hard as I was like, what else can I drink? I didn't drink water as I found it tastless and didn't help me, I didn't drink cans of drink as I could never finished one, and so it was tough to hear that, and did follow for a few days but not for long I was drinking so much. 

Now though I have 1 to 2 cups a day and may be a third in the winter, but I do cut it down and now my teeth are back to being white and learning as a kid I needed to do it when I was ready.

I love both tea and coffee but I no longer rely on it and do drink sodas and water now. 

How much my life has changed since a kid has made me see how much I have grown.

I no longer have to fear my teeth, I still struggle with the shape of my teeth but not the colour any longer, and so to be confident it means changing things in your life, the simplist of things, to keep building everyday you are alive. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Finding your confidence through the Winter and Autumn months

When it begins to get dark early I find it can effect your mood and feel that you don't to be up when it is dark and when it gets dark early it can feel like there is not enough time in the day, and I hated when working in London, it would be dark when you began your work and then dark when I would be going home.

Seeing the sun does lift me from my lack of confidence I still have this time of the year. I am starting to appreciate myself visually now, but it has taken a long time, and I would suffer with SAD sometimes and feel bleak around this time of the year. 

I am getting better on this, because I have had to do a lot of work of building my confidence up. It has progressed from being a child, to teenage years throughout adulthood. 

It often is the stress of the school run, when it is wet and rainy. I wish I could hybernate some days and getting up when it is cold tough and I hate it when it begins to get icy. 

The weather can have an influence of how you feel, and so it is good when you see the sun, get outdoors and enjoy it.

In England, you never know when the days will start to be colder and bleak and so Vitamin D is vital, and I love exploring whenever I can during the Autumn and Winter, and going to different places and can be nice to venture out, even when it is raining and chilly, and it all about wrapping up and just make the most of the good things about it, like treating myself to a hot chocolate or a coffee walking around London's national parks. 

The activities can make you burst with confidence as it helps with mindfulness and time to reflect and for me helps with my creativity and not become bored and lonely. Having good feelings about this time of the year as I write this blog on Halloween 2021, stops me feeling down about myself and focus on the good things in life. 

So how do you feel this time of the year? Do you suffer with SAD which can effect your confidence. 

You can leave a comment below. 

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X 

  

Don't put limitations on building your confidence

When it comes to confidence we often don't secretly want to be confidence because we fear other peoples reactions to this confident person that is still yet to come out.

That is limitations and can disrupt the change you want to have to be confident. We feel unworthy in having confidence and we tell ourselves, "I am never going to be confident because of XYZ".

This is not true and you are worthy. Do you still want to be lacking confidents when you are 50, 60 at 80? As when you stop it, it stops and will be on the wheel of confience and blocking yourself in creating a better view on yourselves and how you feel within. 

Within is where our confidence lives and often you want to keep it there, but then you look at someone thinking, I wish I had your confidents and you can have this. 

LET IT OUT!

Limitations are the door that shuts on you, and when people start to bitch, that becomes their issue not yours, so allow it to help grow into a confident person and let them see it. 

Work on building the support network you want and have a shuffle of letting people go to bring new people into your life. 

Set deadlines for yourself on working on your confidents and start creating an image of yourself with full confidence. If people don't have your back, then don't hold theirs and move on to the new people in who love your confidents and be there to help their's too.

So never put your confidents building to a hult and keep driving it up, so think about how you would get a car up a mountain and if you get to the top, give yourself a cheer and pat yourself on the back. 

We are our own makers and we all serve a place in this world. 

Many thamks for reading, 

Carrie X    

Finding your way through parenting

 As a parent I haven't always been super confident in fact having anxiety and being anxious did double. Sorry if this feels like I am scarmongering, I just like to give the facts but you find your way through. You will begin to see that kids from an early age will begin to make choices for themselves and want to do things without your help, and it can be a culture shock but when you have found your feet, you'll see that it can all fit in and will find a balance between you, the baby and non parent relationships and the other parent. 

Discussing any worries with your midwife whilst pregnant or trying to get pregnant is a great way to get advice and you can get counselling now when it comes to having children, which was never there before, and sitting down and chatting about it, along with other parents can give you real support and you'll be glad to have talked about anything that is causing you to feel anxiety still and anxiousness. 

Take each step as they come and I found comfort by learning about each stage of my pregnancy and wish I had a camera to see all the different stages as it is amazing and the biggest thing you'll ever do in your life. 

If you are tense your baby will feel it and so get prepared and have your stuff ready for the birth as soon as you have your 25 week scan. 

Have a budget when it comes to buying items for your baby and separate their money away from yours and have a changing basket in each floor and rooms you spend most of the time. 

I loved having a portable changing mat as it makes nappy changing a breeze.

Use a baby carrier for when they are new born and something I will do if I am able to get pregnant again. 

Finding items that are functionable and practical, like a portable changing areas and I used our items in the living as the bathroom where I lived when having Henry, wasn't big enough for baby changing to be done in there, so it was his room, a bed or the floors cleaned downstairs. 

I write a regular blog post on my site: https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

When people take sides and effects your confidence

Experiencing an end of a relationship, you'll discover many different emotions and dilemmas, like the change it means. Moving to a new home and sharing custody if you have children, and guilt especially you if like me ended it. 

It was not like I wanted it too and had it planned, I kept going through it as you get feelings, like will it change back and the emotions followed by the end of a friendship even, can hit like a knife but when one of you feel there's no spark anyone, it has to be what you decide, and what is the right answer? Often we look of answers when it is right in our face, and that is it can only go two ways, carry on praying it will fix it self or take action. Often you have to take action, however much it can hurt.  

With the end of friendships too, people will take sides and give advice when often we want to be listened to and yet people immediately in my experience jumped in front of the other person involved and then your left feeling like a criminal of some sorts. 

Yet it can be resolved by saying "Do you want to hear it from my side?" This gives them the choice, but people can be narrow minded and still not taking it in. I wrote a blog on my other site: everyonecanbuildacastle.com   about how to talk to someone when they don't want to listen? it is often you can't but give them the chance to, but if they are adament about it then it best to leave them and just support and back yourself and seek help elsewhere like Mind.org or even with mental health teams in your area. They usually separated going on borough in London and Surrey. 

So never feel guilt, and do like I did. We my ex-husband did sit down and talked, and now we are on good terms. I hope it can last this way and good for our some to be civil as you do have to remember if you have children they need to be told about what is happening and are listened to too. 

If it has knocked your confidence and self belief, then it is time perhaps to do something for yourself and take time to rebuild the wall around you and find people who are on your side and noone is sitting on the ledge, and being stuck in the middle of it. 

For me relationships I have had for years are like family and so when it ends it does really effect my confidence but I address and then go over and try to reach a medium and work on my self belief, and leave the window open for them, but only for so long. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Get Confidence in myself to do the School run again

So I suppose you will say looking at the Title think, how is the school run got to do with getting confidence in doing this everyday think in school year and why not relax and take in these moments?

Well I do, yet I found it the first year like I was on some kind of mission, and being stress head comes with these type of worries. 

Looking at the cause, it was to do with the route to school, as we would cross over a really busy road, and yet it only had one Zebra Crossing but was an extra 10 minutes walk, which I didn't mind, but my son wanted to cross without using this, and I know terrible, and yes I would have fears about it. 

Then my son wanted to walk a different route and suddenly I was fine. 

So to help confidence in doing the school run, if you take the less stressed route to school, do it, as it saves you get worried and dreading it. 

Life is full of roads and often it the way we've gone about it has made it difficult. 

Now I am all about keeping it simple. I wrote two parenting sites on Wordpress, if you wish to check them out:

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

To get confident with doing the school run, have everything packed ready for the day, within plenty of time, but also plan the different routes if there are many different ways and go through which would cause less stress about it. 

Show your children of the route and how you will be taking them and who will pick them up at the end of the day. 

Have a check-off list of what you need to take on hand, and if you can attach it to a wall or fridge, whatever available, and the most used space in your home, that you and you children can clearly see it. 

Do a separate list of what you need to take and they need to, and help the school run easier, have them pack their bags and tick off the list. 

Just keep it simple, use any free time you have and delegate if you can, and have one parent to drop off and the other to pick up. Keep comunicating with other adults who will be assisting you, including the school teacher and your child. 

So lets get the first day done and then whatever helps save the stress do it. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

Stand up and be counted/Never be excluded again/Happiness should be all round

Hello and welcome! If you would like to visit my Youtube channel then you can do so via this link:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

If you are lacking confidence, because of the way you look or feel, and you aren't being listened to then don't take this anymore. 

Stand up for yourself and if you are with someone who pushes you away that you love and dangles you in front of friends cause you are popular, you have a high profile and cause you are grabbing people's attention, and they aren't, then talk with them and see that it isn't out to get them, or be forgotten. We can all be friends, but I have learned now, in my 40's there are people who will always be like that, no matter what so, are they friends or not, that is what you need to ask them, and you be in charge to decide are they worth sticking by or not?  

Give yourself credit. Something that I have had to work on, and be counted. If you feel you are being pushed out then never be excluded again as they are doing it because they feel, that if you are happy that they aren't, but happiness can grow all round. If you are kind to someone then chances are they will be kind to you. 

If you open the door to someone and they don't acknowledge then say "Thank you wouldn't go a miss", and keep faith, not everyone is like that, but they feel that the door should be opened to them, when no I could have just ignored and closed the door in their face...yet would I do that, is that making me as bad as them? . 

I find when you meet someone who isn't thankful it can rub off, and working in Customer Service there were people who would ring to have an argument, because they don't care who you are or a friend, and someone who is expected to be rude to and angry at. 

This can lead again on you, and rubs off, and when I would go home to my ex-husband I would often explode.

Yet there are ways to have them change their minds, by agreeing "yes that it not right, let me help fix it" and I have been an angry customer, when I was gonna use BT to install our internet, because they had a great deal on their website, but they kept saying where I used to live we couldn't have the internet, because we didn't have a the right cable outside to do so, and every engineer who visited said the same. 

What did I do cancel, and they then would allow us to change over for about a month, and that didn't encourage me to then join BT but pushed me further away.

So again, stand up and be counted, and never be exclused again. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Life is yours so live it/Be your own date

Hello and welcome! I have been doing a 30 day challenge to write a blog a day for one of my Wordpress posts and today was the final day of that challenge and so if you want to read them then go to:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com 

In this blog post I am writing about Life is yours so live it and Be your own date.

So, tomorrow I am taking myself out and going to do a few errands and filming tomorrow for a couple of vlogs and then scheduling some Youtube videos for the week ahead and scheduling some blogs and work on my books.

I like having a whole day to do what I want and being the first week of the UK School summer holidays it is well needed. 

It also means tonight I don't have go to bed early and stay up a bit longer as I am looking after my son all week so it is good to have a free day and I am also gonna fit in a home workout and do more walking to up my steps again. 

With a child of 7 this is not always easy so when I can I use the days I have free to have "Me Time" and so pick a day with no kids and explore and I may even read my book if not raining out too or may have a coffee in a coffee shop and do a bit of work out doors for a change too. 

Life is about enjoying life, and errands don't have to be boring, so have a date with yourself and enjoy.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

Feeling like you don't belong/Be a loner/How I overcame these feelings

Hello anc welcome! This blog site is all about building confidence and as kid to an adult often felt like I didn't belong anywhere and felt this throughout my life and now I am in a place where I do and its blog writing and publishing books that have helped. I have always loved writing and is my passion. 

At school when I first started I would sit on a bench and watch the others kids having a good time and I would sit there hoping that someone would speak to me but didn't and had to work hard to build friends. I was never comfortable in that environment and I feel the problem was, was that you were to learn and that was it. 

Schools now encourage kid interaction and building good relationships with other kids as school does play a part in your life and I never liked being there. 

How I overcame this was when I began working and it was through work that made me feel important and not just someone who can print documents off or just another employee. 

I felt that I fitted in better and that it was an environment I needed and going to dancing school on Saturdays and did some casual work at first working at Fulham Football club, it all added up and then discovered the blog world and as they say the rest is history. 

I had found my niche and that is what is important what inspires you and builds you. You have to work on yourself in order to meet new people in your life. 

Did you know the Singer Celine Dion took 4 years out of her career to change image and to learned English to help expand her career as an artist and performer and it worked. I do take regular breaks from the blog world but I always come back and the good thing noone needs to know I have been aways its I do get burn out and often just need that time to reflect and to recharge.

Confidence is building your self inside an out not listening to critics or allowing them to take over but thrive with each Critism.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

When things turn for the worst/Hitting rock bottom/turning your life around

Hello and welcome! Last year was not a good one and I have written about it in other blogs around that time and afterwards, yet I couldn't for a while put pen to paper having the shakes that took over my body for a bit and the same this year when in a Mental Health hospital as the new pills the doctor prescribed made me have terribe side effects.

You can feel isolated and alone, and have terrible nights sleep, but all that for me is over and now i'm such a happy place.

Hitting rock bottom is not to be underestimated and often it can feel like a never ending cycle of not liking yourself, being angry at other people and thinking everyone is against you.  

You have to pull away from those feelings amd to do that go through who and what is in your life and if there is something you can change each day can really help you feel happier within yourselves.

Check out my book below which is all about making one change a day;

It is about taking the Jigsaw appart to find the pieces again, and so even if it is changing a shelf, cleaning your bath and lighting candles or doing a exercise workout it can all help to have a better wellbeing and be more happier withyourself.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

5 Ways to build confidence throughout the year

Even though we have been restricted of what we can do with ourselves it is still possible to build your confidence including dealing with setbacks still and to do that go through everything and start to deciding, What do I want out of today? The same thing each time or to do something different for a change. 

Here are 5 ways to build confidence throughout the year:

1. If you haven't ventured out yet but going to now why not book a restaurant to eat out and choose something that you wouldn't have if at home. I used to be very boring when it came to eating out. I was a real fussy eater but I have now come over that and eat more foods and for example I love eating duck and having scampi and chips. There is nothing worse than a boring diet so I go with if I am hungry I will eat now what like making it healthy like adding salad or a vegetable without a fuss. 

2. You don't have to be a famous person to reinvent yourselves. This is great to do as it helps to reset as a lot call it and time to get hair changed, clear out and go through your wardrobe to see if there are items not worn and if not and you fall in love again with the item then change it up a bit. like adding different buttons on it and up cycle your wardrobe.

3. Set yourself a challenge. I in May was doing 21 week challenges and in that time wrote a lot of EBooks available on Amazon and there are loads under my name Carrie Holmes, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Challoner. It is good to have these challenges as they make you see how much you can do, but focusing on one thing at a time break up the days and the weeks

4. Have a coffee routine. I was never a coffee drinker until I got older and it was in my 30's that all changed and love my three coffees a day two hot and one Iced and I looking forward to having them everyday.

5. Go for a bus ride. Now we are almost out of Locdown I love using my Qyster Card riding on several buses and go for a walk up London. I get such a buzz from doing this that I have to at least once a month travel up to London to get a bit of sunshine and exercise down and then may have a coffee in a park or have a bit of retail therapy as a reward. I find I walk more up London than locally and it just makes a nice change. I find it really gives me an energy that is undescribeable and crave it almost. 

So hope this blog helps you, thank you for viewing my blogs and remember to like if you would like to read more of mt blogs on this site. 

I have written a new book called Mum&Me available on: amazon.com

https://www.amazon.com/Mum-Me-Gucci-Tits-Queens-ebook/dp/B096ZPLGR9/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&qid=1624708745&refinements=p_27%3ACarrie+Holmes&s=books&sr=1-3

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

Work Confidence how to build it so you are always confident in what you do

When something goes wrong with work it can knock our confidence. Like falling out with co-workers and their being tension in the air that you couldn't cut it with a knife. You can move on from that and if it really makes you unhappy and dread everyday then it is your mind telling you, you need to change and look for another job. 

With the jobs I have had I have taken them as they came and took it in my stride and hast helped me with confidence. I have tried different professions and the ones that stand out for me, was working in a football club when I left school, and wrote a newsletter with one of my friends for the rugby supporters of a club I fell in love with and then Butlins. 

Go through your highlights so what has been good about the job and what hasn't and perhaps it may be the department you are in doesn't suit you and when I was having a hard tine at Butlins working Front of house and then spoke to the Manager and worked Back of house for a bit, and it did make me feel better and then I would work in other parts of the camp too, which helped me continue on. 

It is good to try the different jobs to find the one that matches and would say that Temping was good thing due to the amount of companies I worked for and once that was over, I would then move to the next one. 

If the company to courses you can do and is free, take advantage I was doing an NVQ in Food Safety, but I saw that I didn't want to work of that department any more. I wanted to be a Red Coat that was the reason I wanted to work within a holiday camp, I did a NVQ in Customer Service when I worked in a contact centre and anything like that is worth doing.

I also did pass my Intermediate Food Safety and Hygiene when working for a Holiday Camp and now I can work in cooking and restaurants for this, and if you like cookery then this is a good course to do. 

Take every situation and lesson to help you achieve more and sit down to go over what changes you wish to make and the pros and cons for working in a industry and find out if it is for you, if not sit down and go through what would make you happy and how can you over come the challenges of work, depending the job and can you grow independently and if you need help find a Mentor that can help and a lot of is learning on the job.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

3x tips on having a High Expectation of ourselves/over estimating/putting too much pressure on ourselves

We can be so self critical at times that we put too much of a high expectation on ourselves that we over estimate of what we can do, that we think we have to carry so much on our shoulders. 

Here are 3 tips on how to stop too of a high expectation:

Tip#1: Rein yourself in and ask yourself, can I break down the expectations I have for myself?

I often have to do this, and see that I can't do it all, however much I try.

Its not even about doing it all, but setting a daily goal of what you like to and what you have to do.

Tip#2: When you have errands that you don't really enjoy but got to do them, set 5 minutes or 10 to get it done, and then go back to the things you want to to do.  

This helps break up your day up and control your expectation of yourself.

Tip#3: Listen to your mind and what it wants and the body too. If you craving social interaction, then set a date to see friends again. That is the thing with Lockdown not seeing people who are important in your life can be hard, but now we can make that time again, and even go for a drink in the afternoon in a pub.

Our bodies want different things, so listen to it and ease your craving and get outdoors with the sunshine so you can a bit of Vitamin D and make sure you protect yourself from the sun, but I have been going out early before it gets too hot during the day.

I really hope these blogs help you and see in soon,

Carrie X 

Key areas in your life you can learn from/How to get over the mistakes we have made

Life is full of mistakes and it can be that we have chosen the wrong person to talk to, because they may have passed judgement and told other people, when you told them in good faith, being a friend. We all make mistakes, but how you learn from them is different. 

You find yourself over analysing every situation of how it could have been, how it wasn't what you thought. Example jobs that look fantastic on paper, but then you realise "This job is not meant for me".

So you go back out there into the working world, finding a good mindset to do something different which is working within an industry you wanna work in. 

I have had many jobs, and used to do Temping work, which really helped tied me over until I found work at a Holiday camp, which is something I have wanted to do since a kid. It was a totally different world, but was a good choice because he bought the happy go lucky girl back and it was like working and having a holiday at the sametime. 

That is key area in my life that has helped made me who I am today. I felt fulfilled when I worked there, yet I did still have bad days, but it was good to go out there to see what it was like. I did get homestick at one point but stuck with it. This is another Key area in my life that has helped to the next job I took. 

Key areas are those in your life that gives you a reason for being here, and it is finding out who you are. Getting away from my life as i knew it before working a holiday camp, was perfect timing. I loved being able to watch a show for free, and would help in other venues for guests clearing glasses and wiping tables.

The hours can be long, and Christmas time was the one for me, as we would recruit via other camps and were some of the things that has helped me come out of my shell and socialise with other stuff aswell being a member of the audience too.

So lets enjoy our freedom at last and see you in another blog on this site soon.

Manu thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Should we rely on medication when it comes to building confidence?

Hello and thank you so much for viewing my blogs so far, it really means the world to me, so yes thank you. It is nice to receive good feedack so I know how my blogs are reaching across to you in the way i want it too.

In this blog I am talking about, 

Should we rely on Medication when it comes to building confidence?

It all depends on what the issue is. If you suffer with anxiety then there are medications out there for you to take, but it should never be the only thing needed in order to control your anxiety over the way you look, function each day and going out. Also many medicines for Anxiety come with side effects too, yet it is something to consider, and chat with your doctor of what you can take and ask for ones that have less side effects you can start off with.

I am on a new medication now that was changed a couple of days ago, and it has been a brilliant change, as I did have a lot side effects from one of them and so I was relieved that it has been reduced and now with other medicine during the day has helped me get back to myself. 

It for me is dependant on each individual and have a purpose of why they need to take the medication. There is also a crissis line you can call should you feel you need more support aswell as the medication.

So in terms of confidence, you can get stimulents, but again it has to be given to you buy trained qualified doctors and nurses. Never buy online from an unusual source, but you can even go straight to a pharmacy to ask for advise in terms of medication.

Try though going through you daily life too and reflect and keep a journal of how the medicine in going, has it changed the way you feel about yourself, are you much more controlled in terms of physically and in mind. 

I am not going to go through the ins and outs of medication, because that should be from a qualified medical source, but they keep you stablised then I am all for taking medicine for anxiety which can lead to other issues.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

The Word Confident/How you can get instant confidence/Making it Simple

When I was doing a home study course in fitness and nutrition, it read in a the book I was studying from that if there was a pill that can give you instant fitness it would be sold out in a second, and the same for confidence, but honestly it is simple we just like I have made it harder for myself. 

Getting fit is how I did it, I just decided I would start to do running and do home fitness, then I moved into using the gym and then I did other forms like Military fitness and that is one method. 

The second one is have a day where you wear something different to other days, like a dress and some make up for a change, and have your hair done. Now lockdown as started to shift, itis now possible to get our head done, and yes I will be one of those, getting mine done. I am desperate to dye my hair and have it cut. 

With confidence it can be how you go about your day. Forget To do lists for a bit of time and go through the itens you have put down, does any of it include you? If not include things for yourrself. It is important we all give ourselves time to get things done for us, not just for everyone else. 

I really want to find a good gym where I can do boxing training, as it is a great way to destress and so I hope to be in a new home that is being sorted out for me and find somewhere I can do some boxing, pilates and a dancersize workout. I know I have mentioned this above but, stress can also effect our confidence as when we feel we haven't accomplished everything we said we'd accomplish each day we can feel like we have let ourselves and other people down. So find something that eases that stress and don't give yourself too much to do.

When it comes to confidence you need to make sure that you are feel good alround and having a bath once a week can make all the difference. Or twice a month especially if you have kids, and showers are quick in that you not having to wait for the bath tub to fill up and be at the temputrature you want. 

Clean and area of your home. This doesn't have to be everyday but set a day or a time in the week to just do a clean on one area at a time. I wrote a blog about how dropping some powdered milkshake was a sign that "not to put it off and clean my desk" so I did. I have written an EBook about Change on thing a day see below:

What you want to do is take the stressors away and not allowed them to build, and just adding one item to clean in the week can help the mood. I am not a fan of cleaning but I do like the ending result. It has been a game changer, and you'll be surprised how a spray of polish can make all the difference to your home, along with a scented candle.

This comes to the last thing, Treat Yourself, buy a scented candle of your favourite scent, create a dsiplay on windowsill, but not too much in case of a fire and it is the only escape route, and on shelves and on worktops. 

I hope you are having a good Sunday and have a good week ahead too. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

New Building Self Confidence Video/Life coaching/5 Things to help with confidence

Hello! Happy Friday! So here is a new Self Confidence video, which I am adding as part of my Life coaching content, and is shared with my site: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com 

In this video I am sharing 5 Things to help with confidence:

It all about building a Good Relationship with yourself and then build relationships with that, and taking time to focus on you, and ways in which you can do that. 

Many thanks,

Carrie X

How to Feel Better when there has been a Bereavement and you feel low about yourself

Hello and it is Saturday night that I am beginning this blog, as I want to talk about how to feel better when you have lost someone in your life and it can turn your world upside down, I want you to if you can watch this video talking about discussing with your family of when it is your time to go, that you have let your family know what you want. 

I find the words RIP tough and so I avoid it because, it means final and that's it. Yet I like to believe that people move on and they are reincarnated or they stay in heaven watching over the people they love and are no longer in pain, but happy and free from harm. 

Everyone deals with someone passing, as I like to call it,and I like to think I will see them again. 

So, think about what would help you feel better about a person in your life passing in a way that doesn't bring further sadness but gives you peace and take time to address it when you are ready and take every step one at a time. 

When you detour feelings that rise within you they can become stronger than ever before and so take notice of them and do allow yourself sometime to just be with yourself. 

I tend to dream about those passing on, and it is usually after a day or two after their death and it took me for ages to get into my head that my Nan Skinner was no longer around and felt like whole chunk of my life as I knew it had come to an end, and it was a massive adjustment. 

That is the thing when you have known some so long and they have been influential in you life, it can feel like "Wow I am not sure if I like this, will I ever get used to this turn in my life?"

I will when someone has passed on shut down and then deal with my life again once I have allowed the knowledge that, that person has gone and fully adjusted. 

So, I hope you have not had a bad Lockdown experience and it is steadily shifting.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Dealing with growing up being bullied by other kids

As a kid I was very much the loner, and this began at Primary school and very shy, yet when my mum left on my first day, I never cried but tried to get to grips with it. I was bullied by kids in the higher years and would threaten to cut me open and I believed it. 

I made sure when I went to Secondary school this would never happen again and thankfully it didn't. I still lacked confidence, and still felt out of my depth but I learned how to make sure I looked after myself too. i did have an eating disorder and kept it quiet but was paranoid about my weight. I had which kids would pick on me about my teeth and they way I spoke, but I still tried my hardest not to allow these jabs as much as possible and fought my way through my school years as I couldn't wait for them to be over. 

I witnessed other kids being bullied, and being picked on, and there were kids at Primary school got bullied a lot worse bullying, like one of the boys in the other years, couldn't walk down a corridor without being told he smelled, yet he never picked a fight and went around putting up with it.

I did tell my mum and she dealt with it, and spoke to one of the teachers about it. I felt like I was some sort of doll being so petite, not grown much now I am 40, I guess some kids are born small, and that is me. 

That would bother me, my height and this effected how other kids would treat me, but I held my own and have accepted my height now, yet I would pray to be tall, I guess God has no control over this, so it is as it is. I will always be petite and so acceptance of yourself makes all the difference. 

It not about how a person looks but are treated, because of it and raise you voice, don't deal with bullying silently and tell someone. Now there is Safeguarding, for kids and so that has made a massive change and if kids continue to bully they will be taken into a another class and teachers will speak with parents about it. Some parents can be unaware of their child being bullied at school, so working in a few nurseries I had worked, if you spot any signs like body language, scared and withdrawn, then it could be a sign and so parents will be told and chatted in private. 

Bullying can be a factor of how child feels and can travel with them as they grow, so encourage kids to speak to someone and get support. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X    

New Begnnings and challenges

Hello and weleome! So since I wrote this blog post so much has changed so I wanted to update you all. I have had new beginnings in that I am now in a new relationship, some of my friendships have changed and my working life has changed.

This blog post in sponsored by the #mentalhealth organisation Mind.org who help and support Mental Health. 

It is so good to have a fresh start and for me this is what this year has all been about. Now I am doing a programme called "Project 2021", which is a Life Coaching programme, fall of tools and information to help you have a better year and a better life.

I never thought I'd say the next sentence, and that is "I am loving life" not the environment I am in, as this is on the cards to change, but in terms of work and being in a finally a Very Much in Love relationship, and as Donna Summer sang "This Time I know Its for real". 

In terms of challenges I have started new habits, I get up early like I have now to start work, I am creating new EBooks everyday, and so look under the name Carrie L.M or Carrie Lee Holmes, I am starting to bet back into fitness, and I am writing more songs. I am so looking forward to my fresh start and the other items and opportunities that are coming my way and really think that often you have to take on the rough with the smooth, but if I can get out of a dark hole I found myself last year, so can you.

Find something that makes you smile and pin it to a wall or somewhere you look everyday to start making a change.

Many thanks for reading.

Carrie X

Self confidence the ugly ducking

As a kid I have always wanted to reach out and help with someone who like me felt like the ugly duckling. Since I began this blog so much has changed, I am a parent, got back into writing and followed my dream of always wanted to write a book, and I did. The first one being The Parenting Adventures, Pregnancy to the first 9 months, and is available on amazon.com under my married name, Carrie Challoner.

I have build a ways to not feel like the ugly duckling by working on myself. I want my son to be proud of me and my family and began doing running different events to raise money for charity. 

I came across life coaching and through discovering people like Tony Robbins, and I have changed my mindset. 

Last year I spent time in a Mentalhealth hospital and it really did help me a lot. Life got to much and I was unhappy of my life, because I felt like I was chasing dreams rather than following them. 

I was diagnosed as having psychosis, and hearing voices telling me different things about how I felt about myself and had what I can only describe a break down. Now I feel better than never and proud of what I have done with my life, for the first time. It has taken a lot for me to look at me in a different light, and now sleep better than ever, I exercise by walking and doing home workouts, reading books again and taking my son out to different places and no longer feels like such a struggle, and so I hope my blogs on this has helped you, and long may it continue. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

5 Ways to Live life to the full/New EBook on Building Self Confidence

So I never actually completed the writing of this blog post, so as I have a bit of free time to do so, I thought I would write it now.

Lets start by saying that I think we are already to let go of Lockdown and COVID, and have more social gatherings again, as I am missing the interaction of people, and I joked today doing my new Get Ready with me video for today, that I am so in need of a good Pub Lunch.

Its amazing how you can miss such things but I really am. Anyways, 5 Ways To Live life to the full, yes and with this Pandemic that struck us all, is a more of an opportunity to turn your life around and not allowing Lockdown stress you out. Use it as an opportunity to do things you would have never done if Lockdown had not hit us. 

Now I am not saying I am happy about not being able to go into my favourite non essential stores, but never allow it to restrict you, in living the life you have always wanted.

1. So I wrote a new EBook about Building Self Confidence talking about, How to learn about yourself and accepting yourself, and that is the first step, because if you are forever putting yourself down then you are never going to move on from that. You end up, and I sharing this on experience, going around in circles and never feeling like you are going anyway

A good way of doing this is to have a sort through your wardrobe, and go through passed photos of when you did feel good about yourself and display them and write down why you were so happy then, compared to now.

2. Be spontenious. So I remember when I was working up in London, and it was one of my friends birthdays, but it was on a Tuesday in the week, and so we met up for a few drinks, but because it was such a wonderful evening, no trouble or anything, and everyone was buzzing, we then went onto a nightclub and stayed out until three in the morning. Now I did something that was naughty I called in sick the next morning, so don't do that, but what made it a good evening, was that it wasn't planned at all, and it was one of the best nights I've ever had. 

3. Do something you though. So like, apply to be a contestant on a Quiz show, or do a Marathon. They can be life changing, and if you do it to rt you never do  raise money for charity, then it is more of an incentive to challenge yourself.

4. Look like a star. So if there is someone you admire, in terms of looks and how they carry themselves, then why not dress like a star yourself. I don't mean start putting lines of make up on your face like Adam Ant, which to be fair, was in, in the 80s but have fun with fashion and make up. There are make up tutorials on Instagram and Youtube. I am yet to discover Tik Tok, but it is on the agenda, so I will at some point, but just have fun with trying different styles of make up and clothes, so it gives a day a purpose.

5. Be with nature and the outside world. So, even in Lockdown it has still be worth, sitting in my local park to watch the world go by and why not take your work outdoors in the garden, so you have time with the outside world, instead of locking yourself away.

So honestly make the most of each day and do something different so you are living it, loving it and breathing it.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

Building Self confidence with Parenting

Here is a new Building Self Confidence video, about Building confidence as a parent. It can be daunting aswell as exciting and so is good to be calm and less stressed, please check out my new Video below:

It is good to just be flexible as a parent and never stop them from being kids. It is important that you get to know parenting and your baby and not rush but blend more into it. 

Please see my new EBook about Having a Baby and Easy Parenting without the Stress for a Single Parent

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08ZC9HYL4/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Carrie+Lee+Holmes+having+a+baby&qid=1616069461&sr=8-1

I hope you find this blog helpful and many thanks for reading, 

Carrie L.M X

Building your confidence through singing and dancing

So it is Monday and I am writing this blog as I listen to a playlist via Youtube and I love getting on with my work singing and dancing in my chair. 

THAT IS THE LIFE PEEPS AND HOW i ROLL!

Now some may find it annoying, and soon I will be in a new home and starting a new life and when I am gone I am still gonna sing and dance as it helps me with my #mentalhealth, and it is good to put on some tunes and zone out, and it is great for easing tension and clearing the mind of cobwebs, just like walking. 

The good thing about singing and dancing is good for the confidence because you can do whilst your cleaning the house and when you are washing up, cooking dinner and just GET WITH IT! That is why I love music and singing as it is what has helped keep me going. 

Would you believe that when I was singing someone actually called a Ambulance, and I know this should be taken as a insult I actually found it funny, as I bet there are worser singers than me and YES THEY DID!

 

So there are groups you can join like the Rock Choir and I did go to a Adult community class in Hammersmith and Fulham and did Singing and drama and were great fun, and is a good way to meet new people and when I worked at Butlins I would always be singing and dancing in one of the bars and theatres on camp. It was so good after a days work, to let my hair down and just dance and sing the night away. 

Never be afraid as once you start it can be very addictive and you'll be surprised when you dance indoor or at a club, how many calories you burn. It is a god send, so put on those tunes and dance to your hearts content and sing you heart out.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie L.M X

P.S: All my blogs and videos can be found on my network site:

https://carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com

Working on my Confidence/Being kind to yourself

Hello and welcome! So this is the first of my Google blog posts I like to do each week and in this blog I am talking about Working on my confidence/Being Kind to yourself and I have even created a Youtube video. See Below:

Please do not think that I am in anyway using my low self esteem to promote my blogs, because that is not my intention it is to share my experiences and to help you see that if you too have low self esteem like I have, there are ways that can help you, but I do get that my advice is not for everyone. 

I find with confidence that it can be something that can drive you forward once you address the inner critic and by making changes, which are everlasting by days where you take care of yourself aswell as other people in your life, and do feel good activities, if you like to declutter, cook, read or like me writing.

I also use fitness too, and if I find that I have a lot of my mind to clear going for a brisk walk can do the trick, listening to good easy music and I have even and easy listening playlist too. See link here:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0AyektQNGDF-5OzYS9zulWwUE1XHPlIS

I have also create more life coaching videos too, and my recent one is about Victimisation which can course yourself to not be confident and that everything you do is being judged and held against you: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Afbd3LblfMQ&list=PL0AyektQNGDFmE8QBKFktqKMwZ2bswZoc

Confidence for me is "Learning to love yourself", "give myself credit and no more self doubting" or "Having more purpose in my life, by having good positive habits". 

It is not something that happens overnight and can take years. Well in my case but take or look back on photos and write down what you were feeling and talking about it, and your feelings can help with, letting go of the past that may be effecting your confidence still and taking yourself away and be in a place literally that makes you feel it is good to be you and good to be alive.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

P.S: All my blog posts and videos can be found on my network site:

https://carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com 

Not allowing insecurities to effect your children

Being a child who lacked a lot of confidence I am very well aware now as a parent that my insecurities I have about myself can easily transfer to my son and other children I want to have, as I want them to be super confident and have a drive that they are capable of doing whatever they want, and I am never going to stop them, because everyone deserves a life they wish for and a future that is out of this world. 

I want to be a supporter for all of my children and let them be who they want to be. I see my role as a guardian, support network and an open door to their hearts and help them should they have any worries and know without hesitation they can come to me for support and be a shoulder to cry on and be a carrier for their hearts. 

I have always been super paranoid about my weight and about how I come across and how I impact people and I am so glad that through my blogs and through my other work I have done as got me in touch with so many people who have helped me with seeing that I have no need to be unconfient. Everyone can be what they want and I will never take away my children's belief in wanting to make something that can be seen as unreachable and I want them to have a life where they can travel and where they can have a bunch of friends and one day a family of their own. 

I try not to dwell too much on my self criticism I often have, and have learned to fight against it and now can say that I am more happier with myself and more sure of myself. Last year and the year before were so tough that I am happy to still be alive and not made me sink but swim and grow further.

Kids can easily pick up when you are down and can sense when your anxious and worried too, and this can make them feel vulnerable and insecure. My son has had separation anxiety because at one point he kept wanting to sleep in my bed with me, I just don't always feel safe in doing this, but would give in as I could see that he was fearful of sleeping away from me and so let him sleep without needing to feel that type of fear. 

He was purposely at one point wetting the bed so I would change his bedding but looking at it now, it was because he would have nightmares and didn't want to be on his own. If a kid lashes out or wets the bed, try not to get cross as they often do this to communicate that they are worried about something and need your reasurrance and love. 

So I am very well aware of when I think low of myself as it does sneak in, I have a way of controlling it and I just will put on a bit of make up if it will make it better but don't want to be self obssessed which when you feel low of yourself, you can often feel. 

Kids want you to be you and I would have sometime just talking with them and open up to them so they will open up for you. 

If you don't ask a kid how they feel they won't often tell you, but their actions can speak out and can be a sign that they are feeling unhappy because they have sensed that you are.

Manhy thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

P.S: All my blog posts are added to my network site, which is:

https://carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com 

My Life as a Writer and how it has built up my confidence

As a kid I was always writing and has always been something I enjoyed and it is my kind of therapy. I began writing children's stories and then stemmed via writing a blog post, began writing more adult type books as I have gotten older, and I love it.

My life as a writer could be seen as repetitive some days, but that is why I mix it up. I have weekly posts I do and then I will write random posts on various topics coinciding with the main topic of the blog. 

I do have a Bloglovin site where I blog too and where I share tips and ideas on blog writing and self published books: See link here:

https://www.bloglovin.com/@carrieholmes40

It has built my confidence no end as it a skill that is natural and helps clear the mind, and with having so much positive feedback has seen that I may not like what I see in the mirror all of the time, but I have a naturally talented skill, and finding that skill that you look forward to each day can really help release endorphins and work on yourself. 

When you have created that masterpiece it can be like finding a pot of gold and it is something to cherish and build on, and getting people saying "Yes I have been there" and "Its as if someone has seen into my world" is like music to my ears. 

I did a video for my Life Coaching Programme I am putting together about Finding your talent and never copy, and may be of use to you. See this link here: https://youtu.be/vZsD-vECu9k 

When it comes to writing the tips I would say is to just write and don't worry about editing, just write what is in your head and what you picture. When I first published a book it was a like a milestone that I had taken that step to a dream I had and that it was like doing a marathon for the first time, and thought I would never have that. 

Finding a profession which is fulfilling and has a purpose, has been so rewarding by so many levels and once you see your book in print its something indescribable and those endless days typing and editing has paid off. 

With writing it can be passed down to your kids and can be taught to so many and have so many benefits. I was not a lover of school, and so spending my afternoon's writing was a highlight as I and another girl called Helen, who'd I would sit next to writing, was a good bit that I can say that I liked about school. 

It has made me grow as a person, and made me look at things differently and will continue on and say to all those who want to write to build their confidence to do so, and it doesn't have to be blogs or books, but writing a journal or a memoir, and even for a scrapbook. 

So get pen to paper and open that world you wish to create. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

How to build your confidence to get back into work

I have struggled getting back to work as I have lost a lot of my confidence and having anxiety and psychosis has been hard, but using intervention it has been a massive help and I do take medication, and felt like it was not me and couldn't get myself back on track. 

Thankfully my mental health is a lot better and I am in a place where I am acceptive of my life and yes it hit a dark spell but I am through that. I just felt my life was not great that I missed out on a lot. Yet I have a roof over my head, a have a son who is the most adorable little man and love watching him grow and I love being his mum. We do have a great bond and he brings out the child in me. 

I am not saying I constantly hearing voices but became scared, and felt I was being followed and that my family were in trouble and it just all built and so I went a bit insane. 

However I am fine and I am through it. Not being on social media all the time has helped, having a good steady routine. Being able to look after my on again has really been a massive turn as I would have anxiety over the school run, and dreaded the walk and would play what I can describe as movies of the most dreadful thing that could happen. I was in a state and felt out of control. 

I was losing my mind. That includes returning to work and was working in childcare, in various nurseries and have anxiety over that too, and felt I couldn't do anything and making lots of mistakes and so it has taken its time but I am slowly bit by bit getting more confident each day and taking my time. I have stopped rushing around but taking gradual steps to being myself again. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X  

Intro Video to this blogsite and sharing some tips

Hello and welcome to my Building Self Confidence - The Ugly Duckling site and here I am sharing my video where I have introduced this blog site and given some tips. 

This is the first video I have done for this year for this site and will make this a regular thing. Not sure if this will be every week but I will let you know. 

Please see video below:

Building Confidence comes from within and so making a change to your normal everyday life can make all the diffference. 

Many thanks and I will see you in the next post

Carrie X

Life Coaching to help you to feel more confident about yourself

Hello and welcome to a new Self Confidence blog. In this blog I am writing about how Life Coaching to help you to feel more confident about yourself. I am going to use this as part of my new Programme I am putting together, Project 2020.

I have written blog post talking about it. see link:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2021/01/04/project-2021/

So what is Life Coaching? 

It is basically a tool that helps to guide you forward to thinking better about yourself and having a focus. 

I have found it help keep me calm when I feel underpressure and help me to achieve the things I have always dreamed of in my life. 

This blog I write is all about Building Self Confidence and Life coaching can do wonders when you lack it, and so the first thing I would say, is to, 

• Find your inner peace. 

That means finding something like music, tv or a podcast, hypnotherapy or meditation, that can help switch off your mind and concentrate on where you are presently and focusing on your breathing and relaxing

• Read a Self Help book 

I have read many self help books, some that I have found not to be true but others inspiring, like Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule, Tony Robbins Awaken the Giant, or Sugar Mamma Million Dollar Project

• Get in touch with yourself 

Find a skill like I find walking that helps get in touch with myself, and yes the first tip I gave doing meditation can help too, but I find walking to be my therapy when I feel angry or frustrated, too much going on in my mind, and feel like I just want to scream, and I read an article about a lady who lost her father and it didn't hit her until she began running and did a run like never before, which help let out her sadness of her loss, and she said it was the most power thing ever, because she felt the grief and was the only way she could let it out to then feel at peace and get in touch with those feelings, as she at first couldn't cry and didn't realise how much grief she had

• Pray 

Now I know not everyone believes in God, but I do and it just as the first tip was, gave me peace and has helped me a lot. I tend to do this alot if a story of someone upsets me, if I feel like I am out of control of a situation or I feel that I just need God's help. I don't go to church but have done and did as a kid go to Sunday School. It has always been part of my life and it does guide me a lot

• Write 

 I live by my writing and now I am doing this as a living it is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done and it includes writing blogs, articles, music and in my journals. I just find it helps clear my mind and gain perspective. I find when you write your troubles down that it helps to face them, not avoid but make sense of them

• Be flexible 

What I mean is don't always follow the same routine all the time and mix it up a bit. As reputition can be good but we can get bored with doing the same thing. So be flexible and have days where you can choose whatever you like to do. We should all take time in doing what we want rather than what we have to all of the time

• Have a purpose 

Before you plan to do something, have a purpose of why you want to do it, as often we can do things for the wrong reason, such as drinking because we are angry, or sending someone a nasty text message because we find that to be the easiest way to venom your anger. Have a purpose in your life, so you do things that make you happy about living not hate it

Life should be something you look forward to not dread and to do these things above can help to be happier and more self aware of the goods things that make you, you and working areas you would like to improve on. 

So live it, breath it and enjoy it!

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X

P.S: Please check out my Pinterest board dedicated to Project 2021:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2021/01/04/project-2021/

I also have a Facebook Group dedicated to this programme for 2021 if you would like to join:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/672751560073670

How to Jet Set Your Life to A Better Confidence

Hello and A Happy New Year! It is 2021, and time to start a fresh. I am so glad to see the back of 2020 and be ready for a new year. 

In this blog I am going to give tips on How to Jet Set Your Life to a Better Confidence. 

The thing you need to do is to write 3 things you wish to change and then create little steps that will lead to the ultimate goal. 

Example: I want to get back into my fitness, so I did a workout indoors yesterday and today I am going to go for another walk outdoors, and then tomorrow do another home workout, and then rest on Monday.

If you can find a song that gives you that boost of "Yeah I can change my life around" then play it. I was just told off for singing, but am I taking any notice? No. I just played the song by Paloma Faith called "I've Gotta Be Me" and have they come back up to say anything? No. 

Please see below Paloma's song:

If you wish to choose your own then go ahead. I also would advise to find a positive quote, and take a photo and frame it,or print it and then put it somewhere, where you can easily see it. 

This sounds to be right up my street today, and so I am going to add this to my vision board and my Life Coaching Tools board on Pinterest. 

https://ro.pinterest.com/carriesblognetwork/life-coaching-tools/

https://ro.pinterest.com/carriesblognetwork/my-vision-and-goals-for-2021/

I wrote a blog on my site Everyone Can Build A Castle about Developing a new story of your life, and if you want to stop feeling so bad about yourself, developing a different mindset to your life is the key to making such a change. See link below to this blog:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/12/31/kick-start-your-year-by-developing-a-new-story-of-your-life/

We can feel so sluggish this time of the year, of the weight we can add after Christmas, and when I was on the contraceptive pill I had ballooned in weight. This was some years back now, but I remember being told by someone close to me that I had gained weight, and even though they may have thought they were helping me by doing that, it did not.

I felt very unhuman and that I wasn't worthy of being happy with myself because I had put on a load of weight. 

In the end I came off the Pill and the weight dropped off of me. I would say to anyone who wants to be truthful to someone they know, that never make an issue over someones weight as it can lead to an eating dissorder and can torment that person for life, and it is about being healthy not super skinny. 

This is where I would ask you to write 3 things that makes you happy with your life and yourself and you can either write these down or type them and again put it somewhere so you can see it, and then remind yourself of these three things. 

Then I want you to write a letter to your younger self. Check out my Blog post where I have done this:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/12/24/how-you-would-like-to-be-remembered-writing-to-your-younger-self/

We are never going to be remembered for how good we are at putting make up on, how we did our hair or how we organized our homes, but of who we are and if we were kind or not. So sit down and write a sentence that you would like to be remembered by. 

Building Confidence comes with looking deep inside you and what triggers you to feel bad about yourself. 

Life is about living, being happy and having a purpose, so live but don't just exist.

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie (L.M) X